Narcissists have a way of turning even the most ordinary conversations into something exhausting.
They dominate discussions, dismiss other perspectives, and skillfully redirect attention back to themselves—often without you even realizing it.
These behaviors aren’t just frustrating; they’re also backed by psychological research on narcissistic personality traits.
Understanding these conversational tactics can help you navigate interactions more effectively and maintain your own sense of confidence and clarity.
Here are seven obnoxious things narcissists do in everyday conversation, according to psychology:
1) They constantly shift the conversation back to themselves
Talking to a narcissist can feel like being trapped in a one-way street.
No matter where the conversation starts, it always finds its way back to them.
Psychologists refer to this as ‘conversational narcissism,’ which is the tendency to dominate discussions by steering every topic toward their own experiences, opinions, or achievements.
You might share a personal story, only for them to immediately jump in with a bigger, more dramatic version from their own life.
You might ask for advice, only to hear an unrelated monologue about their own success.
This isn’t just self-centered behavior—it’s a way for narcissists to maintain control and reinforce their sense of superiority.
Recognizing this pattern can help you set boundaries and ensure your voice is heard in conversations.
2) They downplay your achievements and experiences
Few things are more frustrating than sharing something meaningful, only to have it brushed off or minimized.
Narcissists have a habit of doing exactly that.
Instead of celebrating your successes or acknowledging your challenges, they find subtle ways to diminish them.
I’ve seen this happen countless times.
You share an accomplishment you’re proud of, and instead of encouragement, you get a dismissive “Oh, that’s not a big deal,” or “Anyone could do that.”
Or maybe you open up about a struggle, and they respond with, “That’s nothing compared to what I went through.”
This isn’t just rudeness—it’s a deliberate tactic to keep themselves feeling superior while keeping you in a place of self-doubt.
No one else has the right to define the value of your experiences.
As Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
Don’t let anyone take that away from you.
3) They make everything a competition
Have you ever shared an exciting achievement, only to have someone immediately try to one-up you?
Narcissists thrive on turning conversations into competitions.
No matter what you’ve done, they’ve done it better, faster, or under more impressive circumstances.
If you mention a recent promotion, they’ll remind you of how they climbed the ranks even quicker; if you talk about a personal challenge, they’ll counter with a hardship that was far worse.
This isn’t just about bragging—it’s about maintaining control and keeping the spotlight firmly on themselves.
Instead of engaging in meaningful dialogue, they use conversations as a way to reinforce their superiority.
But life isn’t a contest, and real relationships aren’t built on constant comparison.
If you find yourself caught in this dynamic, it might be time to step back and reassess the role this person plays in your life.
For more insight into how to build healthier relationships based on authenticity rather than competition, you might find my video on choosing a life partner helpful:
4) They never take responsibility for their actions
Narcissists are masters at avoiding accountability—nothing is ever their fault.
If they hurt someone, they’ll twist the story until they’re the victim; if they fail at something, they’ll blame bad luck, difficult people, or an unfair system.
No matter the situation, there’s always an excuse or someone else to take the fall.
This refusal to take responsibility is more than just frustrating—it’s toxic.
It means that no real growth ever happens.
Instead of learning from mistakes, they repeat the same destructive patterns while expecting everyone else to clean up the mess.
Taking responsibility for our actions is the foundation of personal freedom.
When we own our choices—good or bad—we empower ourselves to grow, adapt, and create a better future.
Narcissists reject this entirely.
If you’re constantly dealing with someone who refuses to face reality and take accountability, it might be time to stop carrying the weight of their consequences for them.
5) They exploit your empathy
Narcissists know exactly how to manipulate people who care.
They’ll play the victim when it suits them, using guilt and emotional appeals to get what they want.
If you set a boundary, they’ll act wounded, making you question whether you were too harsh; if you call them out on their behavior, they’ll twist the situation until you’re the one apologizing.
This isn’t an accident—it’s a strategy.
Narcissists rely on the kindness of others to maintain control, draining energy and resources while offering nothing in return.
But real relationships aren’t built on manipulation.
They’re built on mutual respect, where both people take responsibility for their actions and support each other’s growth.
If you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of giving without receiving, it might be time to take a step back and reassess.
Your empathy is a strength—but only when it’s given to those who truly respect it..
6) They disguise insults as jokes
Narcissists rarely attack directly.
Instead, they hide behind sarcasm and “just kidding” remarks to tear others down while maintaining plausible deniability.
They’ll make a cutting remark about your appearance, intelligence, or choices—then laugh it off as if you’re too sensitive for taking it seriously.
If you push back, they’ll flip the script, acting as if you’re the one creating drama.
It’s a way to erode confidence while avoiding responsibility.
It keeps them in control by making sure you’re always second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re overreacting.
True confidence doesn’t come from putting others down—it comes from lifting others up.
A person secure in themselves has no need to disguise cruelty as comedy.
If someone constantly makes you feel small under the guise of “just joking,” it might be time to stop playing along.
7) They rewrite reality to suit their narrative
Narcissists don’t just bend the truth—they completely rewrite it.
They’ll deny things they’ve said, even if you have proof; they’ll twist past events to make themselves look better and you look worse.
If you confront them with facts, they’ll accuse you of being mistaken, overly emotional, or even paranoid.
Psychologists call this ‘gaslighting’—a manipulation tactic designed to make you doubt your own perception of reality.
Over time, it can wear you down, leaving you unsure of what’s true and what’s not.
Reality doesn’t belong to anyone.
The truth exists whether or not a narcissist acknowledges it, and no one has the right to dictate your memories or emotions for their own benefit.
The moment you realize someone is constantly distorting reality to serve their own agenda is the moment you need to step back and trust yourself again.
Self-awareness is power—and no one should have the ability to take that away from you.
The power of recognizing manipulation
Understanding how narcissists manipulate conversations isn’t just about avoiding frustration—it’s about reclaiming your own sense of clarity and confidence.
When someone constantly dismisses your achievements, shifts blame, or rewrites reality, it can be easy to internalize their distortions.
Over time, you might start doubting your own perceptions, questioning whether you’re being too sensitive or reading too much into things.
Recognizing manipulation is the first step toward breaking free from its grip.
The moment you see these tactics for what they are, they begin to lose their power over you.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect, open communication, and a willingness to take responsibility—not on control and deceit.
Once you surround yourself with people who genuinely support and uplift you, you’ll wonder why you ever tolerated anything less.
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