People who never seem to get angry often express it in these 8 toxic ways instead

When someone yells, it’s clear they’re angry. When they’re silent, maybe not so much.

But hey, don’t be fooled by calm exteriors. They’re often a mask for festering anger, expressed in subtle, toxic ways.

Sounds complicated? It’s not really. The human mind is a puzzle alright, but some pieces are easier to spot if you know where to look.

In my work with entrepreneurs and business professionals, I’ve found that those who rarely show their anger often have other outlets – and they’re not always healthy.

So buckle up as we delve into the eight toxic ways people who hardly ever seem angry actually express it. This might just change how you perceive silence in your professional and personal relationships.

1) Passive aggression is their go-to strategy

Ever dealt with someone who never seems to lose their cool, but their words are often laced with a subtle, sharp sting?

That’s passive aggression for you.

It’s a classic way for people who rarely show overt anger to express their frustration.

They may not raise their voice or throw things around, but they’ll sure make you feel their wrath through snide remarks, backhanded compliments, and a generally negative vibe.

This can be especially toxic in professional environments. It can create an undercurrent of tension that’s hard to pinpoint but impossible to ignore.

And guess what? If you’re on the receiving end of this, you’re actually dealing with someone’s suppressed anger. Not exactly a walk in the park, is it?

2) They’re masters of the silent treatment

Alright, let me share a story from my own life.

I had a business partner who was the epitome of calm. Nothing seemed to rattle him. But I noticed something… off.

Whenever we disagreed on something, he’d go silent. Not the “I need some time to think” kind of silence. It was more like “I won’t acknowledge your existence” type.

It took me a while to realize that this was his way of expressing anger. Instead of voicing his displeasure or disagreement, he’d choose to withdraw completely, creating an invisible barrier that was hard to breach.

Not only was this toxic for our professional relationship, but it also made resolving issues a lot harder.

Remember, if someone’s giving you the cold shoulder, it might just be their anger speaking… or rather, not speaking.

3) They use sarcasm as a weapon

Ever heard of Oscar Wilde? He was an Irish poet and playwright who famously said, “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit but the highest form of intelligence.”

Well, when it comes to people who rarely express overt anger, sarcasm often becomes their weapon of choice. It’s a clever way to express frustration without seeming to lose control.

A sarcastic comment here, a cynical joke there – it might seem harmless at first. But over time, it can create a hostile environment where genuine communication becomes challenging.

If you find yourself constantly on the receiving end of someone’s biting sarcasm, you might be dealing with their suppressed anger. A situation that calls for a bit of that Wildean intelligence, wouldn’t you say?

4) They’re experts at playing the victim

Sometimes, people who rarely express their anger in a direct manner choose to channel it into playing the victim.

They turn the tables, making it seem like they’re the ones being wronged, even when they might be the cause of the issue.

This behavior serves as a shield, protecting them from confronting their anger and taking responsibility for their feelings. Instead, they project it onto others, causing confusion and guilt.

This can be particularly damaging in a professional setting, as it disrupts the balance of responsibility and accountability.

If you notice someone constantly playing the victim, you might be witnessing a disguised expression of their anger. Pretty sneaky, isn’t it?

5) They often resort to gaslighting

This one hits close to home. In my past, I’ve encountered people who seemed calm and collected, yet had a knack for making me question my own perceptions and feelings. I later realized that this was a form of gaslighting.

Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where a person makes others doubt their own experiences and sanity. It’s a subtle, yet powerful way of expressing anger or resentment.

Instead of addressing the issue at hand, the person makes you feel like you’re the problem.

I’ve seen this happen in workplaces too – a colleague or superior who never seems to lose their cool but has a way of making you feel inadequate or overreactive.

So if you ever find yourself questioning your reality around someone who never seems to get angry, remember, it could be their anger at play, hidden under layers of manipulation.

6) They’re overly generous with their compliments

Sounds odd, right? How could being nice be a sign of suppressed anger?

Well, it’s all about the intent behind the kindness. People who rarely show their anger might shower others with compliments and praise.

But if you pay close attention, you’ll notice these compliments often come with a subtle undercurrent of resentment or competitiveness.

It’s as if they’re saying, “Look how good you are, better than me”, but what they’re really communicating is their frustration.

While it’s great to be appreciated, beware of those who seem to overdo it. Their generosity might just be a cleverly disguised expression of their anger.

7) They’re prone to frequent “jokes” at others’ expense

Laughter is a great way to diffuse tension, right? Well, not always.

People who rarely express their anger openly might resort to humor as an outlet. But here’s the catch – their jokes are often at the expense of others.

It’s a form of indirect aggression that allows them to express their resentment or frustration without seeming confrontational.

Remember, a joke is only funny if everyone’s laughing. If you notice someone consistently making jokes that leave others feeling uncomfortable or belittled, they might be expressing suppressed anger.

Watch out for those zingers. They might pack more punch than you think!

8) They often exhibit signs of chronic fatigue or stress

Here’s the thing. Suppressed anger has a physical toll.

People who rarely express their anger might seem calm on the outside, but inside, they’re likely simmering with unexpressed frustration and resentment.

This internal struggle can manifest as chronic fatigue, stress, or even physical illnesses.

If you notice someone constantly tired or stressed despite their calm demeanor, they might be battling suppressed anger. It’s a silent cry for help that shouldn’t be ignored.

Understanding the silent language of anger

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, you’ll have seen that those who rarely express anger aren’t as calm as they appear.

Their silence often speaks volumes, echoing through passive-aggression, manipulation, and even faux kindness.

But remember, understanding this isn’t about labeling or judging. It’s about fostering empathy and awareness.

George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

When dealing with people who express their anger in these subtle ways, don’t let the illusion of calm fool you. Read between the lines. Listen to what’s not being said. Recognize the signs and respond with compassion.

Because beneath that placid surface, there might be a storm raging on, silently crying out for understanding.