I spent most of my twenties chasing an invisible checklist—one that wasn’t even mine.
I built my career the way I was “supposed to.” I made decisions that looked good on paper. I prioritized stability, reputation, and external validation.
And for a while, it worked. I had achievements to show for it. But beneath the surface, I felt disconnected from myself, constantly trying to meet expectations that weren’t aligned with who I truly was.
Eventually, I hit a breaking point. Letting go of what others expected from me wasn’t easy, but it was the only way forward. Now, I’m finally living life on my own terms—and thriving because of it.
1) Validation from others will never replace self-trust
For years, I measured my success by how others saw me. If people approved of my choices, I felt like I was on the right path. If they didn’t, I second-guessed everything.
The problem with living this way is that it keeps you stuck in a cycle of seeking external validation instead of trusting yourself. You end up making decisions based on what will impress others rather than what actually fulfills you.
Breaking free from this mindset wasn’t easy. It meant learning to trust my own instincts, even when they didn’t align with what others expected. But once I did, I realized how much power I had been giving away all those years.
Stop looking outside yourself for permission to live the life you want. Trust yourself—and move forward with confidence.
2) Success means nothing if it’s not your own
I used to believe that success had a universal definition—one that was built around status, achievement, and financial security.
So I followed the script, thinking that once I checked all the right boxes, I’d finally feel fulfilled.
But even as I hit milestones that should have made me happy, something always felt off. The achievements weren’t mine—they belonged to the expectations I had absorbed from society, family, and peers.
Real success isn’t about meeting external standards. It’s about defining what truly matters to you and having the courage to pursue it, even if it looks different from what others expect.
As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
3) Breaking free from expectations starts in your mind
The hardest part of living life on my own terms wasn’t the external changes—it was the mental shift.
For years, I carried beliefs that weren’t truly mine. Ideas about success, happiness, and purpose had been shaped by societal conditioning, not by my own truth. And breaking free from them required deep inner work.
That’s why I believe in the power of questioning the beliefs that hold us back. It’s exactly what the Free Your Mind masterclass with Rudá Iandê helps you do. Through powerful exercises, it guides you to recognize and release the conditioning that keeps you stuck in a life that doesn’t feel like your own.
If you’re ready to stop living by other people’s rules and start creating a life that’s truly yours, watch the masterclass here and take the first step toward mental and emotional freedom.
4) Unlearning is harder than learning
Letting go of other people’s expectations isn’t just about deciding to live differently. It’s about undoing years—sometimes decades—of conditioning that taught you what to believe, how to behave, and what to prioritize.
The truth is, unlearning is harder than learning. It forces you to question everything you once accepted as fact. It requires discomfort, self-confrontation, and a willingness to dismantle parts of yourself that no longer serve you.
Most people never do this work. They stay trapped in familiar patterns because breaking free feels too overwhelming. But if you want real freedom, there’s no way around it—you have to face the beliefs that are keeping you stuck.
So ask yourself: What’s one belief you’ve accepted your whole life that might not actually be true?
5) Freedom requires discipline
Living life on your own terms isn’t about doing whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s about making intentional choices—ones that align with your values, not just your impulses.
True freedom doesn’t come from avoiding structure; it comes from creating the right structure. It means setting boundaries, committing to what truly matters, and having the discipline to follow through.
Without that, you end up drifting—pulled in different directions by distractions, obligations, and other people’s expectations.
The more disciplined you are about what you allow into your life, the more freedom you actually create.
If you don’t take control of your time and energy, someone else will.
6) Discomfort is the price of growth
Most people avoid discomfort at all costs. They stay in jobs they hate, relationships that drain them, and routines that keep them stuck—all because change feels too uncertain, too risky.
But the truth is, if you’re not willing to be uncomfortable, you’re not going to grow. Every meaningful change in my life came with a period of doubt, fear, and struggle. Letting go of expectations meant stepping into the unknown, which was terrifying at times.
Eventually, I realized something: the discomfort of staying stuck is far worse than the discomfort of moving forward. The pain of living a life that isn’t yours will always outweigh the temporary fear of change.
If you’re feeling uncomfortable right now, it might not be a sign to stop—it might be proof that you’re actually on the right path.
7) Failure is a sign you’re doing something right
Failure used to feel like proof that I wasn’t good enough. Every setback made me question whether I was making the right choices. But looking back, I see that every failure was actually a step forward.
The people who never fail are usually the ones who never take real risks. They play it safe, follow the expected path, and avoid anything that might make them look bad. But playing it safe almost always means staying stuck.
When I started making choices based on what I truly wanted—rather than what was expected—I failed more than ever before. But each failure taught me something valuable and pushed me toward a life that actually felt like mine.
If you’re failing, it means you’re trying—and that’s more than most people will ever do.
8) The right people will support your growth
One of the hardest parts of stepping away from expectations is realizing that not everyone will understand your choices. Some people will doubt you. Others may even resist your growth because it challenges their own beliefs.
At first, this can feel isolating. You might question whether you’re making a mistake or if you should just go back to doing what’s “normal.”
But here’s what I’ve learned: The people who genuinely care about you will support your journey—even if they don’t fully understand it. And as you grow into your true self, you’ll naturally attract others who align with your values and vision.
Not everyone is meant to walk this path with you—and that’s okay. Let go of those who hold you back and make space for those who lift you up.
Living life on your own terms starts with your mindset
Stepping away from other people’s expectations isn’t just about changing your actions—it’s about changing how you think. Until you recognize and challenge the beliefs that have been shaping your choices, you’ll always feel pulled back into old patterns.
True freedom comes from taking full responsibility for your life. It means letting go of the need for validation, embracing discomfort as part of growth, and being willing to fail as you carve out your own path.
The more you align with who you truly are, the more fulfilling and meaningful your life becomes.
If you’re ready to break free from the conditioning that’s been holding you back, the Free Your Mind masterclass with Rudá Iandê is a powerful place to start. In this free training, Rudá guides you through exercises designed to help you release limiting beliefs and reconnect with your authentic self.
By questioning the stories you’ve been told and redefining success on your own terms, you can create a life that feels truly yours. Join the masterclass here and take the first step toward real freedom.
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