Have you ever observed someone at a party who doesn’t necessarily stand in the spotlight yet seems to know exactly what’s going on around them?
They’re not bragging about their accomplishments or showing off how many books they’ve read, but every now and then, they drop insights that make you pause and think, “How did they even come up with that?”
I’ve had the privilege of interacting with some seriously bright minds—colleagues in my old startups, friends from travels, and fellow readers who share a passion for nonfiction and self-improvement.
Interestingly, the more time I spend with them, the more I notice that certain intelligent behaviors aren’t as flashy as we might expect. In fact, many of these folks are downright low-key about their smarts.
So, what are some of these understated traits? Let’s dive into seven habits that often signal someone has above-average intelligence (even if they never talk about their SAT scores or IQ tests).
1. They observe more than they speak
It’s a cliché, but actions really do speak louder than words. I’ve noticed that highly intelligent people often spend more time soaking up information than trying to showcase what they know.
Instead of being the first to comment in a group conversation, they hang back, listen intently, and only chime in when they have something genuinely valuable to add. They’re more likely to ask clarifying questions than rush to give opinions.
What’s the benefit of this habit? It’s essentially intellectual reconnaissance. By observing carefully, they gather context that helps them make wiser decisions or craft sharper insights.
Research has shown that people who actively listen and observe can better interpret social cues, understand group dynamics, and navigate complex situations.
Have you ever sat in a meeting and noticed the quiet person in the corner who eventually offers the most concise yet profound input? Chances are, that person was busy connecting dots while everyone else was busy talking.
2. They embrace deep work without making a big deal about it
Some people make a huge show of how “focused” they are or how many hours they log at the office. But those with above-average intelligence often commit to challenging tasks with a calm resolve, almost like it’s second nature.
They might turn off their phone notifications, slip on noise-canceling headphones, and dive into problem-solving mode. It’s not about appearing industrious; it’s about immersing themselves in meaningful work.
Tim Ferriss has said, “Focus on being productive instead of busy,” and I think it captures this habit perfectly. Deep work isn’t just about cranking out massive hours. It’s about eliminating distractions to improve the quality of your thinking and output.
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I once knew a developer who would quietly disappear for a few hours every afternoon. He’d emerge with incredibly elegant code solutions that made everyone else wonder how on earth he got so much done. He wasn’t loud about his process—he just structured his environment so his brain could function at its best.
3. They stay curious about nearly everything
I find that truly intelligent people have an insatiable appetite for knowledge that goes beyond what’s “required” of them. Whether it’s exploring new technology trends, diving into obscure historical events, or picking up random skills for fun, their curiosity doesn’t stop.
This aligns with what Charlie Munger—Warren Buffett’s longtime business partner—once said: “I constantly see people rise in life who are not the smartest—sometimes not even the most diligent—but they are learning machines.”
He was pointing out that a consistent drive to learn, adapt, and question is often more valuable than raw IQ.
These individuals may not parade their expertise around, but if you talk to them long enough, you’ll discover they’ve dabbled in a range of areas just for the sheer pleasure of learning. And here’s the kicker: they often connect the dots between different fields in novel ways.
4. They keep an open mind, even about viewpoints they disagree with
I’ve mentioned this before but it bears repeating: open-mindedness is a game-changer for personal growth. It’s also a telltale sign of high intellect.
Being open-minded doesn’t mean you automatically accept every new idea or shift your perspective at the drop of a hat. Rather, it means you’re willing to consider different angles, test them against what you know, and adjust your stance if you find merit in an opposing view.
Jordan Peterson often emphasizes the importance of being able to articulate the counterargument to your own position before you dismiss it. That’s a subtle but powerful indicator of intelligence: if you can argue both sides without getting defensive, you’re practicing a high-level mental exercise.
Open-minded people rarely see disagreements as personal attacks. Instead, they treat them as learning opportunities. They’ll say things like, “That’s interesting—tell me more,” rather than shutting the conversation down.
5. They reflect on their own thinking
Metacognition is the fancy term for being aware of your own thought processes, and it’s a major hallmark of intelligence. But most people who do this rarely brag about it. Instead, they quietly take time to think about their thinking.
James Clear, author of “Atomic Habits,” has famously said, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” I’d argue every thought you entertain is also a reflection of the person you’re becoming.
Intelligent folks often journal or mentally recap the day—questioning their assumptions, analyzing their decisions, and looking for ways to grow. This habit is subtle; you might only notice it if they casually mention, “I realized I might have been wrong about X, so I’m reconsidering my approach.”
Psychologists suggest that self-reflection is crucial for personal development and better decision-making. In essence, thinking about how you think helps you refine your worldview over time.
6. They keep a balanced sense of humor
Not all humor has to be gut-busting or obvious. In fact, a hallmark of many intelligent people is a quiet, sometimes even self-deprecating, wit.
They won’t hijack a conversation to show off comedic chops. Instead, they’ll drop a subtle remark that cracks you up because it’s so perceptive.
I once worked with a quiet product manager who barely spoke in brainstorming sessions until the tension got high. Then he’d cut it with a single line that was both hilarious and insightful.
He had this uncanny ability to read the room, gauge the mood, and deliver exactly the joke that would lighten things up without distracting from the task at hand.
Experts in social psychology say that the ability to craft humor—especially humor that ties complex ideas together—can be a sign of high cognitive ability. It requires reading your audience, processing the situation quickly, and connecting ideas in an unexpected but logical way.
7. They know when to say “I don’t know”
We live in a culture that often glorifies having an answer for everything. Paradoxically, one of the most telling signs of intelligence is the willingness to admit ignorance.
Greg McKeown, author of “Essentialism,” notes that we should “discern the trivial many from the vital few.” Applying that logic to knowledge, intelligent folks don’t waste energy pretending to be experts in trivial areas. They have no qualms saying “I don’t know” or “Let me look that up.”
There’s a certain confidence in being comfortable with gaps in your knowledge because it leaves space for genuine curiosity and learning. This trait can be hard to spot.
Some might even think the person just isn’t well-versed. But pay attention: people who say “I don’t know” tend to actually find out later, and then they return with a fresh perspective that can blow you away.
“Fake it till you make it” might be decent for boosting confidence in some scenarios, but when it comes to actual knowledge, faking it can close the door to real growth. People with above-average intelligence would rather learn the right answer than bluff their way through.
Wrapping up
Wrapping things up, but it’s still a big deal to recognize that intelligence isn’t always paraded around in obvious ways. In fact, some of the brightest individuals I’ve met are so subtle about their strengths, you’d never guess they have such a sharp mind unless you paid close attention.
If you ever catch someone calmly focusing on a single task, quietly observing a room, asking open-ended questions, or taking ownership of what they don’t know, it might be a signal that there’s more to them than meets the eye.
These low-key habits can be more indicative of true intelligence than any IQ test score or academic credential. Feel free to explore these ideas in your own life, too.
When we observe more, learn deeply, question frequently, and stay humble about what we don’t know, we take steps toward refining our own thinking. And that process—of continually evolving our mindset—might just be the real definition of “smart.”
Until next time, friends.
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