7 habits that make a woman genuinely tiring to be around, according to psychology

For years, I’ve been fascinated by human behavior, especially in the context of relationships.

I’ve spent countless hours delving into the intricacies of interpersonal dynamics, and over time, I’ve noticed some recurring patterns – particularly regarding what can make a woman genuinely tiring to be around.

Now, we all have our quirks and idiosyncrasies – that’s what makes us unique. But certain habits can make interactions more draining than they need to be.

Several years back, I found myself in a relationship with a woman who embodied these habits. It was exhausting, to say the least.

But it also piqued my curiosity. What was it about these specific behaviors that made them so tiring?

So, I decided to delve deeper into psychology to understand these habits better. And what I found was enlightening.

These insights could help improve your relationships or even your overall interaction with others – in both personal and professional settings.

Let’s get started.

1) Excessive negativity

Among the most draining habits I’ve noticed, excessive negativity stands out.

We all have our ups and downs, but constant negativity can be exhausting for those around us.

In my previous relationship, I found myself with a partner who was perpetually pessimistic. It seemed like there was always something wrong, something to complain about.

It was as if she were wearing a pair of dark glasses that colored everything in shades of gloom.

Psychology explains this as a cognitive distortion called “negative filtering“, where a person focuses almost exclusively on the bad and overlooks the good.

This habit not only drags down the person indulging in it but also those around them.

Engaging with constant negativity can be mentally and emotionally tiring. It’s like trying to swim against a strong current – no matter how hard you paddle, you don’t seem to make any progress.

If you find yourself dealing with someone who exhibits this habit, it’s important to set boundaries and protect your own mental health. You might not be able to change their perspective, but you can control your reaction to it.

Remember, you’re not responsible for someone else’s happiness. It’s okay to distance yourself from constant negativity – that’s an act of self-care, not selfishness.

2) Lack of clear communication

Another habit that I found particularly draining was a lack of clear communication.

I remember a time when I was planning a surprise birthday party for this particular woman. I had everything meticulously planned, and all she needed to do was show up.

However, on the day, she ended up making other plans, and I was left with a room full of people and no guest of honor.

When I confronted her about it, she said: “But I told you I might have other plans.” In reality, she had never explicitly communicated this to me.

This kind of vague and ambiguous communication can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary friction in both personal and professional relationships.

Having clear, open, and honest communication not only helps in avoiding such misunderstandings but also contributes to building stronger relationships.

It’s crucial to express your needs, expectations, and feelings clearly to prevent needless stress for yourself and others around you.

3) Overdependence

Overdependence is another habit that can make a woman genuinely tiring to be around.

In my previous relationship, I found myself becoming more of a caretaker than a partner. She seemed to rely on me for everything – from making decisions to managing her emotions.

I remember one instance where she had a minor disagreement with a colleague at work. Instead of addressing the issue with her colleague, she expected me to step in and resolve the situation.

Over time, this level of dependence started to take a toll on me, both emotionally and mentally. It felt like I was constantly on call, ready to jump in and solve her problems at any moment.

While it’s natural and healthy to lean on your partner for support, it becomes draining when the dependence is one-sided or excessive.

In a balanced relationship, both partners should be able to stand on their own two feet while also providing support for each other when needed. It’s about interdependence, not overdependence.

4) Inability to apologize or admit wrongdoing

Another habit that can make a woman tiring to be around is the inability to apologize or admit when she’s wrong.

In the past, I found myself in a situation where no matter the disagreement, the woman I was with never seemed to see any fault in her actions.

Even when she was clearly in the wrong, she would find ways to shift the blame or avoid taking responsibility.

At one point, we had a heated argument over a misunderstanding that could have been easily resolved with a simple apology. Instead, she chose to deflect and blame me for overreacting.

A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals who consistently refuse to apologize when they’ve wronged others can cause themselves and those around them unnecessary stress and conflict.

The inability to apologize or admit wrongdoing not only strains relationships but also hinders personal growth. Being able to acknowledge our mistakes is a critical part of learning and maturing as individuals.

5) Constant need for attention

A constant need for attention can be another habit that makes a woman tiring to be around.

In a past relationship, I found myself with someone who constantly sought validation and attention. Whether we were alone or in a group, she had to be the center of attention.

I remember being at a friend’s party where she constantly interrupted conversations, made loud comments, and sought to dominate the room.

It was exhausting trying to balance her need for attention with the social dynamics of the situation.

While it’s normal to want recognition and attention from time to time, constantly seeking it can be draining for those around you.

It can also create an imbalance in relationships where one person’s needs and desires overshadow the other’s.

In a healthy relationship, attention and validation should be given freely and reciprocally, not demanded or sought incessantly. It’s about mutual respect and understanding, not constant spotlight-seeking.

6) Unreliability

Unreliability is another habit that can make a woman genuinely tiring to be around.

I recall a time when I was dating a woman who was perpetually late for everything. It was frustrating, especially when it affected other people.

I remember one instance where we were supposed to meet friends for dinner, and because of her tardiness, everyone had to wait for over an hour.

When confronted about it, she would shrug it off as being ‘fashionably late.’ But in reality, it showed a lack of respect for other people’s time and a disregard for commitments.

The famous psychologist, Jordan Peterson, once said: “If you say no to your boss, or your spouse, or your mother, when it needs to be said, then you transform yourself into someone who can say no when it needs to be said.”

This quote underscores the importance of being reliable and keeping our commitments. When we fail to do so, it not only affects our relationships but also our personal growth and development.

Being reliable shows respect for others and their time. It’s about being someone others can depend on – and that’s a trait that never goes out of style.

7) Being overly agreeable

This might sound counterintuitive, but being overly agreeable can also make a woman genuinely tiring to be around.

I once dated a woman who agreed with everything I said, regardless of her own views. At first, it seemed nice to have someone who was so easy-going and conflict-averse. But over time, it became frustrating.

Her constant agreement made our conversations feel one-sided and superficial. It felt like I was in a relationship with a mirror, not a person with her own thoughts and opinions.

Here’s the thing: Disagreements and debates can be healthy in a relationship. They allow us to challenge our views, grow as individuals, and understand each other better.

Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

In other words, it’s okay to have differing opinions and to voice them respectfully. In fact, it leads to richer, more authentic interactions.

So here’s a practical tip: If you find yourself being overly agreeable, try expressing your true thoughts and feelings more often.

It might feel uncomfortable at first, but with practice, you’ll find that it leads to deeper connections and more satisfying conversations.

Conclusion

Understanding these habits can make our interactions with others – be it personal or professional – more harmonious and less draining.

But remember, nobody is perfect. We all have habits that may be tiring to others. The key is self-awareness and a willingness to change and grow.

As a final piece of advice: The next time you find someone’s habits tiring, instead of getting frustrated, try having an open and honest conversation about it. You might be surprised at how much a little communication can improve a situation.

And if you find yourself exhibiting some of these habits, don’t beat yourself up. Acknowledge it and take small steps towards change. After all, self-improvement is a journey, not a destination.