If you want to be the best version of yourself, say goodbye to these 7 habits

I used to think personal growth meant piling on new achievements or habits.

But lately, I’ve realized real change happens when you clear out the subtle behaviors quietly holding you back.

We often assume leveling up requires adding more—like daily exercise or meditation.

Sure, those things help.

But what if the bigger impact comes from eliminating the small, toxic patterns quietly lurking in your everyday life?

Over the years, I’ve built startups, traveled the world, and spent countless hours reading about psychology, productivity, and personal development.

And one thing consistently stands out: meaningful progress begins when you let go of what’s weighing you down.

Here are seven habits you should ditch if you’re serious about becoming your best self.

1. Constantly looking for external validation

Let’s start with one I struggled with in my twenties.

I was obsessed with seeing how many “likes” or social shares I could get for every business milestone.

I’d refresh my notifications like I was waiting for the lottery numbers.

If I didn’t get the response I expected, my mood would tank.

This endless chase for external thumbs-up is a slippery slope.

It’s easy to forget our goals and values if we’re always adjusting them to please someone else.

It’s not that feedback is worthless, in fact, constructive criticism is gold, but if you’re only acting to secure someone else’s pat on the back, you risk losing your own vision.

As Greg McKeown has said, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

Waiting around for approval puts your priorities on the back burner.

2. Obsessing over perfection

Perfectionism sounds admirable, right? It implies high standards.

But in reality, it’s often just fear in disguise: fear of making mistakes, looking foolish, or not being praised.

For me, perfectionism became a roadblock.

I used to hold off on launching my startup’s website because I was determined to make it flawless.

Days turned into weeks, and by the time I finally went live, we’d already lost valuable time and potential customers.

Perfectionism can sap the joy out of your work, relationships, and hobbies.

When you constantly think, “This isn’t good enough,” you end up with a paralyzing case of indecision.

I’ve learned that it’s better to launch an “imperfect” project and iterate than never launch at all.

Maybe that’s hitting “publish” on a blog post you feel is 90% there or pitching a project that’s solid but not immaculate.

Progress trumps perfection.

3. Negative self-talk

We all have that voice in our head, sometimes it’s encouraging, but other times it’s downright vicious.

I used to get stuck in a spiral of telling myself, “You’re not smart enough,” or “You’re just going to fail.”

I can’t stress how destructive this is.

Negative self-talk doesn’t just harm your self-esteem. It skews your entire perspective, making problems seem bigger than they really are.

When your inner voice is constantly throwing shade, you’re essentially training your mind to look for reasons you’ll never succeed.

It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

A practical way to tackle this?

Start noticing each time you say something negative to yourself. Then, intentionally flip it. 

For instance, “I’m terrible at this” can become “I’m improving with practice.”

It feels cheesy at first, but you’ll see a shift in your mindset if you stick with it.

4. Wasting time on unproductive distractions

I’m not going to tell you to ditch Netflix or banish social media entirely.

After all, sometimes we need to unwind.

But mindlessly scrolling until your eyes glaze over? That’s a habit worth ditching.

I remember days when I’d convince myself I was “researching” by browsing the internet, only to look at the clock and realize two hours had evaporated.

Cal Newport’s research on “deep work” underscores how shallow distractions can derail our productivity.

Every time you pause to check notifications or feed your doomscrolling habit, you disrupt your focus.

This means tasks that might take thirty minutes end up taking an hour or more.

Over time, it’s a recipe for frustration and burnout.

Try creating boundaries.

Maybe you set an alarm for a 45-minute focus block and let yourself have a quick break afterward.

Or schedule in your social media time so it’s deliberate rather than mindless.

Either way, cutting out that aimless digital black hole frees up space for real progress.

5. Playing the blame game

If a project flopped, I’d blame the market conditions.

If an idea didn’t get off the ground, I’d insist the investors didn’t get it.

And if I failed at something personal, like sticking to a new fitness routine, I’d blame my schedule.

Sound familiar?

Shifting accountability onto someone or something else might feel good in the moment, but it robs you of your power.

Studies in organizational psychology suggest that leaders who take personal accountability foster more trust and rapport in their teams.

Conversely, those who point fingers often see plummeting morale and less collaborative environments.

Taking responsibility for your actions cultivates what psychologists call an “internal locus of control.” 

In short, it means believing you can influence your own outcomes.

When you operate from that mindset, you’re more inclined to seek solutions rather than scapegoats.

You don’t waste energy on complaining, you invest it in finding a way forward.

6. Holding onto grudges

I used to keep a mental list of everyone who “did me wrong”, from a rude business partner to a friend who bailed on plans.

I thought I was standing up for myself by staying angry, but in reality, it was just emotional clutter.

My frustration didn’t affect those people one bit. It only drained me.

Learning to forgive, even if it’s a silent, personal decision, can reduce stress and help you move on faster.

I’m not saying you should forget or allow toxic people back into your life.

Healthy boundaries matter. But letting go of resentment is about prioritizing your well-being. 

It’s the emotional equivalent of clearing old junk from your garage: you make room for better things.

7. Constant comparison

When I browse Instagram or LinkedIn, it’s easy to see other entrepreneurs or writers who seem more successful, more polished, and just all-around “better.”

But comparisons are rarely fair.

You’re matching your everyday struggles with someone else’s polished best moments which might not even reflect their real story.

There’s actual research showing how social comparisons can erode your self-esteem and even increase the risk of depression.

Every minute spent comparing is a minute stolen from focusing on your own growth, your own journey, and your own wins, both big and small.

And to round things off (though it’s no small matter)…

Letting go of these behaviors won’t magically transform you overnight, but it frees up mental bandwidth to focus on what truly matters.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur trying to build a better business or someone simply looking to feel more fulfilled, cutting out the patterns that keep you stuck is a powerful first step.

One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that self-improvement isn’t just about adding new routines; it’s equally about releasing what holds you back.

It isn’t always comfortable, but it’s absolutely worth it.

Your time and energy each day are limited.

Be intentional about investing them in actions that propel you forward rather than repeating cycles that keep you standing still.