It’s a curious thing, the way we humans communicate. We often lace our words with hidden meanings, subtle hints of our true feelings lurking beneath the surface. And one of the most common ways this manifests itself is in the language of insecurity.
Insecurity is a universal human experience, but it’s also one we tend to hide, often behind a facade of confidence or bravado.
But if you pay close attention, you’ll start to notice certain phrases that crop up again and again in the speech of those who are secretly grappling with feelings of insecurity.
Over time, I’ve come to identify seven such phrases that are commonly overused by those wrestling with hidden insecurities.
And today, I’m going to share these with you—not to embarrass or shame anyone, but rather to create awareness and understanding.
1) “I’m not sure, but…”
Insecurity often leads us to question our own knowledge and abilities. This doubt can manifest itself in phrases like “I’m not sure, but…” It’s a subtle disclaimer, an attempt to shield oneself from potential criticism or failure.
This phrase is a signal that we are holding ourselves back, not fully stepping into our potential due to fear of judgement or rejection.
We may believe that by couching our thoughts and ideas in uncertainty, we protect ourselves from criticism. But in reality, we only undermine our own credibility and authority.
The key here is not to conceal our insecurities behind a veil of uncertainty, but rather to embrace them. To acknowledge that we don’t have all the answers and that’s okay.
It’s okay to be unsure, it’s okay to make mistakes. What’s important is that we learn, grow, and continue to contribute our unique perspectives and ideas.
Next time you catch yourself saying “I’m not sure, but…”, take a moment to reassess. Trust yourself. You have valuable insights to share—so step into your power and own them.
2) “Just my luck”
It’s a common refrain when things don’t pan out as we hope, suggesting that we are at the mercy of fate or bad fortune.
This belief in external forces shaping our lives often springs from a place of insecurity. It’s a way of deflecting responsibility for our outcomes, insinuating that we’re victims of circumstance rather than proactive creators of our own experiences.
But here’s the catch: when we attribute our failures or missteps to luck, we disempower ourselves. We absolve ourselves of responsibility, and in doing so, rob ourselves of the opportunity to learn and grow from our experiences.
In my own life, I’ve found that adopting a mindset of personal responsibility has been key to overcoming insecurities and cultivating resilience. As I like to remind myself, “Life isn’t happening to us, it’s responding to us.”
And as the renowned psychologist Carl R. Rogers once said: “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” So let’s shift our focus from blame and luck, to learning, growth and personal responsibility.
3) “I’ll try…”
One of the most revealing phrases used by those harboring insecurities is “I’ll try…”. It sounds harmless, even proactive. But at its core, it’s a phrase that suggests uncertainty, a lack of commitment, and often, a fear of failure.
This is where the transformative power of shifting our language and mindset comes into play. Instead of saying “I’ll try…”, what if we were to say “I will…”? This subtle change can have a profound impact on our confidence and ability to take decisive action.
As part of my work with The Vessel, I collaborated with shaman Rudá Iandê to create a powerful Free Your Mind Masterclass.
This online journey is designed to help you transcend limiting beliefs including the kind of insecurity that leads us to say “I’ll try…” rather than “I will…”.
Rudá Iandê guides participants through practical exercises that bust common spiritual myths and promote personal liberation.
One standout exercise specifically addresses overcoming self-imposed limitations, setting you on a path towards embracing your true potential.
By aligning your thoughts and actions with your personal values, as this masterclass encourages, you’ll experience improved mental clarity and emotional resilience. You’ll move from saying “I’ll try…” to confidently declaring “I will…”.
4) “I’m fine.”
We’ve all said it. “I’m fine.” It’s the knee-jerk response when we’re asked how we’re doing, especially when we’re anything but fine. It’s another phrase often overused by those wrestling with insecurity.
Claiming we’re “fine” can be a way of shielding our vulnerabilities, of maintaining an illusion of control and stability when we may feel anything but. It’s a defense mechanism, a wall we erect to keep others from seeing our struggles.
But here’s the raw truth: it’s okay not to be fine. In fact, acknowledging that we’re not fine is often the first step towards genuine healing and growth. And it takes courage to do that—to strip away the facade and stand in our truth.
Authenticity involves owning our feelings, acknowledging when we’re not “fine”, and taking steps to address what’s really going on.
So ask yourself, are you truly “fine”, or are you hiding behind this word to shield your insecurities? Isn’t it time you started owning your truth?
5) “I don’t need help.”
Here’s a phrase that often trips us up: “I don’t need help.” It’s a declaration of independence, an assertion of self-sufficiency. But it can also be a mask for insecurity, a way to avoid showing vulnerability or admitting that we don’t have all the answers.
The truth is, we all need help sometimes. We’re social creatures, wired for cooperation and mutual support. Recognizing and accepting help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a testament to our humanity and interdependence.
This aligns with my belief in the importance of supportive communities and authentic relationships. It’s through our connections with others that we find the courage to pursue our dreams, the resilience to overcome challenges, and the joy of shared experiences.
None of us can thrive alone.
Asking for help isn’t an admission of defeat—it’s an act of strength. It’s about acknowledging that we don’t know everything, that we can learn from others, and that we’re stronger together.
To say “I need help” is to embrace our shared humanity and to recognize our interconnectedness.
6) “It’s nothing really…”
This phrase is commonly used to downplay one’s achievements or ideas, as if they were not worth acknowledging or celebrating.
But here’s the honest truth: your accomplishments, no matter how big or small, are worth celebrating. They are a testament to your efforts, your resilience, and your creativity – the essence of our humanity that I deeply believe in.
When we downplay our achievements, we inadvertently diminish our own self-worth.
It’s important to recognize and celebrate our successes, not as a means of boasting or seeking validation from others, but as a way of honoring our own journey and growth.
By acknowledging our achievements, we reinforce our self-belief and build confidence in our abilities.
Every step forward, no matter how small it might seem, is a testament to your courage and determination.
7) “Sorry for bothering you…”
Finally, the phrase “Sorry for bothering you…” is often overused by those battling insecurities. It’s a phrase that suggests we believe we are being a nuisance or imposing on others.
But asserting our needs and expressing our thoughts aren’t impositions – they’re fundamental aspects of human interaction and relationships based on mutual respect and empathy, which I deeply value.
True empowerment comes from recognizing that our voice matters – that we have a right to express our needs and desires without feeling like we’re a bother.
It’s about taking full responsibility for our lives and focusing on what we can control—our own attitudes, actions, and responses.
The next time you find yourself saying “Sorry for bothering you…”, remember: Your voice matters. Speak your truth. You’re not a bother – you’re a human being with valid thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Embracing authenticity
Each phrase is a reflection of our internal narratives—stories we tell ourselves about our worth, capabilities, and place in the world. By challenging these narratives, we can begin to shift our perceptions and step into our true potential.
Taking responsibility for our language and actions, aligning our decisions with our personal values, and embracing the transformative power of self-awareness and personal growth are all key steps towards authenticity and freedom.
These principles are at the heart of the Free Your Mind Masterclass with Rudá Iandê.
In this masterclass, which I had the honor of producing, Rudá guides you through exercises designed to dismantle limiting beliefs and societal conditioning. By doing so, it fosters a mindset shift towards self-acceptance and personal liberation.
Joining this masterclass will offer you a practical approach to personal development, helping you to align your thoughts and actions with your deepest values, leading to improved mental clarity and emotional resilience.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
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