When someone is emotionally strong, you can tell by their actions.
They don’t chase love, it’s as if they have a secret code for living that sidesteps the heartache so many of us face.
It seems simple, but dig a little deeper and you’ll see it’s not so straightforward.
Emotional strength isn’t born overnight—it’s built from resilience, grit, and a different approach to life.
Some people seem to have cracked this code.
They’re not just surviving in this fast-paced, technology-driven world we live in—they’re thriving.
And the secret? They don’t chase love but, instead, they do these eight other things.
It’s about understanding the complexity of emotions and using that knowledge to navigate through life in a more balanced way.
Trust me, it’s not as hard as it sounds.
Join me as we explore these eight things emotionally strong people do instead of chasing love:
1) They practice self-love
Emotionally strong individuals understand that love is not just an outward emotion, it’s also about self-love.
They don’t seek validation or love from others because they’re already filled with it—self-love, that is.
They’ve worked on themselves, embraced their flaws, and understood their worth.
And in doing so, they have built a strong emotional framework that doesn’t need constant reinforcement from others.
This does not mean they are self-centered or narcissistic.
On the contrary, they are often humble and grounded, knowing that their worth is not dependent on external factors.
Instead of chasing love, they spend time nurturing their own emotional health and wellbeing.
They focus on personal growth and development, which in turn makes them more resilient to life’s ups and downs.
It’s a subtle shift in perspective—from seeking love externally to nurturing love internally—but it makes all the difference in the world.
2) They establish healthy boundaries
One thing I’ve noticed about emotionally strong individuals is their ability to set healthy boundaries.
I learned this the hard way.
There was a time in my life when I allowed people to overstep their mark because I was afraid of confrontation.
I was always the one to compromise, to step back, to let others have their way—even when it took a toll on my emotional wellbeing.
But then I met Alex, a friend who was emotionally strong and had a different outlook on relationships.
Alex didn’t chase love or approval—instead, he established clear boundaries that protected his emotional space.
He once told me, “Setting boundaries isn’t about keeping people out, it’s about making sure you’re not sacrificing your wellbeing for the sake of others.”
Taking a leaf from Alex’s book, I began setting my own boundaries—saying no when needed, taking time for myself, and not letting others’ emotions dictate my own.
It wasn’t easy at first, but with time it became second nature.
Now, instead of feeling drained from always giving, I feel more balanced and in control of my emotions.
3) They don’t fear being alone
Emotionally strong individuals have a unique relationship with solitude.
Instead of fearing it, they embrace it.
They understand that solitude isn’t synonymous with loneliness—it’s an opportunity for self-reflection, growth, and getting in touch with their inner selves.
It’s a time to recharge and find peace within their own company.
Contrary to popular belief, being comfortable in one’s own company is actually a sign of emotional strength and maturity.
Instead of chasing love or constantly seeking the company of others, emotionally strong people are perfectly content with their own company.
It’s in these quiet moments of solitude that they often find their greatest strength and clarity.
4) They accept change with grace
Change is constant, and emotionally strong individuals know this better than anyone else.
Instead of resisting change or fearing the unknown, they embrace it.
They understand that change is a part of life—a necessary element for growth and evolution.
Whether it’s a change in their personal life, their professional environment, or even in their relationships, they’re not easily thrown off balance.
They adapt, they grow, and sometimes, they even initiate change if it means bettering their situation or themselves.
This doesn’t mean they don’t feel fear or uncertainty—they do—but they refuse to let those feelings dictate their actions or decisions.
Rather than chasing love or holding onto relationships that no longer serve them, they are willing to let go and move forward.
They understand that sometimes, change means creating space for something—or someone—new and better to come into their lives.
5) They understand the importance of emotional resilience
When I think of emotionally strong people, I think of resilience.
It’s an essential trait that allows them to bounce back from adversity and keep going, no matter what life throws at them.
In my journey towards emotional strength, I’ve learned that resilience is not about avoiding hardships or pretending they don’t exist.
It’s about facing them head-on, acknowledging the pain, and then moving forward.
I remember going through a particularly rough patch in my life—a heartbreak that felt like the end of the world.
But then, as I slowly began to pick up the pieces, I realized something important: I was stronger than I had ever given myself credit for.
Instead of chasing after lost love or dwelling on what could have been, I focused on healing and growing from the experience.
I learned to channel my energy towards things that truly mattered—my personal growth, my dreams, my happiness.
That was when I truly understood the power of emotional resilience.
It’s not about being unaffected by pain—it’s about experiencing it, learning from it, and then rising above it.
Emotionally strong people know this—they don’t shy away from pain or hardship.
Instead, they use it as fuel for growth and transformation.
6) They’re not afraid to show vulnerability
Contrary to what you might think, emotionally strong people aren’t always stoic or unemotional.
In fact, they often allow themselves to be vulnerable and open about their feelings.
They understand that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of courage.
It shows that they’re secure enough in themselves to openly express their feelings, even if it means risking getting hurt or criticized.
Instead of hiding their emotions or pretending to be okay when they’re not, they express their feelings honestly and authentically.
They know that it’s okay to feel pain, sadness, fear, or any other emotion that comes their way.
By showing vulnerability, they’re acknowledging their emotions rather than suppressing them.
They’re giving themselves permission to heal, to grow, and to become stronger.
7) They prioritize mental health
Emotionally strong people understand the importance of mental health.
They know that emotional strength is closely linked to mental wellbeing, and they prioritize maintaining a healthy mental state.
Instead of disregarding their feelings or brushing off their mental health, they actively work on improving it.
They might practice mindfulness, engage in regular physical exercise, seek therapy when necessary, or utilize other proven methods to enhance their mental wellbeing; they understand that strong mental health is a prerequisite for dealing with life’s challenges effectively.
It helps them make sound decisions, maintain healthy relationships, and lead a fulfilling life.
Instead of chasing love or seeking validation from external sources, they focus on maintaining their mental health.
Emotionally strong people know that taking care of their mental health isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength and self-care.
8) They find happiness within themselves
At the end of the day, emotionally strong people understand one fundamental truth: true happiness comes from within.
They don’t rely on others for their happiness nor do they chase after love in the hope of finding fulfillment.
Rather, they find contentment and joy within themselves.
They build a life they love, pursue their passions, and strive to be the best versions of themselves; they realize that they are in control of their own happiness, and they take this responsibility seriously.
By finding happiness within themselves, they’re not only emotionally stronger but also more attractive to others.
Embracing emotional strength
If you’ve come this far, it’s likely you’ve started to see the power in emotional strength.
It’s not about being unfeeling or detached, but about understanding and managing your emotions in a healthier and more empowering way.
Emotional strength isn’t about disregarding love or neglecting relationships.
Instead, it’s about finding fulfillment within yourself and not relying on external factors for your happiness or self-worth.
As psychologist and author Dr. Susan David once said, “Life’s beauty is inseparable from its fragility”.
They embrace life with all its ups and downs, knowing that their strength comes from within.
The next time you find yourself chasing after love or seeking validation from others, remember—it’s not about finding the right person, but about being the right person.
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