We’ve all run into situations where someone’s response lacks warmth or genuine concern.
It can happen in any relationship, but there’s a particular set of phrases some men use that hints at a deeper issue with empathy.
These words, on the surface, might seem casual or harmless.
Yet they often reveal an inability — or unwillingness — to truly understand someone else’s feelings.
Below are 8 phrases commonly heard from men who struggle with empathy.
If you recognize any of these statements in your interactions, it could be a sign to examine the deeper dynamics at play.
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
This statement can feel like a slap in the face. Instead of considering your feelings, the speaker brushes them off as an overreaction.
It shifts the blame onto you, implying that your emotional response is the real problem, not the behavior that triggered it.
I remember a conversation where a friend’s partner used this phrase repeatedly. Anytime she voiced discomfort about a joke or comment, he’d shrug and say, “You’re too sensitive.”
Over time, she started questioning whether she was truly overreacting or if her concerns were valid.
According to articles on Psychology Today, labeling someone “too sensitive” can stifle open communication, undermining the chance to address what’s really going on.
2. “That’s your problem, not mine.”
Here, the person detaches themselves from any responsibility for how their actions or words might affect you.
Even if they played a role in creating the situation, they set up a firm emotional boundary:
Your feelings are yours to manage alone.
This can be a telltale sign of low empathy because it disregards the concept that we impact those around us.
No one expects a man to solve every problem his partner or friend faces, but recognizing he can influence someone’s emotional state is part of healthy interpersonal dynamics.
When the response is “That’s your problem,” it sends a message that empathy—or even basic compassion—is off the table.
3. “I was just kidding—lighten up.”
Jokes can be a wonderful way to bond, but not when they’re at someone else’s expense or used to deflect serious issues.
Men who toss out hurtful remarks and then laugh them off as a “joke” can be dodging accountability.
A woman I know recalled how her partner often made fun of her appearance in front of friends, only to claim, “Relax, I’m joking.”
If she felt hurt, he’d label her reaction as humorless or uptight.
The thing is that repeated use of dismissive humor can indicate a lack of empathy, because the focus stays on the joke-teller’s comfort, never the recipient’s feelings.
4. “Stop overreacting.”
Similar to calling someone “too sensitive,” this phrase trivializes the other person’s emotional response.
It doesn’t try to figure out why they’re upset or whether the feelings are coming from a legitimate place.
Instead, it aims to shut down the conversation.
I’ve seen how this phrase can escalate a conflict in mere seconds.
When one person is genuinely distressed, hearing “stop overreacting” invalidates their emotions and can intensify frustration or sadness.
There’s no attempt at understanding — just a clear sign that empathy isn’t part of the equation.
5. “Well, if you can’t handle me, find someone else.”
This statement can come across as bold, but it often masks an unwillingness to compromise or self-reflect.
It says, in effect, “I’m not changing, and your feelings about my behavior aren’t my concern.” It’s a protective stance — pushing away responsibility by suggesting the other person should just leave if they don’t like it.
This attitude can be especially harmful in close relationships, where mutual understanding and effort are key.
A relationship rarely thrives on ultimatums.
Yet men who struggle with empathy might use lines like this to avoid deeper introspection or adjusting their behavior.
6. “I don’t have time for this drama.”
Labeling someone’s emotional needs or concerns as “drama” quickly dismisses them as unimportant. It says, “Your feelings are merely theatrics, and I refuse to engage.”
While it’s possible some situations really are dramatic, more often it’s a handy shortcut to avoid empathy.
We all get busy and overwhelmed, but relationships demand some emotional investment.
If a man consistently calls any conflict “drama,” it could be his way of sidestepping empathy altogether.
He’s effectively shutting down dialogue about what you’re going through, leaving you feeling silenced.
7. “I’m just telling you the truth.”
Honesty is important, but there’s a difference between straightforwardness and harshness. Men who lack empathy might hide cruelty behind the banner of “brutal honesty.”
They’ll say something hurtful, then justify it with “I’m just being real.”
The problem is, real empathy recognizes how words can wound, even if they hold some truth. The phrase “I’m just telling you the truth” often lacks the nuance of kindness.
Sometimes, delivering the truth gently is far more constructive.
When empathy is low, the speaker seldom bothers to soften the edges. They prioritize their own desire to speak plainly over the emotional impact on the listener.
8. “Why can’t you just move on?”
When something is bothering you — especially if it’s a deeper emotional concern — being told to “move on” can feel belittling.
It downplays the possibility that you need time, closure, or a caring ear.
Men who lack empathy may not want to dwell on uncomfortable topics, so they push for a quick resolution that suits them.
I’ve watched a friend struggle with leftover sadness from a personal loss, only to be told “You’re still stuck on that?” by someone close to her.
The dismissiveness stung more than the original grief. It was a clear sign that he couldn’t put himself in her shoes.
Healing and moving forward aren’t always simple tasks — empathetic people understand that, while those who lack empathy often default to “get over it.”
Conclusion
These eight phrases might seem mundane on the surface, but they can reveal a profound lack of compassion and understanding.
While everyone slips up occasionally (we’re human, after all), a pattern of using these lines suggests emotional distance and disregard for others’ feelings.
If you’re dealing with someone who repeatedly falls back on these expressions, you might feel unheard, minimized, or even manipulated into believing your emotions are invalid.
That’s not a recipe for a healthy connection — romantic, platonic, or otherwise.
Of course, people can learn to be more empathetic if they’re open to it. Sometimes, pointing out how these phrases come across can spark awareness.
Other times, professional counseling or communication workshops help close the empathy gap.
But if someone remains unwilling to consider the impact of their words, you might need to reassess how much energy you’re willing to invest.
Ultimately, everyone deserves relationships where they feel genuinely seen and respected—even during disagreements or tough moments.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
