We all know that internal struggle – the one where you put on a brave face, even when things are falling apart inside.
As a man, society often expects you to be the unshakeable rock, the stoic figurehead, even when you’re crumbling within.
But there are subtle signs that give away this façade. In the following article, we’ll be exploring these seven subtle behaviors often displayed by men who may seem fine on the outside, but are secretly struggling on the inside.
This isn’t just about understanding others better; it’s about empathy and support, and it’s about equipping ourselves with the knowledge to help those around us – and maybe even ourselves.
After all, a supportive team makes for a stronger business and a stronger self. So let’s dive in, shall we?
1) Uncharacteristic isolation
Men are often perceived as stoic, independent creatures. But there’s a fine line between healthy independence and uncharacteristic isolation.
This is one of the first telltale signs of a man who is presenting a brave front while internally battling his demons. When things get tough, he may pull back and avoid social interactions, even with close friends and family.
Think about it. It’s a defense mechanism, a way to avoid confronting the emotional turmoil they’re experiencing. By isolating themselves, they can maintain the illusion of being okay even when they’re not.
But remember, it’s not just about identifying these behaviors. It’s about understanding them and reaching out with a supportive hand.
After all, even the most resilient of us need a shoulder to lean on sometimes. It’s what makes us human – and it’s what makes our businesses and personal lives stronger in the long run.
2) Overcompensation in work
Sometimes, when a man is internally struggling, he might channel his energy into one thing he feels he can control – his work. I’ve seen it firsthand.
I had a friend, John, who was always the life of the party, but when he suddenly found himself dealing with a painful divorce, things changed.
He began working longer hours, often staying late at the office and working weekends. He was pouring all his energy into his job and projects.
On the surface, it seemed like John was thriving professionally.
But knowing him as I did, I knew that this overcompensation was a cover for the pain he was dealing with. His work became his escape, a way to avoid dealing with his feelings about the divorce.
It’s important to recognize this behavior for what it is – a diversion tactic. It’s not a sign of ambition or dedication but an indication that they might be dealing with something much more profound.
Again, it’s about understanding these signs and reaching out when you notice them. After all, we’re all in this journey together.
3) Increased irritability
It’s natural to have off days, where we’re a bit more sensitive or irritable than usual. But when you notice a usually calm and composed man becoming increasingly irritable, it might be a sign of a deeper internal struggle.
A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology found that men, in particular, tend to express their depression as anger and irritability.
Instead of expressing sadness or hopelessness, they might lash out or become frustrated over minor things.
This change in behavior can be disorienting to those around them, leading to misunderstandings and strained relationships.
Recognizing this as a possible sign of internal distress, rather than character flaw, can help promote empathy and understanding. Remember, it’s not about judging – it’s about extending a helping hand when it’s needed most.
4) Changes in sleep patterns
Sleep is one of the first things to be disrupted when we’re dealing with emotional turmoil. It’s no different for men who are struggling internally.
Either they sleep too much, trying to escape from their troubles in the refuge of slumber, or they battle insomnia, their minds racing with worries and anxieties that refuse to let them rest.
If you notice that a usually well-rested man is suddenly constantly tired, or if he mentions having trouble sleeping, it might be more than just a bad night’s rest. It could be a sign of his internal struggle.
Understanding these subtle changes can make all the difference in reaching out and offering support.
After all, everyone deserves a good night’s sleep – and sometimes, that can only come with the peace of mind that they’re not alone in their struggles.
5) Loss of interest in hobbies
Remember the joy of getting lost in a hobby, whether it’s fishing, reading, or even coding? As a tech enthusiast myself, there’s nothing like the thrill of cracking a complex code or the satisfaction of solving a tricky tech problem.
But when I went through a tough period in my life, even these activities that I usually loved felt like chores. It was as if the color had been drained from everything enjoyable.
This loss of interest in hobbies can be a subtle sign that a man is grappling with internal issues.
When the activities they once loved no longer bring them joy or seem like too much effort, it may indicate they’re not just burnt out – they could be falling apart inside.
Recognizing this can provide you with an opportunity to reach out, maybe even reignite that spark by participating in these hobbies together. After all, shared experiences can often help bridge the gap created by emotional struggles.
6) Neglected personal care
Personal grooming and care can seem trivial in the grand scheme of things. But when a man who usually takes pride in his appearance suddenly doesn’t seem to care, it could be more than just laziness.
Neglecting personal care, like not shaving as often, ignoring personal hygiene, or wearing the same clothes repeatedly, can be a subtle indication of an internal struggle.
It’s as if the energy required to take care of themselves is just too much to muster.
Spotting this behavior is crucial because it provides an opportunity to gently check in and offer support.
After all, helping each other at our lowest points is what strengthens our bonds, both on a personal and professional level.
7) Unusual emotional outbursts
Emotions are a part of being human. But when a man who is usually composed has sudden emotional outbursts, it’s worth taking note.
These outbursts can take many forms – from tearful breakdowns to bursts of anger. It’s as if the pressure inside them becomes too much, and it needs an outlet.
This is probably one of the most visible signs of an internal struggle. And it’s also one of the most important to address. Because when emotions run high, it’s clear that they’re not just “pretending to be okay” – they’re crying out for help.
And sometimes, all we need to do is answer that call.
Final thought: It’s about empathy
Understanding the internal struggles of men who pretend to be okay is not merely about identifying signs and symptoms.
It’s about empathy. It’s about normalizing the conversation around mental health, particularly for men who are often encouraged to hide their emotions.
A quote often attributed to Plato goes, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
This rings especially true for those who are struggling internally while maintaining a facade of strength.
The signs we’ve discussed – from isolation and overwork to emotional outbursts – they’re not just behaviors. They’re cries for understanding, compassion, and support.
As we navigate our personal and professional lives, let’s remember this. Let’s remember to extend a hand of support, a listening ear, or even just a silent presence. Because sometimes, that’s all it takes to make a world of difference.
Remember, it’s not just about being the best version of ourselves. It’s about helping others become the best versions of themselves too. After all, we’re all in this together.
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