7 behaviors of parents who set their kids up for success and happiness, according to psychology

As a parent, your ultimate goal is probably to set your kids up for a lifetime of success and happiness.

According to psychology, achieving this is less about what you give your kids and more about the behaviors you model.

You see, children are like sponges. They absorb everything they see and hear, including how their parents act and react.

This is why modeling the right behaviors can often be the key to raising successful and happy kids.

But what exactly are these ‘right behaviors’? Well, that’s what we’re here to explore today.

Here are seven behaviors that successful parents often exhibit, according to the latest psychological studies.

Remember, this isn’t about perfection, but rather about progress and leading by example.

So get ready for some enlightening insights that could make a real difference in your parenting journey.

1) Leading by example

When it comes to raising successful and happy kids, actions often speak louder than words. This is the principle of leading by example.

The fact is, your children are constantly watching you. They’re observing how you handle stress, how you interact with others, and even how you manage your time.

And whether you realize it or not, they’re likely to emulate these behaviors.

As famed psychologist Albert Bandura once said, “Most human behavior is learned observationally through modeling.” So if we want our children to embody positive traits such as resilience, empathy, and integrity, we need to demonstrate these behaviors ourselves.

It’s not enough to tell your kids about the importance of hard work or kindness. You need to show them.

When they see you working hard, treating others with respect, and facing challenges with grace, they’re more likely to adopt these behaviors.

Leading by example isn’t about being perfect. It’s about striving to be the best person you can be and showing your kids that it’s okay to make mistakes along the way.

2) Embracing mistakes and failures

As a parent, I’ve always believed in the power of learning from mistakes and failures. This is a belief that I try to instill in my own children.

Let me share a personal story. A few months back, my daughter was working on an art project for school. She had spent several hours on it and was quite proud of her work.

However, just as she was about to finish, she accidentally spilled water all over her painting. She was devastated.

Instead of allowing her to wallow in disappointment, I used this as an opportunity to teach her about resilience.

I explained how mistakes and failures are not the end of the world, but rather opportunities to learn and grow.

I wanted my daughter to understand that even though her art project didn’t turn out as planned, she could learn from this experience and use it to improve on her future projects.

Sure enough, she picked up her brushes the next day and started over, this time using a new technique she had thought of the previous night. In the end, her painting turned out even better than the first one.

This is just one example of how embracing mistakes and failures can foster resilience and growth.

It’s not about preventing your kids from making mistakes, it’s about teaching them how to handle these situations when they arise.

3) Providing unconditional love and support

Have you ever felt the weight of expectations bearing down on you? I’m sure we all have.

It’s an intense pressure that can often lead to stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure. Now imagine a child feeling this weight. It doesn’t paint a pretty picture, does it?

As parents, our role is not to pile on expectations, but to provide unconditional love and support. It’s about letting our kids know that they are loved for who they are, not for their achievements or how they measure up against others.

Abraham Maslow, a renowned psychologist, once said, “What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.” By demonstrating unconditional love and acceptance, we can help our kids develop a positive self-image.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t encourage them to strive for success or push their boundaries. But it’s crucial that we make sure they know our love and support are not contingent on their performance.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about grades or trophies. It’s about raising children who are confident, compassionate, and happy with who they are.

Raw truth? Unconditional love might just be the most important ingredient in the recipe for raising successful and happy kids.

4) Encouraging independence and self-reliance

One of the key factors in raising successful and happy children is fostering a sense of independence and self-reliance.

This doesn’t mean leaving your kids to fend for themselves, but rather teaching them the skills they need to navigate the world on their own.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who had been encouraged to be independent during childhood were more likely to succeed in their careers and have higher levels of life satisfaction.

In the study, children who were given opportunities to make decisions, solve problems, and show initiative developed a stronger sense of self-efficacy – a belief in one’s ability to achieve goals.

As these children grew up, this sense of self-efficacy translated into career success and personal happiness.

So how can we encourage independence? It can start with small tasks like letting your child pack their own lunch or choose their clothes for the day.

As they grow older, these tasks can evolve into larger responsibilities like managing their time or making decisions about their education.

By encouraging independence, we’re not just setting our kids up for success; we’re equipping them with the confidence and self-belief they need to lead fulfilling lives.

5) Prioritizing open communication

In my own parenting journey, one thing I’ve learned is the importance of open communication.

It’s not always easy, especially when dealing with tough subjects, but it’s an essential part of building strong relationships and fostering mutual respect.

Psychologist and author Daniel Goleman once said, “In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels.” This highlights the need for emotional intelligence in our interactions, especially with our children.

Open communication isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening. It’s about being present and genuinely interested in what your child has to say.

It’s about creating a safe space where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or dismissal.

Whether it’s discussing their day at school, addressing a problem they’re facing, or delving into their dreams and aspirations, maintaining open lines of communication can aid in building trust and understanding.

By doing this, we teach our kids that their voice matters and that they can approach us with anything that’s on their mind.

6) Allowing for boredom

This may sound counterintuitive, but allowing your children to experience boredom can actually be beneficial for their development.

In our fast-paced, entertainment-heavy world, it’s easy to think that kids should always be engaged, always be ‘doing’ something. But that’s not necessarily the case.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Boredom… is a vital problem for the moralist, since at least half the sins of mankind are caused by the fear of it.” What Jung understood was that in the absence of constant stimulation, we are forced to engage with ourselves and our environment in a more meaningful way.

When kids are left to their own devices, they’re compelled to tap into their creativity and imagination. They learn to make their own fun, solve their own problems, and become more self-reliant.

So instead of rushing to fill every moment of your child’s day with activities and distractions, allow them some time to just be.

You’ll be surprised at what they come up with when left to their own devices!

7) Modeling self-care

In our quest to raise successful and happy children, we often forget the importance of modeling self-care. Remember, our kids are always watching us.

As psychologist Virginia Satir said, “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” While she was specifically referring to the power of touch, this quote speaks volumes about the broader idea of self-care.

It’s crucial for parents to demonstrate that taking care of one’s mental, emotional, and physical health isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.

Whether it’s regular exercise, healthy eating, meditation, or simply taking time to relax and do things you enjoy, modeling self-care teaches your children to value their own wellbeing.

Final reflections

Parenting, as we all know, is a complex and challenging journey. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach, and what works for one child may not work for another.

However, psychology provides us with some valuable insights into the behaviors that can help set our kids up for success and happiness.

While we’ve explored seven such behaviors in this article, remember that the heart of parenting lies in nurturing, understanding, and guiding our children with love and respect.

Whether it’s leading by example, embracing mistakes, providing unconditional love, encouraging independence, fostering open communication, allowing for boredom, or modeling self-care – these aren’t just behaviors.

They are lifelong lessons that we impart to our children.

As you continue on your parenting journey, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on these behaviors. Are there any that you’re already practicing? Are there others you might want to incorporate more?

Ultimately, the goal isn’t to be a ‘perfect’ parent but to raise children who are confident, compassionate, resilient, and happy. That’s the real measure of success.