I used to think low self-esteem was just about feeling insecure or doubting myself sometimes. But the truth is, it shows up in ways I didn’t even realize.
It’s not just about negative self-talk—it’s in the way I react to compliments, the way I make decisions, and even how I handle relationships. These little habits seemed normal to me, but looking back, they were clear signs that I didn’t value myself as much as I should have.
The tricky part? A lot of these behaviors feel so natural that you don’t even notice them. But once you do, you can start making small changes that actually make a big difference.
1) Downplaying your achievements
Have you ever brushed off a compliment by saying, “Oh, it was nothing” or “I just got lucky”? I used to do this all the time without even thinking about it.
Instead of owning my accomplishments, I’d find ways to make them seem smaller, like they weren’t a big deal. It wasn’t that I didn’t work hard—I just felt uncomfortable taking credit for it.
The truth is, when you have low self-esteem, it can feel unnatural to acknowledge your own success. But learning to accept compliments and recognize your achievements doesn’t make you arrogant—it just means you’re giving yourself the credit you deserve.
2) Apologizing too much
I used to say “sorry” for everything—even things that weren’t my fault. If someone bumped into me, I’d apologize. If I asked a simple question, I’d start with, “Sorry to bother you…”
One day, a friend pointed it out. She laughed and said, “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything wrong.” That’s when I realized—I was constantly saying sorry because deep down, I felt like I was an inconvenience.
When you have low self-esteem, you might over-apologize without realizing it. But the more you do it, the more you reinforce the idea that you’re always in the wrong—even when you’re not.
3) Avoiding eye contact
When you don’t feel confident in yourself, it can be hard to meet someone’s gaze. You might find yourself looking down, glancing away, or focusing on something else in the room instead.
Eye contact plays a big role in communication. Studies have shown that people who maintain steady eye contact are perceived as more confident and trustworthy. On the other hand, avoiding it can make you seem unsure of yourself—even if that’s not what you mean to convey.
If this sounds familiar, don’t worry. Eye contact is a skill you can practice. The more you do it, the more natural it starts to feel.
4) Overanalyzing everything you say
Ever had a conversation and then spent hours replaying it in your head, picking apart every little thing you said? That’s a common habit when you have low self-esteem.
You might worry that you sounded awkward, said something wrong, or embarrassed yourself in some way—even if no one else thought twice about it. This constant self-criticism can make social interactions feel exhausting because you’re always second-guessing yourself.
The truth is, most people aren’t analyzing your words as closely as you are. Letting go of the need to be “perfect” in every conversation can make interactions feel a lot easier—and more enjoyable.
5) Putting others’ needs before your own
Caring for others is a beautiful thing, but when you constantly put yourself last, it can be a sign that you don’t value your own needs as much as you should.
Maybe you always say yes, even when you’re exhausted. Maybe you stay quiet to keep the peace, even when something bothers you. Over time, this can leave you feeling drained, unappreciated, and even resentful.
You deserve the same kindness and consideration that you give to everyone else. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. And the people who truly care about you will respect that.
6) Brushing off mistreatment
It’s easy to make excuses for the way people treat you. “They didn’t mean it like that.” “I’m probably overreacting.” “It’s not a big deal.”
But when you have low self-esteem, you might tolerate things that you shouldn’t—disrespect, being ignored, feeling unimportant. And after a while, you start believing that maybe this is just how things are, that maybe this is what you deserve.
But it’s not. No one deserves to be treated like they don’t matter. And the hardest part is realizing that sometimes, the way people treat you won’t change until you decide that you deserve better.
7) Struggling to accept compliments
When someone gives you a compliment, do you immediately deflect it? Maybe you laugh it off, change the subject, or downplay it by saying, “Oh, it’s nothing.”
It might seem like a small habit, but it often comes from a deeper belief that you’re not worthy of praise. Instead of letting kind words sink in, you push them away—almost as if accepting them feels wrong.
But the truth is, you deserve to be recognized for the good things about you. The next time someone gives you a compliment, try something simple: just say “thank you” and let yourself believe it.
8) Doubting your worth
When you have low self-esteem, it’s not just about feeling insecure in certain moments—it’s the constant, underlying belief that you’re not enough. Not smart enough, not talented enough, not lovable enough.
This belief shapes everything. It makes you hesitate to speak up, to take risks, to go after what you really want. It convinces you that other people deserve happiness, success, and love—but somehow, you don’t.
But that belief is a lie. And the sooner you stop believing it, the sooner everything starts to change.
bottom line: the way you see yourself isn’t the way the world sees you
The way we view ourselves isn’t always accurate. Low self-esteem has a way of distorting reality, making us believe we are less capable, less deserving, and less valued than we truly are.
Psychologists have long studied the “spotlight effect”—the tendency to believe others notice our flaws and mistakes far more than they actually do. In reality, people aren’t analyzing us nearly as much as we think.
The truth is, you are likely much harder on yourself than anyone else ever would be. The things you criticize about yourself? Others may not even notice them. The doubts you carry? They aren’t as real as they feel.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s time to start seeing yourself the way the world does—with more kindness, more grace, and far more worth than you’ve been giving yourself credit for.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
