If you want to feel more respected—not just tolerated—as you age, these 8 shifts can make a difference

Let’s get real for a minute: growing older can be a mixed bag.

On one hand, we (hopefully) gain wisdom, experience, and a boatload of stories to tell. On the other hand, many of us worry we’ll just blend into the background, feeling like we’re slowly being pushed aside.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Feeling respected isn’t about wearing fancy suits or relentlessly name-dropping your accomplishments. Instead, it’s often tied to how we carry ourselves, how we treat others, and how we keep growing as individuals.

Below are eight shifts I believe can help you earn genuine respect at any age—so you’re not merely “tolerated” but truly valued. Let’s dive in.

1. Continue learning

I’m a huge proponent of lifelong education. Nothing kills respect faster than outdated assumptions and stale knowledge. When we keep our minds active—whether that’s through reading new books, taking online courses, or simply exploring new technologies—we show that we’re dynamic and open to adapting with the times.

I once worked at a startup where our oldest team member was in his late 50s. While some folks assumed he’d be resistant to the latest tech, he often surprised us by being one of the first to test a new platform or gadget. Because of that, he was the go-to person for many tech questions and earned major respect from the entire team.

Research backs this up, too. A study from the American Psychological Association noted that individuals who actively engage in continuous learning tend to have higher cognitive function as they age. This not only helps you stay sharp, but it signals to those around you that you’re someone worth listening to—at any stage of life.

2. Own your experiences

Have you ever noticed how some people shy away from talking about their past achievements or struggles? They sometimes dismiss their own experiences as unimportant. But here’s the truth: your history is your unique asset, and when you confidently share those stories in the right context, you demonstrate value and wisdom.

“When you undervalue what you do, the world will undervalue who you are,” as Oprah once said. And though she might not be on our list of usual quotes, I think this line hits the nail on the head.

Owning your experiences doesn’t mean bragging. It means acknowledging you’ve been there, done that, learned a few lessons, and can bring that insight to the table.

This approach even helped me in my own entrepreneurial path. I started writing after running startups in my 20s. Early on, I doubted whether anyone would want to read what I had to say.

But once I embraced my experiences—failures, wins, and everything in between—I noticed people took me more seriously. They realized I wasn’t just throwing around theories; I was sharing stuff I’d lived.

3. Show empathy generously

One of the quickest ways to be overlooked is to make everything about yourself. If you want genuine respect, you’ve got to understand and acknowledge where others are coming from.

Ever sat down with someone who made you feel like you were the only person in the room? That’s empathy in action. Even if they don’t solve your problems on the spot, the fact that they’re truly listening elevates how you see them.

Simon Sinek once wrote, “Empathy is about standing in someone else’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes.” People remember how you make them feel—far longer than they remember any advice or solution you offer.

The best part is, empathy isn’t just for personal relationships. I’ve seen workplaces transformed by leaders who actively listen to their team. Showing empathy at any age says, “I care about you as a human,” and that’s a surefire way to earn respect.

4. Keep healthy boundaries

I’ve mentioned this before but setting clear boundaries is one of the most underrated forms of self-respect—and others will catch on and reflect that back. When you demonstrate you’ve got limits, people will be far less inclined to cross them.

Years ago, I fell into the trap of wanting to please everyone: taking on extra work, attending every social event, and basically saying “yes” to everything. Inevitably, I felt burned out, drained, and ironically, less respected because I wasn’t delivering my best self.

Then, I started politely declining certain requests and scheduling breaks (like a quick 10-minute walk every day at lunch). Suddenly, I found that the people around me began respecting my time more.

Instead of seeing me as the “whatever you need, whenever you need it” guy, they acknowledged me as someone whose time and energy held value.

According to a research, employees who set boundaries around work demands and personal time tend to experience less stress and higher job satisfaction. In a broader sense, this principle applies to family and social circles, too.

5. Focus on clarity

Ever meet someone who speaks in riddles, leaving you more confused than when you started the conversation? That’s the opposite of clear communication—and it rarely inspires respect.

In my writing, I aim to get to the point. Sure, I’ll throw in a personal anecdote here and there, but I don’t waste time dancing around what I mean. The same goes for everyday interactions. People appreciate someone who speaks candidly and avoids unnecessary jargon.

Greg McKeown, author of Essentialism, once noted, “Clarity is the elimination of mental clutter. Agility is the elimination of physical clutter.” And I think that’s spot on.

When you communicate your ideas in a straightforward way—especially about complex topics—you demonstrate confidence and competence. That combination is golden when it comes to earning respect, regardless of how many candles were on your last birthday cake.

6. Lean into gratitude

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.” That’s what Cicero said, and while I usually quote modern authors, this ancient wisdom still rings true.

I try to make it a habit to thank people whenever possible—even for the smallest things. You’d be amazed at how a simple “Thank you for explaining that” or “I appreciate you taking the time” can shift the entire dynamic of a conversation.

Researchers found that people who regularly express gratitude often experience stronger relationships and greater respect from peers.

It’s a simple but powerful way to show you value others and their contributions. And ironically, the more you appreciate others, the more they seem to appreciate you.

For me, starting the morning or ending the day by mentally listing a few things I’m thankful for helps me stay grounded. It reminds me that, no matter how chaotic life can get, there’s always something worth being grateful for—and that positive energy rubs off on others.

7. Build robust networks

Let’s be honest: sometimes, respect and influence go hand in hand. While I’m not saying you need a massive LinkedIn following to feel valued, having a circle of individuals you trust (and who trust you) can reinforce your credibility.

When you connect with people—mentors, friends, colleagues—you’re essentially building a support system that will vouch for your character. A strong network isn’t about schmoozing or collecting business cards like Pokémon. It’s about developing genuine relationships over time.

As Tim Ferriss once observed, “Your network is your net worth.” Sure, that phrase might seem a bit too entrepreneurial, but it highlights how much your connections can help shape your opportunities and, by extension, the way you’re perceived.

I’ve personally found that collaborating on projects, offering help when I can, and simply reaching out to say hello are some of the best ways to keep those connections alive. If you’re consistently known as someone who shows up, people will respect that. It’s as simple as that.

8. Stay physically active and mindful

Let’s get physical for a second—being intentional about your physical health can directly impact how others view you, especially as the years roll on. When we move, exercise, or engage in mindful practices like yoga or meditation, it’s not just about the body. It’s also about mental resilience and boosting self-esteem.

Research by the National Institute on Aging points out that regular exercise can improve both physical and emotional well-being in older adults. This, in turn, can contribute to a more confident demeanor, and confidence is often synonymous with earning respect.

One of my go-to moves is taking a quick break midday to stretch or do a few pushups. Doesn’t matter if I’m traveling, at home, or in the office—those tiny bursts of movement keep me grounded.

You’d be surprised how people notice and admire the dedication. And that’s often how respect starts—people witnessing what you consistently do to take care of yourself.

Wrapping things up, but it’s still a big deal…

When it comes down to it, respect is often less about the number of years behind you and more about how you choose to show up in the world. These eight shifts aren’t about forcing anyone to admire you; they’re about becoming the kind of person who naturally earns that admiration.

Whether you’re taking on new skills, staying up to date with technology, or quietly backing a friend through a tough time, the little moves you make every day add up to a strong sense of self—and others can’t help but pick up on that vibe.

Remember, too, that respect starts with self-respect. If you don’t believe in your own worth, it becomes tougher for others to see it. But by leaning into these practices—lifelong learning, empathy, boundaries, clarity, gratitude, networking, and caring for your health—you’ll create a personal environment where respect naturally thrives.

I’ve witnessed these principles work for me and countless others, whether in entrepreneurial settings or in day-to-day life. Give them a shot, and see if they move the needle for you, too.

Until next time, friends.