People who constantly second guess themselves usually had these 7 childhood experiences, says psychology

Ever heard the phrase, “Trust your gut”?

Well, it’s not as easy as it sounds, especially if you’re someone who’s constantly second-guessing themselves.

You can’t quite shake off that niggling doubt, always questioning your decisions. Sound familiar?

Let me tell you something.

According to psychology, this tendency might not be entirely your fault. It could stem from certain childhood experiences that have left a lasting impact on your self-confidence.

So, if you’re sitting there wondering, “Why do I always second guess myself?” then stay tuned.

We’re about to delve into the seven common childhood experiences that usually play a major role in this behavior pattern.

Remember. Understanding is the first step towards change. And change is what paves the way for a stronger, more confident you, both personally and professionally.

1) Unpredictable family environment

Here’s the thing.

Growing up in an unpredictable family environment can make a significant dent in your decision-making abilities.

Think about it.

If you were constantly walking on eggshells as a child, always unsure of what reaction you’d get from your parents or siblings, it’s likely that you’ve unconsciously carried this anxiety into your adult life.

Now, the thought of making a wrong decision may trigger this same fear.

Hence, you end up second guessing yourself, trying to predict all possible outcomes before taking a step.

It’s not your fault, it’s simply a coping mechanism that your younger self developed to navigate through an uncertain environment.

But guess what?

You’re not that helpless kid anymore. You have the power to rewrite your narrative and have more trust in yourself.

2) Constant criticism

This one hits close to home for me.

Growing up, I had a piano teacher who was incredibly critical.

Every missed note, every imperfect rhythm was pointed out and magnified. I was striving for perfection that always seemed unreachable.

Over time, this translated into a constant fear of being judged by others, and a harsh inner critic that didn’t spare any of my decisions.

I found myself second guessing everything, from my choice of college major to the toppings on my pizza. Sounds silly, right? But that’s what constant criticism can do to you.

The good news is, once you identify this root cause, you can work on quieting that inner critic and start trusting your own judgement more. Remember, it’s okay not to be perfect.

3) High expectations

Let’s get real here.

High expectations can be a double-edged sword. While they can push us to strive for greater heights, they can also cause paralyzing self-doubt.

Imagine being a child who was always expected to be the best – to ace every test, win every race, never fail. You were celebrated for your achievements, but your failures?

They were met with disappointment or even outright disapproval.

Fast forward to your adult life. Now, every decision feels like a high-stakes game.

The fear of not living up to expectations – whether they’re your own, or those perceived from others – leads you to question every choice you make.

But let me tell you this. It’s okay to not have all the answers. It’s okay to make mistakes. Life isn’t a competition, and your worth isn’t determined by your successes or failures.

You are enough, just as you are.

4) Lack of validation

 Here’s something we often overlook.

The need for validation is a fundamental human desire.

As kids, when our feelings, thoughts, or actions are consistently invalidated, we start to doubt our own perceptions and judgement.

Say your childhood was filled with phrases like “You’re overreacting” or “That’s not a big deal.”

This constant dismissal of your feelings could have led to a deep-seated uncertainty in your adult life.

Now, every decision you make may feel like it needs external validation. You’re always second guessing, always seeking approval.

But remember this. Your feelings are valid. Your thoughts are valid. And your decisions? They’re valid too. Trust in your ability to forge your own path.

5) Absence of role models

Did you know that our childhood role models significantly shape our behaviors and attitudes?

Growing up, if we didn’t have a positive role model who demonstrated confident decision-making, we might struggle to make decisions ourselves. We never had that figure to learn from, to mimic.

It’s like trying to bake a cake without a recipe. Sure, you can guess the ingredients and their quantities, but you’re always unsure if it’s going to turn out right.

And just like baking, decision-making is a skill that can be learned and improved over time. So if you’re second guessing yourself now, don’t worry. It’s never too late to learn and grow.

6) Experiencing failure early on

Nobody likes to fail. But did you ever consider that your early experiences with failure might be causing you to second guess yourself?

Imagine being a child who tried to ride a bike for the first time, but fell off and scraped your knee. You felt embarrassed, perhaps even ashamed.

You might have been so scared of falling again that you never tried to ride the bike again.

This fear of failure can translate into your adult life, causing you to second guess every decision you make.

But here’s the thing. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay to fail. Every successful person has failed at some point in their life. Failure doesn’t define you, it helps you grow.

Next time you’re about to make a decision, remember, it’s okay to take risks. It’s okay to trust yourself.

7) Emotional neglect

This is crucial.

Emotional neglect during childhood can deeply affect your ability to trust yourself.

If your feelings were often ignored, dismissed, or invalidated, you might have grown up believing that your thoughts and opinions don’t matter.

As an adult, this belief can manifest as constant second guessing. It’s as if you’re always seeking that emotional validation you never received as a child.

But remember, your feelings matter. Your thoughts matter. And most importantly, your decisions matter. Trusting yourself might be a journey, but it’s a journey worth embarking on.

The journey forward

If you recognize yourself in these experiences, know that you’re not alone. Many of us carry the echoes of our childhood into adulthood. But remember, these experiences don’t have to define you.

Understanding the root cause of your self-doubt is the first step towards change. It’s the beginning of a journey towards cultivating confidence and trust in yourself.

Start by observing your thoughts and decisions. Notice when you’re second guessing yourself. Is it because of a fear of failure? Or is it a need for validation?

Once you spot these patterns, consciously question them. Ask yourself – is this self-doubt warranted, or is it an echo from my past?

Change doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process, filled with small victories and inevitable setbacks. But every step forward, no matter how small, is a step towards trusting yourself.

As you embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth, be patient with yourself. Celebrate your progress. And remember, you have the power to rewrite your narrative.

So go ahead. Trust yourself. You’re more capable than you think.