There’s much to be said about social intelligence.
It’s not just about being friendly or a smooth talker, but rather how well you understand and navigate social situations.
Observing someone’s behavior can tell you a lot about their level of social intelligence.
It’s the little things they do, the small gestures and nuances, that truly reveal how socially savvy they are.
In this article, I’ll highlight seven subtle behaviors that can give you insight into someone’s true social intelligence.
These are behaviors that may seem insignificant at first glance, but they speak volumes about a person’s ability to interact effectively and empathetically with others.
Whether you’re trying to read your new business partner or an employee, these behaviors can provide valuable clues.
Let’s dive in and discover what social intelligence really looks like:
1) Active listening
Social intelligence isn’t just about how well you speak, but also how well you listen.
In conversations, you’ll often find people who are merely waiting for their turn to talk.
They’re not truly engaged in the conversation, they’re just thinking about how they will respond.
But someone with high social intelligence does the opposite: They truly listen.
They show genuine interest in what the other person has to say; they engage with thoughtful questions and comments, rather than just waiting for their turn to speak.
Active listening is a sign of respect.
It shows that you value the other person’s opinion and perspective and, in a business setting, active listening can help build stronger relationships with colleagues and clients.
2) Emotional awareness
Being in tune with your own emotions, as well as those of others, is a key aspect of social intelligence.
I remember a time when I was leading a project at work.
One of my team members, usually a high performer, was struggling.
His work was slipping and he seemed disengaged.
Rather than chastising him for his performance, I took the time to check in with him privately.
He opened up about some personal issues he was dealing with.
By acknowledging and empathizing with his situation, we were able to find a solution that worked for everyone.
His performance improved and our professional relationship was strengthened.
This experience taught me that understanding emotions is about recognizing feelings—both your own and others’—and managing them effectively.
This emotional awareness not only helps in building strong relationships but also aids in navigating complex social situations.
3) Reading non-verbal cues
It’s not just about the words we say, but how we say it.
Body language, facial expressions, gestures—these non-verbal cues often communicate more than our words do.
Research indicates that a whopping 55% of our communication is non-verbal.
That’s a significant percentage of communication that doesn’t involve any words at all.
Someone with high social intelligence has a keen ability to read and interpret these non-verbal signals.
They notice if someone’s smile doesn’t reach their eyes, or if a colleague is tense and crossing their arms during a meeting; they use these subtle cues to understand what someone might really be thinking or feeling, even if their words are saying something different.
Reading between the lines helps them navigate social situations more effectively and respond in a way that shows understanding and empathy.
4) Respect for others’ boundaries
Understanding and respecting others’ boundaries is a subtle yet powerful demonstration of social intelligence.
This involves recognizing the invisible lines that people draw around themselves for comfort and privacy.
A socially intelligent person respects these boundaries.
They don’t push people to share more than they’re comfortable with, or overstep with their own sharing; they understand that everyone has different comfort levels in various situations and respects that.
In a professional setting, this could mean not pushing a colleague to divulge personal matters or understanding when a client prefers to keep communication strictly business-related.
By showing respect for others’ boundaries, they foster trust and build stronger relationships.
5) Adaptability
Being socially intelligent also means being adaptable; it’s about adjusting your behavior and communication style to fit different situations and people.
I once worked with a team that had a diverse range of personalities and backgrounds.
Some were introverted and preferred written communication, while others were extroverts who thrived in face-to-face interactions—interacting with each of them required a different approach.
I had to adapt my communication style depending on who I was dealing with.
With the introverts, I ensured I gave them time to process information and respond in their own time; with the extroverts, I engaged more in person, knowing they appreciated the direct interaction.
This adaptability allowed me to connect effectively with each team member, fostering a positive working relationship with everyone.
It’s a constant learning process, but being adaptable is crucial in demonstrating social intelligence.
6) Being inclusive
Inclusivity is another key behavior that reveals high social intelligence—making sure everyone feels seen, heard, and valued.
A socially intelligent person makes an effort to include everyone in a conversation or activity.
They don’t just focus on those who are most vocal or assertive but ensure that quieter or less confident individuals also get a chance to contribute.
In a business setting, this can mean encouraging all team members to share their ideas during a meeting or ensuring that everyone in a diverse team feels comfortable and respected.
Inclusivity not only fosters a sense of belonging and unity, but it also brings out the best in people, allowing for a wider range of ideas and perspectives.
7) Empathy
At the heart of social intelligence lies empathy.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, to put yourself in their shoes, allowing us to connect with others on a deeper level.
It helps us understand their perspectives, even if they differ from our own.
Empathy can lead to more effective communication, better teamwork, and stronger relationships in a work environment.
It enables us to respond in a way that shows understanding and care, leading to more meaningful and productive interactions.
Having and showing empathy isn’t just about understanding others’ feelings, but about demonstrating that understanding through our actions.
Understanding the complexity
The nuances of human interaction and social intelligence are deeply entwined with the myriad complexities of our minds.
Whether it’s active listening, reading non-verbal cues, respecting boundaries, or demonstrating empathy, these seemingly small behaviors are possible indicators of a highly socially intelligent individual.
The underlying neurology might be enhancing their social interactions, helping them build stronger relationships, navigate complex social situations, and ultimately succeed in their personal and professional lives.
It’s a fascinating field of study, revealing the profound depths of our social beings; it’s also a reminder of the power we hold in our interactions with others—a power that can transform relationships, foster inclusivity, and ultimately shape our world for the better.
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