Stepping up as a leader isn’t just about getting a new title or more responsibility. It’s about embodying a mindset that inspires and empowers those around you.
But leadership isn’t just about what you do—it’s also about what you stop doing.
Certain habits can quietly hold you back, preventing you from earning the trust and respect of your colleagues. If you want to be seen as a true leader, it’s time to recognize these behaviors and leave them behind.
Here are the habits to say goodbye to if you’re ready to step into leadership at work.
1) Waiting for permission
If you want to be a leader, you can’t sit around waiting for someone to tell you it’s time to step up.
Leadership isn’t about being granted authority—it’s about taking responsibility. The most effective leaders don’t wait for approval before making a decision or driving an initiative forward. They see what needs to be done and take action.
Of course, this doesn’t mean ignoring collaboration or bypassing necessary discussions. But if you constantly wait for someone else to give you the green light, you’ll never establish yourself as a true leader.
Instead of hesitating, start trusting your judgment. Take ownership of the challenges in front of you, and show through your actions that you’re ready to lead.
2) Avoiding difficult conversations
Early in my career, I used to shy away from uncomfortable discussions. Whether it was addressing a colleague’s mistakes or bringing up a disagreement with a boss, I’d convince myself that avoiding the conversation was the better option.
But all that did was create tension, misunderstandings, and missed opportunities for growth.
True leaders don’t dodge difficult conversations—they embrace them with honesty and respect. Whether it’s giving constructive feedback, standing up for an idea, or resolving conflict, leadership requires the courage to face discomfort head-on.
The key is to approach these conversations with empathy and a focus on solutions. When handled well, they strengthen relationships and build trust rather than erode it.
As Brené Brown put it: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” A leader’s job is to foster clarity, even when it’s uncomfortable.
3) Chasing external validation
Many people fall into the trap of seeking approval before they feel confident in their leadership abilities. They wait for praise, external recognition, or a formal promotion before they truly see themselves as leaders.
Real leadership isn’t about being liked—it’s about having the courage to do what’s right, even when it’s unpopular.
Early in my journey, I struggled with this myself. I wanted people to see me as capable before I fully stepped into my own power. But I eventually realized that the only validation that truly matters comes from within.
The moment you stop chasing approval and start making decisions based on your values and vision, you become a leader—whether or not anyone officially gives you the title.
If this resonates with you, I dive deeper into this topic in my video on personal freedom hacks, where I share how letting go of the need to be liked helped me live more authentically:
As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.” True leaders don’t wait for permission or applause. They lead because it’s who they are.
4) Blaming others for your problems
If you want to be a leader, you need to take full responsibility for your actions, your decisions, and your outcomes. No excuses. No finger-pointing. No waiting for someone else to fix things for you.
Blaming others is easy. It protects your ego and gives you a convenient excuse for why things aren’t going the way you want. But it also strips you of your power. The moment you place the blame elsewhere, you give away control over your own future.
True leaders don’t waste time complaining about circumstances or pointing fingers when things go wrong. They ask themselves: What can I do about this? They own their mistakes, learn from them, and move forward with integrity.
It’s raw, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s the truth—if you’re not willing to take responsibility for your life, you’re not ready to lead.
5) Fearing failure
If you’re afraid to fail, you’re not ready to lead.
Leadership isn’t about getting everything right—it’s about having the resilience to keep going when things go wrong. The most successful leaders aren’t the ones who never fail; they’re the ones who fail, learn, and adapt.
Playing it safe, avoiding risks, and waiting for the perfect moment will keep you stuck. Growth demands discomfort. It requires stepping into uncertainty, making mistakes, and embracing setbacks as fuel for innovation.
If failure terrifies you, it’s time to shift your perspective. Every challenge contains an opportunity—if you’re willing to see it.
I explore this idea in my video on how the illusion of happiness can hold you back. When we stop chasing perfection and embrace life’s ups and downs, we unlock real progress and fulfillment:
As Thomas Edison put it: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Leaders don’t fear failure—they use it.
6) Trying to do everything yourself
Many people think leadership is about proving you can handle everything on your own. But the truth is, the best leaders know when to step back and let others shine.
If you’re constantly micromanaging, refusing help, or believing that no one else can do the job as well as you, you’re not leading—you’re controlling. And control doesn’t build strong teams; trust does.
Real leadership means empowering others. It means recognizing that the best ideas don’t always have to come from you and that success is a collective effort. Instead of trying to carry the entire load, focus on bringing out the strengths in those around you.
The strongest leaders aren’t the ones who do it all—they’re the ones who create an environment where everyone thrives.
7) Avoiding self-reflection
If you’re not willing to look inward, you have no business leading others.
Leadership isn’t just about guiding a team or making big decisions—it’s about understanding yourself first. Your strengths, your blind spots, your triggers, and your biases all shape the way you lead.
If you don’t take the time to reflect on them, you’ll end up reacting instead of responding, projecting instead of guiding.
Too many people charge forward without ever stopping to ask themselves why they do what they do. They avoid self-examination because it’s uncomfortable. But without self-awareness, leadership becomes shallow—built on ego instead of integrity.
Make time for honest reflection. Question your assumptions. Challenge your own patterns. Because the more you understand yourself, the better you’ll be at leading others with clarity and purpose.
As Socrates said: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” And for a leader, an unexamined life is a liability.
The unseen shift that defines true leaders
Leadership isn’t just about titles, authority, or even skill—it’s about a fundamental shift in mindset.
The moment you stop waiting for permission, blaming circumstances, fearing failure, and trying to do everything yourself, something changes. You move from reacting to shaping, from hesitating to deciding, from following to leading.
This shift isn’t always obvious from the outside. It often happens quietly—when you take ownership of a mistake, when you embrace discomfort instead of avoiding it, when you trust others instead of controlling them. But over time, these choices redefine who you are and how others see you.
The habits we’ve explored aren’t just obstacles to leadership; they’re barriers to personal growth. And when you shed them, you don’t just become a better leader—you become someone who moves through life with more confidence, purpose, and impact.
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