People who command respect in any room often use these 8 subtle phrases

People who command respect in any room aren’t necessarily the loudest or most dominant voices you’ll hear. In fact, it’s often the subtle language they use that sets them apart.

I’ve been in boardrooms where someone with a calm, self-assured presence could completely shift the energy in a discussion just by saying a few simple words. I’ve also sat in team meetings where the person with the most influence was the one asking gentle yet thought-provoking questions.

The trick to earning genuine respect from others is less about flashy displays of self-confidence and more about how we communicate with empathy, clarity, and authenticity.

Below are eight subtle phrases I’ve noticed are consistently used by those who command respect wherever they go. 

1. “I appreciate your perspective.”

This phrase might seem generic, but think about how rarely we actually say it to one another. Often, we’re so focused on making our own points that we forget to acknowledge someone else’s take on things.

When you say, “I appreciate your perspective,” you’re doing two things:

• Validating the other person’s experience or expertise.
• Showing that you’re open to different ideas, not just stuck in your own viewpoint.

People respect that. They feel heard.

I remember watching an old boss of mine regularly use this phrase in difficult negotiations. He’d say it even (and especially) when he disagreed with the other party. He wasn’t being manipulative; he genuinely wanted them to know their viewpoint mattered.

In return, those he interacted with trusted him, listened to him, and were far more inclined to meet him halfway.

And this idea is backed by leadership experts like Stephen Covey, who often emphasized the power of empathy in communication. As Covey has said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Telling someone you appreciate their perspective is a powerful step in doing exactly that.

2. “Could you help me understand…?”

I love asking questions. It’s one of the easiest ways to connect with others without having to show off. And that’s precisely why this phrase commands respect.

Instead of saying, “I don’t get it, explain yourself,” reframe it as, “Could you help me understand?” Notice how gentler and more respectful the second version sounds. It conveys respect for the other person’s knowledge or viewpoint. In turn, people generally reciprocate that respect right back to you.

Here at Small Biz Technology, we see this all the time: the most successful entrepreneurs and business leaders are often the ones asking the most questions. They’re rarely afraid to say, “Could you help me understand your strategy?” or “Could you help me understand the data behind this decision?”

That sense of humility—coupled with curiosity—tends to invite deeper trust and better collaboration. People respect leaders who don’t pretend to know it all but are proactive in filling their knowledge gaps.

3. “I take responsibility for that.”

Ever been in a meeting where something goes wrong and all you hear are excuses and finger-pointing? It’s frustrating to watch, and no one walks away respecting the blame-shifters.

Contrast that with someone who simply says, “I take responsibility for that” or “I own that mistake,” and then focuses on how to fix it. The shift in the room is palpable. Suddenly, there’s a sense of accountability and integrity.

As Warren Buffett has famously advised, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” Owning up to our errors, however uncomfortable, is one of the fastest ways to build a strong reputation. People see you as honest and trustworthy—two qualities that inevitably lead to respect.

From my own corporate days, I learned this one the hard way. I once missed a crucial deadline, and rather than offering a laundry list of excuses, I took responsibility for it, apologized, and proposed a plan to correct the mistake and prevent it from happening again.

While it was a rough experience, I ended up earning more respect from my team than if I’d deflected the blame.

4. “What do you think about…?”

I’ve mentioned this before, but one of the biggest mistakes we often make in conversations—particularly in business—is forgetting to ask for input. It’s too easy to become a talking head, delivering monologues or instructions without leaving space for others to share their perspectives.

Asking, “What do you think about…?” signals that you value the other person’s point of view. But it also conveys confidence. After all, if you were deeply insecure in your ideas, you’d be afraid to hear contradictory thoughts.

By opening the floor and inviting diverse ideas, you stand out as someone who’s comfortable entertaining multiple possibilities.

Brené Brown has noted, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.” When you invite others to share their thoughts, you’re essentially being vulnerable—you’re admitting you don’t have all the answers. That little bit of courage often elevates how others see you.

5. “I respect your time.”

Time is a priceless commodity, yet so many of us often treat it like it’s endless. We schedule unnecessary meetings, we talk in circles, or we expect immediate responses at all hours.

People who effortlessly earn respect are the ones who publicly acknowledge how valuable everyone’s time is. They might say, “I respect your time, so I’ll be brief,” or “I know you’re busy, so I appreciate you taking a moment to discuss this.”

You’d be amazed how positively people respond when they feel their time is recognized and valued. Whether you’re dealing with a co-worker, a client, or a potential partner, acknowledging their time signals you’re considerate and organized.

And there’s plenty of psychological research to back up the importance of respecting time. Studies indicate that people who set clear boundaries and expectations about time are perceived as more competent, decisive, and trustworthy in group settings.

6. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

This is such a simple phrase, yet it can instantly shift a conversation. When someone points out a problem or brings you critical feedback, it’s natural to get defensive.

But those who command respect see feedback (even tough feedback) as a gift. They don’t lash out or wave it off. Instead, they respond with something along the lines of “Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Let me think this over and get back to you.”

Notice how different that response is from, “Are you sure that’s accurate?” or “I don’t think it’s that big of a deal.” By expressing gratitude for the feedback, you’re inviting a culture of honesty and respect.

Tim Ferriss once said, “Focus on being productive instead of busy.” Part of being truly productive is dealing head-on with issues you might have overlooked. If someone brings one of those issues to your attention, that’s a chance to become more efficient, not an annoyance.

7. “Here’s how I can help.”

We all want to be seen as helpful, but how often do we explicitly offer assistance, beyond a passing “Let me know if you need anything”? People who command respect don’t just talk about helping; they specify exactly what they can do.

“Here’s how I can help” indicates proactivity and genuine commitment. It also shows you’ve thought through the logistics of the situation and have come up with tangible ways to be of service.

In my own experience building multiple ventures, I’ve learned that tangibility breeds trust. Saying, “I’ll have my design team create a quick mock-up for you by Friday—would that be helpful?” stands out more than, “Call me if you want some help.” The first approach shows follow-through; the second feels more like lip service.

Psychologist Robert Cialdini’s famous studies on influence highlighted the principle of reciprocity—when someone offers help, it encourages cooperation. So by offering specific help, you’re not just being nice; you’re also making it easier for others to engage with you in a positive, productive way.

8. “I’m happy to learn from you.”

In certain circles, you’ll see big egos on display—people who believe they already know it all. But ironically, that kind of posturing rarely commands the respect they crave.

Instead, it’s far more impressive to be open about what you don’t know. “I’m happy to learn from you” shows humility and signals that you don’t think you’re above others. This is not only refreshing, it’s disarming. People are far more willing to collaborate with someone who respects their skills and knowledge.

Charlie Munger, the longtime business partner of Warren Buffett, famously reads constantly and admits he’s always trying to learn something new. His success story is a testament to the idea that genuine curiosity and a willingness to learn from others leads to respect, not the other way around.

When you use “I’m happy to learn from you,” you’re letting the other person know they bring value to the table. That recognition alone can transform a casual interaction into a meaningful connection—one built on a foundation of mutual respect and growth.

Final words

Commanding respect isn’t about swagger or status. It’s not about being the loudest voice in the room or barking orders at people. Instead, it’s about how you engage with others: the empathy you show, the curiosity you demonstrate, and the accountability you take.

The eight phrases above might seem simple, but they carry a lot of weight in any conversation or meeting. They’re a verbal representation of who you are and how you see others.

And remember, genuine respect is never forced. You earn it by consistently showing people that their perspectives matter and that you’re willing to learn, to own your mistakes, and to value their time and effort.

These subtle phrases are just one way to ensure that when you speak, others will listen—and respect what you have to say.