If you want to sharpen your people skills as you get older, say goodbye to these 8 behaviors

Growing older, like fine wine, should mean getting better. I’ve always held onto this belief, even when the mirror reflects more wrinkles than I’d like to admit.

But there’s one aspect of aging that’s not automatically improving with time: people skills.

You’d think, after decades of dealing with all kinds of people, that you’d become a pro at navigating the social maze.

But it doesn’t always work out that way. Even the most charming among us can find ourselves stumbling in a conversation, or struggling to connect with someone new.

It’s not your fault, not entirely anyway. The world is changing, people are changing, and the way we relate to each other is changing too.

However, there are some behaviors that might be holding you back from becoming a social butterfly in your golden years.

And yes, it’s going to be tough to let go of these habits. They’ve probably been with you for years, maybe even decades.

Yet it’s necessary if you want to improve your people skills and continue building meaningful relationships as you age.

Here’s how to identify those eight behaviors that you need to say goodbye to, in order to sharpen your people skills as you age.

It might be challenging, but I assure you it’s definitely worth the effort.

1) Sticking with outdated communication norms

Growing older doesn’t mean you’re stuck in a time warp. Communication methods have evolved considerably over the years, and if you’re still clinging onto the old norms, it could be a major roadblock in enhancing your people skills.

Remember those days when writing letters was the norm? Now, it’s all about instant messages, emails, and video calls.

If you find yourself struggling with these new ways of connecting, it might be time to say goodbye to your comfort zone.

The world has moved on, and so should you. It’s not just about keeping up with the latest technology, but also about adapting to the changing expectations of communication.

Learning new methods to communicate might seem daunting at first. But once you adapt, it can open up opportunities to connect with a wider range of people – from across the globe, different age brackets and diverse backgrounds.

Embrace this change, and watch your people skills flourish as you age.

It might be challenging initially, but once you get the hang of it, you’ll wonder why you didn’t start sooner.

2) Being resistant to new ideas

Another behavior that can hamper the growth of your people skills is an unwillingness to embrace new ideas. As we age, it’s natural to become somewhat resistant to change.

We develop a comfort zone and prefer things that are familiar and predictable. But if we want to continue growing, it’s crucial to stay open and receptive to new concepts and perspectives.

I remember when a young colleague introduced me to the concept of mindfulness and meditation. I was skeptical at first. I thought it was just another trend that would fade away soon.

But seeing the positive impact it had on my colleague’s life made me curious.

I decided to give it a try, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Not only did it help me become more focused and calm, but it also improved my interactions with others.

I became more patient, empathetic and understanding – key elements of strong people skills.

So if you find yourself dismissing new ideas simply because they’re unfamiliar or different, reconsider your stance.

Be open-minded and give them a fair chance – you might be surprised at the doors they open for you.

3) Ignoring the importance of active listening

Epictetus, a famous Greek philosopher, once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” This quote rings true, especially when it comes to sharpening our people skills.

Active listening is not just about hearing the words that are spoken. It’s about understanding the message behind those words, the emotions attached, and responding appropriately.

We’ve all had those conversations where it seems like the other person is just waiting for their turn to speak. It can feel dismissive and frustrating, right? I bet you don’t want to come off as such a person.

By truly listening and showing genuine interest in what others are saying, you can build better relationships. It shows respect and value for the other person’s thoughts and feelings.

As you age, this becomes increasingly important in maintaining strong connections with people around you.

So next time you’re in a conversation, lean in, make eye contact, and really listen. You might be amazed at how much more you understand and connect with others by using your two ears more than your one mouth.

4) Neglecting the power of body language

Body language is a significant aspect of communication that often gets overlooked, especially as we age. Did you know that nonverbal cues make up about 55% of our communication?

That’s right. Our body language, facial expressions, and gestures play a major role in how others perceive us and how well we connect with them.

It’s easy to become complacent about our body language, especially if we’re comfortable with the people around us. But if we want to improve our people skills, it’s important to be mindful of the signals we’re sending.

For instance, do you frequently cross your arms during a conversation? It might seem like a harmless habit, but to others, it could signal defensiveness or disinterest.

Similarly, maintaining eye contact can show that you’re engaged and interested in what the other person has to say. A warm smile can make you more approachable and likable.

So pay attention to your body language. It’s a silent yet powerful tool in enhancing your people skills and building stronger relationships as you age.

5) Avoiding tough conversations

As we age, we might find ourselves leaning towards comfort and avoiding discomfort. This includes tough conversations.

It’s natural to want to avoid conflict, but dodging difficult discussions can actually stunt the growth of your people skills.

These conversations are opportunities for growth and understanding. They allow us to address issues, clear misunderstandings, and deepen our relationships with others.

Yes, they can be uncomfortable, but they’re necessary for personal development and better communication.

I had a friend who used to avoid tough conversations at all costs. He thought it was easier to keep the peace rather than stir the pot.

But over time, his relationships suffered because issues were left unresolved.

Once he decided to face these conversations head-on, he noticed a significant improvement in his relationships. People respected him more for his honesty and courage to address difficult topics.

So don’t shy away from those tough conversations. Embrace them as opportunities for growth, and you’ll notice a significant improvement in your people skills over time.

6) Prioritizing talking over empathizing

It’s often tempting to think that improving people skills is all about enhancing our ability to speak eloquently and persuasively. But there’s a side to communication that’s as important, if not more so – the ability to empathize.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s about putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and seeing things from their perspective.

And as we age, this skill becomes even more critical in building strong, meaningful relationships.

I once knew a lady who was a fantastic speaker. She could captivate a room with her words, but she struggled to form deep connections with people.

Why? Because she was always so focused on what she was going to say next that she forgot to really listen and empathize with others.

When she realized this, she made a conscious effort to listen more and speak less. She started focusing on understanding people’s emotions and perspectives. And this change transformed her relationships.

Remember, communication isn’t just about talking; it’s about connecting.

And empathy is one of the most powerful tools for connection. So if you want to improve your people skills as you age, start prioritizing empathizing over talking.

7) Maintaining a one-size-fits-all approach

As we age, it’s natural to have a certain way of doing things – a comfort zone. This can extend to our interactions with others. We might find ourselves using the same conversation style or approach, regardless of who we’re interacting with.

However, people are different. They have unique personalities, communication styles, and preferences. What works for one person might not work for another.

If we want to improve our people skills, it’s crucial to adapt our approach based on the individual we’re interacting with.

I used to have a colleague who was great at this. He could talk to anyone and make them feel comfortable because he would adjust his communication style to match theirs.

He was observant and responsive, and this made him incredibly good at connecting with others.

The takeaway here is adaptability. Being able to adjust your communication style depending on who you’re talking to can significantly enhance your people skills.

So say goodbye to the one-size-fits-all approach and embrace adaptability in your interactions.

8) Overlooking the value of gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool for improving your people skills. It’s more than just saying ‘thank you’. It’s about acknowledging the efforts of others and showing appreciation.

It’s a small gesture, but it can have a massive impact on your relationships.

As we age, we sometimes take our relationships for granted. We assume that people know we appreciate them and we forget to express it explicitly.

But expressing gratitude can significantly enhance our connections with others.

I’ve seen this in my own life. I make it a point to express my appreciation to the people around me – colleagues, friends, family.

I’ve noticed that it not only makes people feel valued, but it also strengthens our relationship.

So if you want to improve your people skills as you age, don’t overlook the power of gratitude.

Make it a habit to express your appreciation and watch how it transforms your relationships.

Embracing the journey of improvement

If you’ve recognized some of these behaviors in your own interactions, don’t fret. Acknowledging these habits is the first step towards improving your people skills as you age.

Remember, we’re all works in progress, and change doesn’t happen overnight.

Begin by observing your interactions with others – are you truly listening? Are you showing empathy? Are you expressing gratitude?

Gradually, try to let go of these behaviors that might be holding you back.

Take inspiration from George Bernard Shaw’s famous quote, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

The same applies to our social interactions. Don’t let age limit your ability to connect with others. Instead, use it as an opportunity to refine, improve and deepen those connections.

With patience, practice and a bit of courage, you can say goodbye to these behaviors and welcome a new era of enriched relationships and improved people skills.

Embrace this journey with an open heart and mind, and see the difference it makes in your life.