You’re being judged within seconds—here’s what people are actually picking up on

You’ve probably heard the saying “First impressions last,” but let’s be real—it’s more than a cliché. 

I’ve been in enough meetings, interviews, and networking events to know that people form their opinions about us at lightning speed. Sometimes it feels like you barely get in the door or open a Zoom call before the judgment hits. 

It’s not always fair, but it’s how we’re wired—our brains crave quick conclusions to make sense of the world.

Here are 7 signals that may seem subtle but actually play a huge role in how people perceive you.

1. Your posture

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that people notice how you carry yourself almost immediately. 

Are your shoulders slumped? Are you half-hunched over your phone as you walk in? Those subtle clues speak volumes about your confidence and self-esteem. 

According to Harvard social psychologist Amy Cuddy, “When we’re sad, we slouch. We also slouch when we feel scared or powerless.” 

In contrast, standing (or sitting) tall instantly suggests you’re self-assured. This doesn’t mean puffing out your chest to cartoonish levels—it’s more about being relaxed but upright, like you know your worth and you’re comfortable showing it. 

Not only does our posture influence what people think of us, it can also influence our own self-perception.

So the next time you catch yourself slouching, do a quick mental reset: shoulders back, chin up, feet planted. It might sound small, but trust me, it’s often the first thing others see.

2. Your eye contact

Eye contact can be tricky. Some people avoid it because they’re shy or anxious; others might overdo it and accidentally creep someone out by staring too intensely. 

Yet when it’s natural and well-timed, eye contact conveys confidence, respect, and attentiveness. 

In those first few seconds of meeting someone, a friendly, steady gaze is like a bridge that helps build an immediate rapport.

One thing that’s helped me is an approach I read about in a leadership book: aim to maintain eye contact for about three to five seconds, then briefly look away—maybe to nod or smile—and then circle back. It keeps the connection strong without feeling forced. 

If you tend to dart your eyes around when you’re nervous, practicing with a friend or colleague can help you become more comfortable holding someone’s gaze.

3. Your facial expression

Ever walked into a room where someone greets you with a sincere, warm smile? It changes everything. 

Conversely, if you see a frown or a scowl, you might brace for a not-so-great interaction. 

One thing I’ve come to realize is that your face reveals what you’re feeling—like it or not. People are quick to pick up on tension in your jaw or the tightness of your lips.

When I first started public speaking, I was nervous as heck. I’d tense up, and my face turned into this mask of worry. I didn’t even consider how it made me look, until a friend videotaped one of my talks, and I saw just how stiff I appeared. From then on, I made a conscious effort to maintain a soft, open expression. It helped me relax, and it made others more receptive. 

A slight smile—even if you’re nervous—can go a long way in disarming initial judgments.

4. Your handshake

Yes, I’m talking about the good old handshake—or fist bump, or even a wave if that’s your thing. It’s one of those timeless rituals that hasn’t gone out of style, even in our digital-first world. 

When someone extends their hand, the firmness (or lack thereof) tells a story: too limp might imply uncertainty, too crushing can suggest aggression. 

And if you’re that person who forgets to make eye contact during a handshake, people notice.

So what’s the perfect way to do it? Here’s what the folks at Forbes suggest: 

• Keep good posture
• Make eye contact
• Hold your right hand out
• Give a good firm shake
• Follow the two second rule
• Smile!
• Greet the other person and repeat their name

 This combination of the right signals sets the right tone, right away.

5. Your voice

We’ve all encountered someone who speaks in a near-whisper, making it tough to catch what they’re saying, or the opposite—the person who’s practically shouting into your ear. 

In those first critical seconds, people pick up on your tone and volume, deciding if you’re approachable, assertive, or maybe even overbearing. 

Research shows that our voice can strongly influence how competent or trustworthy someone appears.

For me, I find the sweet spot by reminding myself to breathe. When I’m excited (or anxious), I tend to talk faster and in a slightly higher pitch. 

Slowing down and taking a quick breath helps me sound more grounded. It also gives the listener a chance to absorb what I’m saying. 

If you’re prone to monotone or mumbling, practicing enunciation and varying your pitch can help people stay engaged.

6. Your attire

We live in a more casual era—hoodies and sneakers have made their way into boardrooms. But that doesn’t mean attire is irrelevant. It’s still part of the story you’re telling the minute someone sees you. 

Psychologists point out that people will judge you by your appearance first, and your words come second.

That said, the real question isn’t whether you’re wearing a suit or jeans, but whether your clothing is neat, fits well, and matches the context. 

I once showed up to a tech conference in formal business attire because I assumed that’s what everyone would do. Turns out, it was mostly T-shirts and jeans, and I looked like I was heading for a courthouse. 

Lesson learned: align your style with the environment. You don’t have to sacrifice comfort to look put-together, but you do want to show that you respect the space you’re entering.

7. Your digital footprint

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that in our hyperconnected age, the first “impression” might happen before you even meet someone face-to-face. 

Potential clients, investors, or collaborators often scope you out online. They might peek at your LinkedIn profile, scroll through your Twitter feed, or glance at your Instagram. 

If your social media presence is littered with negative rants, questionable comments, or incomplete bios, they’ll notice.

I remember when a friend of mine was hiring for a startup. He immediately searched the applicants’ names online and found more than a few red flags (or general chaos) on their profiles. That affected who he ended up interviewing. 

So, keep your digital spaces updated and professional—while still reflecting your personality. The goal isn’t to be perfect, but to be mindful that your online presence is often part of people’s snap judgment.

8. Your energy

“Energy” might sound a little intangible, but I’ve found it’s often what ties everything together. 

It’s that subtle vibe you bring into a room—are you excited, anxious, approachable, or aloof? 

Your energy shines through your posture, your facial expressions, your tone of voice—all of it. People pick up on this almost instinctively.

I used to show up to meetings with a frantic, stressed-out energy if I’d had a busy day. Guess what? That energy transferred to the room. Folks seemed uneasy or on edge around me, and it took a while to figure out it wasn’t just what I was saying—it was the vibe I was radiating. 

So now, before heading into a big interaction, I take a quick moment to calm my nerves, get centered, and remind myself why I’m there. 

Even thirty seconds of deep breathing can shift your mood. And when your energy is positive, people tend to respond in kind.

Wrapping things up, but it’s still a big deal…

Snap judgments might feel unfair, but they happen regardless. It’s just human nature. 

The good news is that you can influence a lot of these rapid-fire impressions with mindful tweaks.  

There’s no need to be someone you’re not. In my experience, authenticity always outshines any carefully orchestrated performance. Just be aware of the signals you’re sending. 

With a bit of self-awareness and a willingness to adapt, you can turn those split-second judgments into an advantage—both in personal and professional settings.

Until next time, friends.