People who never move forward in life usually surround themselves with these kinds of friends

Have you ever noticed how some people seem perpetually stuck—like they’re living the same year over and over again?

I used to wonder why a friend of mine never quite broke free of his rut. He was talented, ambitious (in theory), and full of interesting ideas about business and life. Yet he never took a real leap toward any of his goals.

Over time, I began to see a pattern—he spent an awful lot of time hanging out with the type of friends who actually worked against his progress rather than supporting it.

I’m not saying you should cut ties with everyone at the slightest sign of negativity. Relationships are complex, and it’s healthy to have friends of all kinds.

But if the bulk of your inner circle consistently drains your motivation, saps your energy, or keeps you in a cycle of self-doubt, you might want to reconsider who gets the lion’s share of your time.

According to a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, our close relationships significantly shape our behaviors, self-esteem, and even our willingness to try new things.

In other words, your friends can inadvertently (or sometimes very much intentionally) stunt your growth or propel you forward. And it’s easy to spot how they might stunt your growth if you pay attention to the cues.

Below, I’ll share several types of friends who tend to keep us stuck. I’ve also got some practical tips for dealing with them—without necessarily dropping them like hot potatoes.

1) The constant complainers

I once worked with someone who had a gift for grumbling about every little thing. No new idea was free from critique. No plan was ever “good enough.”

Whenever I proposed an after-work get-together to brainstorm new projects (one of my favorite ways to develop startup ideas back when I ran my own businesses), I was greeted with an avalanche of complaints: “Traffic is going to be awful,” “That place is too expensive,” “Everyone is already doing that idea.” You get the picture.

Complaining friends can drag you down quickly, simply because their negative energy is contagious. As James Clear once wrote, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.”

If all your daily interactions involve hearing negativity, cynicism, and an endless list of reasons why something won’t work, it can block you from taking the bold steps needed to move forward.

How to handle it:

Encourage these friends to see alternative perspectives. Politely challenge their complaints by asking solution-focused questions like, “So what would you propose?” or “How can we make this better?”

If they continue to complain with no interest in solutions, limit your exposure or balance their company with more upbeat individuals.

2) The fear mongers

Ever have that friend who reacts to all your big ideas with a horror story?

The moment you mention launching a new product or signing up for a challenging workshop, they fill your head with tales of people who failed, lost money, or wasted time. Their panic-laced arguments plant seeds of doubt at the very time you need confidence the most.

Don’t get me wrong—sometimes a bit of caution is wise. It’s helpful to have friends who remind you of potential pitfalls, so you can be prepared and do the necessary research.

But there’s a big difference between constructive caution and paralyzing fear. As Warren Buffett once said, “It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you’ll drift in that direction.”

In the same sense, pick people who are open-minded enough to see opportunities and not just the scary what-ifs.

How to handle it:

Acknowledge their concerns but also clarify your reasoning. If you sense they’re purely operating from fear, pivot the conversation.

Offer to share evidence of why you believe in your idea, or mention the steps you’re taking to minimize risk. If they remain stuck in doomsday mode, you know it’s time to rely more on mentors or peers who share a balanced but forward-thinking outlook.

3) The envious undercutters

Envy is a tricky emotion because it can be disguised as friendly banter or subtle criticisms.

Maybe you land a new client or hit a personal best in your workout routine, and instead of a genuine “Congrats!” you get backhanded compliments like, “Must be nice to have so much free time to train,” or “Well, that client probably just got lucky finding you.” Suddenly, your achievement feels smaller or undeserved.

That type of envy kills your momentum. When you’re surrounded by friends who undermine your success—perhaps because they’re wrestling with their own insecurities—you might start holding back. You don’t want to share wins or take bigger risks, because you fear the resentment or negative feedback that may follow.

How to handle it:

Call it out gently but clearly. Tell them how their reaction made you feel. At times, they might just need a mirror to see how they’re coming across.

If they brush it off or continue the pattern, invest less emotional energy there. Celebrate your successes with people who truly uplift you—it’s important to cultivate that environment for yourself.

4) The nostalgia junkies

We all love reminiscing about the good old days. However, there’s a difference between appreciating the past and never moving beyond it.

Perhaps you’ve got a buddy who’s still fixated on high school or college glory days, not because it’s a fun memory, but because they’re stuck in a time warp. Anytime you bring up new plans—like scaling your e-commerce store or switching careers—they steer the conversation back to, “Remember when life was simpler?” or “Why chase all this growth, anyway?”

As Greg McKeown has noted, “If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.” If your friends are constantly pulling you back to the “old times” and discouraging you from forging ahead with your present goals, they’re effectively draining your drive. Nostalgia can be a comforting place to visit, but it’s no place to stay.

How to handle it:

Use gentle reminders that while the past was great, you’re interested in creating new chapters in life.

If they’re open, invite them to share in your current passions—maybe propose new hobbies or events you can experience together. If they remain stuck in the past, it might be that your paths are diverging, and that’s perfectly okay.

5) The gossip circle

I have a real pet peeve when it comes to gossip. Nothing kills productivity, creativity, or goodwill faster than a bunch of folks talking about others behind their backs.

Back in my startup days, I watched entire teams lose focus because someone stirred up drama in the break room. It didn’t just affect morale—it stunted everyone’s ability to collaborate and push projects forward.

Friends who thrive on gossip create a toxic environment where trust is eroded. Over time, it can chip away at your ability to focus on what really matters, like building your business, leveling up your career, or simply living a more fulfilling life.

If your circle is fixated on other people’s failings or personal issues, guess what? You’ll end up focused on those same negative subjects rather than investing mental energy in your own growth.

How to handle it:

Steer the conversation toward more constructive topics. If you see the chat drifting into rumor territory, politely say something like, “I’m not really into discussing people behind their backs. Let’s talk about something else.”

You might feel awkward at first, but you’ll be sending a clear signal that gossip isn’t your jam.

6) The chronic excuse-makers

“I don’t have time.” “I’m too old for that now.” “I’ll start once I feel more motivated.” Sound familiar?

Chronic excuse-makers can be skilled at pulling you into their web. Because once you hear enough reasons why something “just isn’t possible,” you might start to believe it. And believing it shuts down any shot at progress.

I’ve mentioned this before but it’s worth repeating: success is often about just starting, even if you’re not 100% ready. People who stay stuck usually have a carefully crafted excuse for every shortcoming. And when you let those excuses seep into your thinking, you begin to craft your own rationalizations, too.

How to handle it:

Offer encouragement to pivot away from excuses and toward action. If that doesn’t help, then it’s time to put some distance between their limiting perspective and your own mindset.

Surround yourself with people who, while realistic, are still forward-leaning, solution-driven, and excited to put in the work.

7) The zero-accountability crowd

You know the type: they’re never at fault for anything. “It’s my boss’s fault I got fired,” “The teacher just hates me,” or “The economy is stacked against people like me.”

Sure, sometimes there are real external factors at play—life can be unfair. But consistently blaming everything and everyone else robs you of your agency.

Jordan Peterson has noted, “You’re going to pay a price for every bloody thing you do and everything you don’t do.” People who never hold themselves accountable ignore that principle, always shifting blame elsewhere.

And when you hang around them, you’ll find it easier to slide into that same mindset. Pretty soon, you’re not just stuck; you’re actively pinning your setbacks on everyone but yourself.

How to handle it:

When you see your friend playing the blame game, gently ask, “What do you think you could’ve done differently?” or “Is there something within your control you’d change next time?”

If the conversation always dead-ends, recognize that you can’t force someone to take responsibility. But you can ensure you don’t catch their habit of passing the buck.

Wrapping things up, but it’s still a big deal…

Your closest friends can be your biggest asset or your biggest liability.

The people who never move forward in life often gravitate toward constant complainers, fear mongers, envious undercutters, nostalgia junkies, gossipers, chronic excuse-makers, and those who shirk accountability at every turn. That might sound like a pretty tough verdict, but, in my experience, it’s right on the mark.

Here at Small Biz Technology, we often talk about how your environment shapes your productivity and success. And let’s face it—friends are a huge part of your environment. Think of your social circle like the soil in which you plant your life’s work: if it’s toxic or full of weeds, growth becomes an uphill battle.

I’m not suggesting you run a scorched-earth policy on your social life. But if you notice some of these traits creeping into your circle, it might be time to set boundaries, seek out people who truly lift you higher, or address the issues head-on.

It’s not about blaming or judging; it’s about recognizing how certain mindsets can quietly undermine your goals and overall well-being.

Growth is challenging enough without a squad of friends tugging you backward. Choose wisely, and watch what happens when your circle cheers you on instead of filling your head with doubt.

Until next time, friends