Hitting pause on a career to have kids is a deeply personal decision—but it’s not always as simple as pressing play again when you’re ready to return.
Many women find that stepping away from the workforce comes with unexpected challenges, not just in terms of job opportunities but in more subtle ways that affect confidence, identity, and even relationships.
Psychology tells us that these struggles are common, yet they often go unspoken. And recognizing them is the first step toward overcoming them.
Here are seven subtle yet significant issues women face when they put their careers on hold for motherhood—and what you can do about them.
1) Confidence doesn’t come back overnight
Taking time away from work to raise kids can be incredibly fulfilling—but returning to a professional setting after a long break can shake your confidence in ways you didn’t expect.
Even if you were once highly skilled in your field, it’s easy to start doubting yourself.
Have things changed too much? Are you still as capable as you once were? This self-doubt isn’t just in your head; psychology backs it up.
Albert Bandura, a renowned psychologist known for his work on self-efficacy, once said, “People’s beliefs about their abilities have a profound effect on those abilities.”
In other words, if you start questioning your competence, it can actually impact your performance.
That’s why rebuilding confidence takes time. The key is to ease back in, remind yourself of your strengths, and take small wins where you can. Confidence isn’t something you either have or don’t—it’s something you rebuild, one step at a time.
2) Returning to work feels like starting from scratch
No one really prepares you for how humbling it can be to step back into the workforce after time away.
I remember staring at my resume, realizing it hadn’t been updated in years. My once-impressive list of accomplishments suddenly felt outdated. Job descriptions were filled with new buzzwords I didn’t recognize.
And worst of all? I had this sinking feeling that I had to prove myself all over again—like everything I’d done before pressing pause somehow didn’t count anymore.
Psychologist Carol Dweck, known for her work on mindset, once said, “Becoming is better than being.”
In other words, growth comes from embracing the process—even when it’s uncomfortable. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.
Rebuilding a career after a break isn’t just about updating your skills; it’s about reminding yourself (and sometimes others) that you still bring value. And while it might feel like you’re starting from scratch, you’re not—you’re starting from experience.
3) Guilt shows up in unexpected ways
I expected to feel guilty when I first stepped away from my career—I worried about losing momentum, about whether I was making the right choice.
But what I didn’t expect was the guilt that hit me when I started thinking about going back.
Suddenly, I questioned everything. Would my kids feel abandoned? Was I being selfish for wanting a career again? It felt like no matter what I chose, part of me would always feel like I was letting someone down.
This kind of guilt isn’t just personal—it’s cultural. Psychologist Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility.”
And that’s exactly what this guilt is: the weight of responsibility, of knowing that every choice comes with trade-offs.
But here’s what I’ve learned: You can love your children and love your career. You can be present as a parent and ambitious as a professional. Guilt will come and go, but it doesn’t have to control your decisions.
4) Support doesn’t always come from where you expect
You’d think that the people closest to you—friends, family, even other parents—would be your biggest cheerleaders when you decide to return to work. But sometimes, the most surprising thing is realizing that not everyone gets it.
Some well-meaning friends questioned whether I really needed to go back.
A family member casually suggested that since I had “managed without a career for this long,” maybe I didn’t need one. Even other moms—people I thought would understand—sometimes made comments that left me second-guessing myself.
Psychologist Abraham Maslow, known for his hierarchy of needs, once said, “In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”
And that’s the thing—when you choose to re-enter the workforce, you’re stepping into growth. Not everyone will understand that, and that’s okay.
The real support often comes from unexpected places—former colleagues who welcome you back, mentors who remind you of your strengths, or even new connections who see your value right away.
The key is to find the people who do support your journey and lean into them.
5) Your skills are still there—but self-doubt tries to convince you otherwise
After years away from work, I worried that I had fallen behind.
Technology had changed, industries had evolved, and I wasn’t sure if I could keep up. Even though I knew I had years of experience, a little voice in my head kept whispering, “What if you’re not as good as you used to be?”
This is classic imposter syndrome—the feeling that you’re not as competent as others think you are, even when there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary.
Psychologist Dr. Valerie Young, an expert on imposter syndrome, explains it perfectly: “The only way to stop feeling like an imposter is to stop thinking like an imposter.”
In reality, skills don’t just disappear. They might get a little rusty, but they’re still there. And the best way to silence self-doubt is to take action—start small, remind yourself of past successes, and trust that competence comes back with practice.
6) Work-life balance feels different the second time around
Before I had kids, I thought I understood work-life balance. I had busy days, long hours, and the occasional struggle to unplug—but it was nothing compared to what I felt when I returned to work as a parent.
This time, “balance” wasn’t just about managing my schedule—it was about managing my energy, my priorities, and the constant pull between being present at work and being present at home. No matter where I was, part of me felt like I should be somewhere else.
The psychologist Donald Winnicott once said, “There is no such thing as a perfect parent—only a good-enough parent.”
And honestly, the same applies to work-life balance. It will never be perfect. Some days, your career will need more of you. Other days, your family will. The key is learning to accept that balance isn’t about perfection—it’s about flexibility.
7) Success feels different than it used to
Before I had kids, success had a clear definition—promotions, raises, big projects, recognition. It was all about climbing the ladder.
But after stepping away and coming back, I realized that what once motivated me didn’t quite feel the same anymore.
I didn’t want to work just to prove I could. I didn’t want to chase titles that no longer felt meaningful. And honestly? That scared me. Had I lost my ambition? Or had I just outgrown the version of success I once believed in?
Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
And that’s what I had to do—accept that my definition of success had changed. It wasn’t about constantly pushing for more; it was about finding work that felt fulfilling and aligned with the life I wanted now.
Success after a career break isn’t about picking up where you left off—it’s about redefining what truly matters.
Final thoughts
While stepping away from a career for motherhood presents subtle yet significant challenges, it also offers a unique opportunity for growth and self-discovery.
The journey back into the workforce may feel like starting over—rebuilding confidence, redefining your professional identity, and managing new work-life dynamics—but it’s also a chance to reassess what success truly means to you.
Embracing these changes with patience, self-compassion, and the support of those who understand your path can transform uncertainty into a meaningful evolution, one that honors both your personal and professional aspirations.
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