If someone does these 7 things consistently, they probably don’t respect you as much as you think

I’ve learned that respect is never just about polite words or the occasional compliment. It’s about how someone genuinely treats you day in and day out—especially when nobody else is watching.

Sometimes, in both personal and professional relationships, we can sense that someone isn’t giving us the respect we deserve. Yet we keep making excuses for them because we don’t want to believe it.

If this rings a bell, read on. Below are seven consistent behaviors that could mean someone doesn’t hold you in as high regard as you might imagine.

Sure, we might all slip up from time to time—no one’s perfect. But if you notice these patterns happening over and over, it’s probably time to confront the issue. Or at least be more cautious in how much trust and energy you invest in that relationship.

Having navigated a range of personal and professional relationships—from management consulting to founding startups across multiple countries—I’ve encountered these dynamics more times than I’d like to admit. I’m hoping some of these reflections, along with insights from psychology and business research, can help you figure out if someone’s truly respecting you or not.

1. They often interrupt or talk over you

Few things feel as dismissive as being cut off mid-sentence or spoken over. It’s like you’re in a Zoom meeting, you start making a point, and before you’re halfway through, someone hijacks the conversation.

Most of us have experienced this at some point—someone who’s so busy waiting for their turn to talk that they never actually listen to what you’re saying. It doesn’t matter if your idea is brilliant or mediocre; they’ve already moved on to their own point before you’ve finished yours.

According to a study by Georgetown University professor Christine Porath, persistent disrespect (like chronic interruptions) leads to about 80% of employees losing work time worrying about it and 12% quitting altogether.

That’s a massive toll on morale and productivity—key aspects that matter enormously when it comes to building healthy business relationships.

Now, not everyone who interrupts is a malicious person. Some people just get overexcited or are used to speaking quickly. But if someone’s continuously cutting you off and doesn’t seem to care how it affects you, it’s a telltale sign that they might not truly value your input.

2. They refuse to respect your boundaries

“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others,” says Brené Brown.

I love that quote because it reminds us that boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about preserving our own well-being.

When you clearly state that something makes you uncomfortable—like receiving calls at 2 a.m. for non-urgent matters—or you can’t drop everything to accommodate a last-minute request, a respectful person will at least try to understand.

But if someone consistently bulldozes over those boundaries and pushes you into situations you’ve already said no to, it’s usually a red flag.

I noticed this in an old business partnership. We agreed to keep communications within regular working hours, but that agreement went out the window the moment he had an “urgent” idea.

And this wasn’t about genuine crises; these were random, impulse-driven thoughts that could’ve waited until the next morning. I felt disrespected because it was clear my time didn’t matter.

Boundaries are there for a reason—to help maintain balance in our personal and professional lives. People who truly respect you will do their best to honor them.

3. They only reach out when they need something

There’s nothing wrong with needing help—business and life can be tough, and we all lean on each other. But if you have someone in your circle who only rings you up when they want a favor, it’s worth asking whether they respect you or just see you as a resource.

I’m thinking of that friend or colleague who disappears until it’s time to pitch a new idea or get free advice. Maybe it’s a relative who only texts you when they need a loan or a co-worker who only pings you for tech support while never asking how you’re doing.

Respect is mutual. It’s not just about making polite conversation; it’s about caring enough to check in, share resources, and show interest in what the other person is going through—even when you have no immediate use for them.

As Stephen Covey famously said, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” If someone’s ignoring you whenever they don’t need something, they’re breaking down that trust—and giving you a big clue about how they see you.

4. They belittle your ideas or achievements

Have you ever gotten super excited about a personal achievement—maybe you landed a big client, launched a new YouTube channel, or successfully coded your first app—only for someone to dismiss it as trivial?

This happens more than people realize. Someone finds a way to downplay every milestone: “Oh, you’re just lucky,” or “It’s not that big of a deal.” It feels like a jab at your capabilities, and after a while, it chips away at your self-confidence.

It’s even more irritating in group settings, where this person might laugh at your ideas or say something like, “That’s cute, but here’s what we really should do.”

Sometimes, this is subtle. They’ll give you a half-smile and a quick brush-off before changing the subject. But subtle or not, consistently belittling or trivializing your work indicates a lack of respect for who you are and what you bring to the table.

It’s worth noting: people who put down your achievements might feel threatened by your success. They might also have their own insecurities. Whatever the reason, that’s on them, not you. Don’t let their disrespect dull your shine.

5. They don’t take accountability or apologize

We all make mistakes. Missed deadlines, harsh words in the heat of an argument, forgetting to reply to an important email—the list goes on. But someone who respects you will own up to these slip-ups and try to make amends.

In contrast, disrespect shows up as endless excuses, finger-pointing, and a refusal to utter those two simple words: “I’m sorry.”

I once worked on a project with a partner who messed up the product specs, setting us back weeks. Instead of admitting his oversight, he blamed everyone else—our suppliers, our marketing team, even the clients themselves. It was exhausting trying to work with someone who couldn’t face the consequences of his actions.

Psychologist Harriet Lerner, author of Why Won’t You Apologize?, argues that a genuine apology is one of the most important tools for maintaining healthy relationships. When someone refuses to apologize, they’re essentially telling you that their ego matters more than your feelings—and that’s a fundamental lack of respect.

6. They gossip about you behind your back

There’s a difference between venting to a trusted friend and systematically talking behind someone’s back. If you find out that someone in your circle is spreading rumors, sharing your private information, or painting you in a negative light when you’re not around, that’s a glaring sign of disrespect.

This is especially damaging in professional settings, where reputation matters enormously. One offhand comment can snowball into a full-blown narrative that affects how others see you—and you might not even know it’s happening until the damage is done.

Respect means having the courage to address issues directly, not whispering about them to anyone who’ll listen. If someone has a problem with you, a respectful person will bring it up with you, not broadcast it to the entire office or friend group.

7. They dismiss your feelings

This might be the most insidious one on the list. When you express that something has hurt or bothered you, a person who respects you will listen, even if they don’t fully agree.

But someone who doesn’t respect you will wave your feelings away: “You’re overreacting,” “Don’t be so sensitive,” or “It’s not a big deal.” This is a form of emotional invalidation, and over time, it can make you question your own perceptions—something psychologists call gaslighting.

Your feelings are valid, even when others don’t understand them. A respectful relationship—whether it’s a friendship, a romantic partnership, or a business collaboration—creates space for both people to express themselves without fear of being shut down.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these patterns isn’t always easy, especially when the person in question is someone you care about or depend on professionally. We often rationalize away the warning signs because confronting them feels uncomfortable.

But here’s what I’ve come to believe after years of building businesses and navigating relationships across different cultures and continents: respect is non-negotiable. It’s the foundation on which every healthy relationship is built—personal or professional.

If you’re consistently seeing these seven behaviors from someone in your life, it’s worth having an honest conversation about it. And if that conversation goes nowhere, it might be time to reevaluate how much of your energy that relationship deserves.

You deserve to be surrounded by people who genuinely value you—not just when it’s convenient for them, but all the time.