8 ways to be more pleasant to be around—especially when you’re in a bad mood

When someone’s smiling, you know they’re pleasant. When they’re frowning, well, you might want to steer clear. That’s the basics of social interaction.

But hey, we all have bad days. The trick is to not let those bad days affect how others perceive us.

Here’s the deal: some folks seem to have a knack for this. Regardless of what’s going on in their lives, they manage to stay approachable and likeable.

And it’s not some inborn charm—they have simply mastered the art of being pleasant, even when the odds are stacked against them.

So, how do they do it? Well, they usually follow these 8 specific strategies. Let’s dive in and find out what they are.

1) Embrace the power of positivity

Have you ever noticed how a single negative thought can spiral out of control and ruin your whole day?

Well, the same applies to our interactions with others. If we’re stuck in a bad mood, it’s easy to let it bleed into our conversations, making us less pleasant to be around.

But here’s the good news: just as one negative thought can cast a shadow on your day, a single positive thought can light it right back up.

How do you harness this power, especially when you’re feeling down?

Simple. You consciously shift your mindset. You focus on the positive aspects of your life, work, or situation—no matter how small they may seem.

This shift doesn’t just brighten your mood; it changes the energy you bring into any room, making you more pleasant to be around.

And yes, it takes practice. But remember, every journey starts with a single step. And this step could be as simple as reminding yourself of something positive each morning when you wake up.

After all, technology isn’t the only thing that needs an upgrade now and then; our mindsets could use a little reboot too!

2) Practice patience

We’ve all been there. The day’s been long, things haven’t gone as planned, and patience is running thin.

I remember one particular day when I was dealing with a frustrating software glitch that was hindering my work progress. I was grumpy, to say the least.

And then, a colleague walked in, asking for help with a project. My initial instinct? Snap at them for adding to my pile of woes.

But then, I took a deep breath and reminded myself: this wasn’t their fault. They didn’t cause the glitch; they were just looking for assistance.

So, I put on a smile and agreed to help. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely the right thing to do. And guess what? Helping them actually took my mind off my own problems and ultimately put me in a better mood.

Practicing patience, especially when you’re in a bad mood, can be challenging. But it’s also incredibly rewarding.

Not only does it make you more pleasant to be around, but it also helps you grow as an individual—and as a professional.

3) Embrace active listening

Ever have a conversation with someone who’s clearly not paying attention? It’s frustrating, isn’t it? On the flip side, when someone genuinely listens to us, we feel valued and understood.

Now, here’s something you might not know: according to research published in the Harvard Business Review, the average person only remembers about 25% of what they hear after a two-day period.

This means that if we’re not actively listening—making a conscious effort to understand and remember the information—we’re missing out on a significant portion of our conversations.

And this can make us less pleasant to be around.

How do we become better listeners? It starts with being fully present in the conversation, showing genuine interest in what the other person is saying, and providing thoughtful responses that show you’re engaged.

It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how others perceive you, especially when you’re in a bad mood.

4) Keep your promises

Trust is a valuable currency in any relationship, be it personal or professional. And one of the simplest ways to earn trust is by keeping your promises.

Now, this might sound like a no-brainer, but think about it. When you’re in a bad mood, it’s easy to let things slide, isn’t it? To shrug off commitments or push responsibilities onto someone else.

But here’s the thing: when you keep your promises, even when you’re not feeling your best, you show others that they can rely on you.

Next time you’re tempted to back out of a commitment because you’re in a mood, remember this: consistency breeds trust.

And being someone that others can trust will always make you more pleasant to be around.

Sure, it might not always be easy, but then again, nothing worthwhile ever is.

5) Practice gratitude

In my own experience, I’ve found that one of the most effective ways to lift my mood is by practicing gratitude. It’s a simple exercise that can transform your outlook on life.

When I’m in a bad mood, I take a moment to reflect on the things I’m grateful for—my health, my friends, the roof over my head, or even something as simple as my morning cup of coffee.

It helps me put things into perspective and realize that despite whatever is bringing me down, there’s still plenty to be thankful for.

By expressing gratitude, not only do I shift my focus from the negative to the positive, but I also radiate a more positive energy to those around me. And trust me, people pick up on that.

So next time you’re in a bad mood, take a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for. It might just make you—and those around you—feel a whole lot better.

6) Allow yourself to be vulnerable

Contrary to what we might instinctively believe, showing our vulnerability can actually make us more pleasant to be around.

In a society that often encourages us to put on a brave face, admitting that we’re having a tough day can seem daunting. But it’s also incredibly liberating.

By being open about our feelings, we not only give ourselves permission to be human, but we also invite others to do the same.

It creates a sense of shared understanding and connection, which can foster stronger relationships.

The next time you’re in a bad mood, don’t hide it. Of course, that doesn’t mean you should take out your frustrations on others.

Instead, let them know you’re having a tough day. You’ll be surprised at how understanding and supportive people can be when you’re honest about your feelings.

7) Maintain a balanced perspective

When we’re in a bad mood, it’s easy to let negative thoughts take over. Suddenly, everything seems worse than it actually is, and minor annoyances become major problems.

Maintaining a balanced perspective is key to managing these feelings and being more pleasant to be around. This means recognizing that bad moods are temporary and don’t define our entire reality.

So, the next time you’re in a bad mood, try to take a step back. Look at the bigger picture and remind yourself that it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

This simple shift in perspective can make you more resilient and easier to be around, even when things aren’t going your way.

8) Be kind to yourself

The most important thing to remember when you’re in a bad mood? Be kind to yourself.

Remember, it’s okay to feel down. It’s okay to have off days. What matters is how you handle these moments and how you treat yourself during them.

Instead of dwelling on negative feelings, treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

When you’re kind to yourself, it becomes easier to extend that kindness to others, making you more pleasant to be around.

Give yourself permission to feel your emotions without judgment. Practice self-care, do things that make you happy, and remember: this too shall pass.

Embracing the journey

If you’ve made it this far, it’s clear you’re committed to being a more pleasant person to be around, even when you’re in a bad mood. And that’s something worth celebrating.

Remember, being pleasant isn’t about pretending everything is fine when it’s not. It’s about managing your emotions in a way that respects both your feelings and those of the people around you.

Each of the strategies we’ve discussed is a step on this journey, and it’s important to remember that it is indeed a journey. There will be days when it’s harder than others, and that’s okay.

As Carl Jung once said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”

It can be scary to accept our bad moods and the impact they can have on others. But, by doing so, we open the door to growth and improvement.

As you move forward, remember to be patient with yourself. Celebrate your progress. And most importantly, remember that being pleasant to be around starts with being kind to yourself.