8 traits that make someone instantly more confident and appealing to others

You ever walk into a room and notice certain people who seem to radiate confidence without even trying? Maybe it’s the way they stand, or the ease with which they engage others in conversation. 

I’ve always been fascinated by how some folks can instantly draw people in, even when they’re not necessarily the loudest or the most outspoken. Turns out, it’s often down to a handful of key behaviors that help them project a sense of genuine self-assurance.

Below are eight of those traits that I’ve noticed in individuals who appear both confident and appealing to everyone around them. 

These aren’t magic tricks or genetic blessings—they’re simple behaviors we can all adopt and make our own.

1. They stand tall

Body language says a lot before you even open your mouth. 

We’ve all heard of “power posing,” which was popularized by Dr. Amy Cuddy, who pointed out that standing with a tall posture and your shoulders back can actually change the way you feel inside. 

When you carry yourself in an upright, open way, it signals to others that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Notice how you feel in that moment, too—it often has a positive effect on your mindset.

I used to catch myself slouching whenever I felt uncertain in new professional settings. Once I started paying attention to my posture—both when I’m sitting and standing—I immediately saw a difference in how people responded to me. It’s almost like they took me more seriously. 

That little shift helped me realize posture isn’t just about vanity, it’s about demonstrating self-respect.

2. They project their voice

Have you ever met someone who speaks so softly that you have to lean in just to catch half the conversation? 

Low volume doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of confidence, but consistently mumbling or trailing off can make it appear as though you’re unsure of yourself. 

A clear, steady voice gets people’s attention and shows that you’re ready to be heard.

There’s no need to shout—just speak loudly enough that others don’t have to strain to listen. 

3. They show genuine interest

Nothing’s more appealing than someone who’s actually curious about what you have to say. 

When someone leans in, asks follow-up questions, and really listens when you talk, it feels good, doesn’t it? That attention makes you feel valued and seen. 

In turn, you can’t help but be drawn to them.

Dale Carnegie was right when he wrote, “To be interesting, be interested.” 

Showing genuine interest—by asking thoughtful questions instead of generic ones—creates a sense of connection. As a result, people gravitate toward you because you’re giving them a space to be heard. 

4. They cultivate an open mind

Following on from that, let’s talk about open-mindedness. 

There’s a real magnetism to individuals who are open to new ideas and perspectives. They don’t shoot you down with an immediate “Nope” or a dismissive eye-roll. 

Instead, they’re open to discussion. That kind of curiosity can be a huge draw, especially in environments where everyone seems to have an opinion on everything.

I’ve personally found that people who are open-minded come across as more secure. They’re not threatened by ideas that differ from their own, and that’s a marker of confidence. 

Plus, being receptive can lead to better conversations, deeper connections, and more opportunities. 

In a dynamic business world—where we’re constantly bombarded with new tech, new tools, and new strategies—openness isn’t just appealing, it’s almost essential.

5. They embrace positive energy

Ever notice how a bad mood can spread through a group in no time at all? Negativity is contagious, but so is positivity. And of course, unsurprisingly, the latter is more attractive.

An upbeat person who looks on the bright side (without ignoring life’s realities) can instantly lift a room. That kind of energy draws people in like moths to a flame.

I’m not saying you have to morph into a cheerleader who only talks about rainbows and sunshine. It’s more about recognizing that your outlook has an impact on those around you. 

I’ve mentioned this before but—gratitude rituals, mindful breaks, or even just taking a second to acknowledge what’s going right can keep your spirits high. 

That energy then shows in your facial expressions, your tone of voice, and your general demeanor. People pick up on it, and they want to be around it.

6. They maintain authenticity

Have you ever spoken with someone who’s obviously putting on a persona? Maybe they’re overly rehearsed, or they’re always dropping big names in every sentence. 

It can come across as forced, and people sense that lack of authenticity right away. 

On the flip side, those who are comfortable being themselves—flaws, quirks, and all—tend to exude a natural charm.

And just like positivity, authenticity draws people in. 

I found that out the hard way early in my career, back when I was running my first startup. I tried to emulate someone else’s leadership style because I thought it made me look more “professional.” 

The truth is, people can sniff out inauthenticity. The moment I embraced what I was genuinely good at and asked for help with what I wasn’t, people trusted me more. And ironically, that made me more appealing as a leader.

7. They handle setbacks gracefully

Confidence isn’t about pretending life is perfect or that mistakes never happen. It’s about how we handle those inevitable “Oh no” moments. 

We’ve all worked with or known someone who, the minute something goes wrong, starts throwing blame around or panicking. That’s definitely not appealing, and it can shred your credibility in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, when someone faces a bump in the road and responds calmly and proactively, it’s a sign they believe in their own ability to figure things out. 

My favorite example is my friend who once had to give a big presentation, only to have the projector die in the middle. He shrugged, joked about technology not liking him that day, and then continued with his talk using printed handouts. 

Nobody cared that the slides were gone. They were too busy being drawn in by how unfazed he was.

8. They know how to use humor

Humor, when used at the right time and in the right measure, makes people relax and feel comfortable. 

You don’t have to be a stand-up comedian—just an occasional witty observation or a good-natured self-deprecating remark can lighten the mood and make you seem more approachable.

One thing I’ve learned is that humor builds a quick bridge with almost anyone. It shows you’re human, not just some robotic figure reciting facts. 

I remember a colleague who would break the tension in our weekly team meetings with perfectly timed one-liners. Everybody would breathe a sigh of relief, and the entire atmosphere would shift in a positive direction. 

We’d all walk away from those meetings feeling more connected, more confident, and more willing to collaborate.

Wrapping up, but it’s still a big deal…

Confidence can seem elusive, as though only a select few are blessed with it at birth. But I’ve come to see that it’s far more about practice and self-awareness than innate talent. 

The most appealing people I’ve met over the years are the ones who pay attention to how they present themselves, how they treat others, and how they manage their own mindset.

If you focus on standing tall, projecting your voice, showing genuine interest, staying positive, being authentic, keeping an open mind, navigating setbacks gracefully, and sprinkling in a bit of humor, you’ll be miles ahead in projecting that easy self-assurance.

It’s a skill you can develop in everyday situations—at work, at home, or anywhere you interact with people. And you might be pleasantly surprised at how quickly these habits can shift how others see you, and more importantly, how you see yourself.

Until next time, friends.