My friend is 40 and still gets ID-ed. Her secret to looking young is surprisingly simple.

A few weeks ago, I was at a local coffee shop with a friend I’ve known since my college days.

She’s 40, so just a few years older than me, but every single time we’re out somewhere that requires age verification—whether it’s buying a bottle of wine or entering a 21+ concert—she gets asked to show her ID.

I remember one time, the bouncer at a music venue thought she was in her twenties. She just laughed and took it as a compliment. Naturally, I got curious about how she pulls off this seemingly timeless appearance and energy.

Is she using cutting-edge skincare? Is it a special diet or a fancy gym regimen? Turns out, her secret is surprisingly simple: it’s all about how she manages her mental and emotional well-being.

And let me tell you, the more I learned about it, the more it made sense—not just for looking youthful, but for living with more energy and purpose overall.

A personal realization

When I first asked my friend—let’s call her Sarah—about her “eternal youth,” she shrugged and said something along the lines of, “I just take time to enjoy life, you know?”

It seemed so casual that I initially thought she was dodging my question. But as we dove deeper, I realized she truly had a knack for maintaining a calm, balanced perspective, even when things around her got chaotic.

I started to see small signs of that perspective in action. When her laptop broke down during a busy workweek, she didn’t spiral into panic mode. She simply took a breath, calmly called tech support, and said, “I might have to rearrange a few meetings until this is resolved.”

The contrast to some of my own stress-filled reactions was stark. I found myself thinking, “Could it be that this serenity is keeping her looking so young?”

We’ve all heard phrases like “stress ages you,” but Sarah’s example drove home how everyday habits of mind can shape how we look and feel. Stress can be helpful in short bursts, prompting us to act.

But chronic stress? That’s the kind that can weigh on you physically. Sarah’s approach—embracing challenges with a level head—appeared to be her built-in buffer against unnecessary wear and tear.

The power of daily resets

One thing I’ve noticed about Sarah is that she’s big on what she calls her “daily resets.” It’s not a formal meditation or anything particularly complicated.

Usually, it’s just a few minutes of lying down quietly or going outside to breathe fresh air without her phone. On busy days, she’s learned to squeeze in these breaks wherever she can. Sometimes it’s just a moment of standing still in her kitchen, eyes closed, counting five slow breaths before replying to her next email.

It might sound almost too simple to matter. But the more I researched, the more I found that these tiny mental breaks can have a significant impact on our overall stress levels.

In the hustle of everyday life—especially if you run a business or have a demanding job—your sympathetic nervous system (the one responsible for the fight-or-flight response) can stay in high gear for way too long. Mini reset moments help shift you back into a calmer state.

That calmer baseline isn’t just good for your mental health; it can have tangible benefits for your physical appearance, too. I recently came across an article on Psychology Today discussing how these conscious pauses contribute to better hormonal balance and reduce inflammation, which can in turn support healthier skin and improved mood.

Consistency beats complexity

While I was digging into Sarah’s secret, I realized there’s no elaborate formula behind it. She’s not chugging down mystery supplements or heading to some boutique fitness studio at the crack of dawn.

Instead, she’s mastered a handful of small habits—like her short reset breaks, consistent bedtime, moderate exercise, and a willingness to prioritize activities that bring her joy. These aren’t headline-grabbing strategies, but the difference is that she’s consistent about them.

She rarely skips her daily walk, and she won’t sacrifice sleep unless it’s absolutely necessary. She also makes room in her schedule for simple fun—like baking cookies with her niece or listening to her favorite true-crime podcasts.

This reminds me of a quote I once saw from Seth Godin, who often talks about how successful people are typically those who show up every day and do the work, rather than those with the flashiest methods.

In a similar way, Sarah’s approach to self-care is built on consistency. She’s showing up daily for her own health and mindset, and that investment adds up.

The ripple effect for entrepreneurs

I work closely with many entrepreneurs, and you might be wondering what looking physically younger has to do with building a successful business. The short answer: it’s about having the mental clarity and emotional resilience to keep going in the face of challenges.

If your mind and body are constantly taxed by stress, it’s harder to make wise decisions, adapt to market changes, or nurture relationships with clients and team members.

When I consult with startups, one of the first things I notice is how founders often put themselves last. They think pulling 16-hour days and ignoring self-care is the heroic path to success. But I’ve watched burnout strike brilliant people time and again, causing them to lose that spark of creativity and confidence.

In contrast, maintaining a balanced mental state—like Sarah—often leads to sharper decision-making, better communication, and more creative problem-solving. Harvard Business Review has published several articles discussing how stress management correlates with leadership effectiveness.

Leaders who manage stress well tend to motivate their teams more effectively, see opportunities where others see obstacles, and stay the course during tough times.

A holistic view of self

One theme I see repeatedly in Sarah’s life is that she doesn’t separate her physical, mental, and emotional health. She sees them as one package. She’s not perfect—no one is—but she’s aware enough to recognize that if she’s feeling scattered or anxious, she needs to address it before it spirals.

That might mean talking it out with a trusted friend, writing down her worries in a journal, or simply stepping away from her phone to spend time outside.

This holistic mindset resonates with me because I’ve also noticed how compartmentalizing different aspects of our lives can create confusion. If I treat my mental stress as something separate from, say, my physical exhaustion, I miss the bigger picture.

Learning from Sarah, I’m trying to pay attention to how my mind and body communicate with each other. Sometimes, feeling “old” has nothing to do with age—it’s simply an accumulation of unchecked stress, poor sleep, or emotional tension. Address those areas, and you’ll likely regain some of your spark and energy.

The role of community and relationships

If you’ve ever gone down the rabbit hole of longevity research, you might have seen studies that highlight the importance of social connections. Long-term research from institutions like Harvard consistently shows that strong relationships and community ties can help people live longer, healthier lives. Sarah intuitively gets this.

She loves hosting casual get-togethers, whether it’s a potluck dinner with neighbors or a low-key brunch where everyone brings a dish. She also invests in relationships by being genuinely present for her friends—calling to check in on them, sending thoughtful messages, and celebrating milestones together. It’s not a chore for her; it’s a core part of her life.

There’s a certain joy that comes with shared laughter and vulnerability. And that joy, I believe, has a tangible effect on how we carry ourselves. The more connected and supported we feel, the less we’re burdened by the day-to-day pressures of life.

It’s hard to sustain a bright, youthful demeanor if you feel isolated. Sarah’s secret includes nurturing her sense of community, and it shows up in her radiant energy.

Technology as a tool, not a trap

Given that I’m online quite often—consulting with clients, managing multiple projects, or simply keeping up with the latest trends—I know how easy it can be to get sucked into the digital vortex. Sarah uses technology, too, but she treats it like a tool rather than letting it overwhelm her life.

She’s never the person doom-scrolling late at night. She sets boundaries, like charging her phone in another room when she’s winding down. She also tries to maintain a healthy digital diet: limiting how often she scrolls through overly curated social feeds that can spark envy or anxiety.

I found this refreshing because I’ve read articles on Farnam Street about how easily our brains get hijacked by dopamine-driven social media usage. Sarah seems to have an internal compass that helps her steer away from the noise.

She’ll use Instagram to look for art ideas or check out recipes, but she doesn’t linger in the endless scroll. Her mindful use of technology contributes to better sleep, reduced stress, and a more stable mood overall—another plus for looking and feeling youthful.

Real food, moderate movement

I have to give Sarah credit for one more habit: she prioritizes real food and moderate exercise without overcomplicating it. She’s not a gym rat. She’s just consistent about moving her body regularly—taking walks or going for hikes—and she leans toward whole foods.

She enjoys her cheat meals or sweet treats, but she doesn’t make them her staple. She jokes that her “fitness plan” is just walking her dog every morning and dancing around the house whenever she feels like it. It sounds playful, but there’s research backing up even small amounts of daily activity.

Moderate exercise helps maintain strong cardiovascular health, supports mood regulation, and contributes to better overall energy levels. Combine that with a relatively clean diet, and you have another pillar of a youthful glow.

Wrapping up

If there’s one big lesson Sarah has taught me, it’s that you don’t need drastic measures to look and feel younger.

A calm mindset, regular mini-breaks, supportive relationships, and a bit of intentional movement can create a natural glow that no bottle of serum can replicate. The best part? These habits benefit not just our appearance but also our overall quality of life.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling frazzled or drained, consider taking a page out of Sarah’s book. Pause, breathe, reconnect with the people and activities that bring you joy, and watch what happens. You might just find yourself looking—and living—like you’ve turned back the clock.