10 common greetings that instantly turn people off when you first meet them

First impressions matter, and often, it’s the first few words out of your mouth that set the tone. But beware, some greetings can instantly rub people the wrong way.

You see, it’s not about what you say, but how you say it. And let’s face it, nobody wants to start on the wrong foot, especially when meeting someone for the first time.

So, I’m going to share with you 10 common greetings that can turn people off instantly when you first meet them. These are phrases you might want to avoid if you want to leave a good impression.

Let’s dig in and make those first few seconds count for the right reasons.

1) Hi, I’m…

Let’s face it, introductions can be tricky. But one common greeting that can instantly turn people off is when you launch straight into your name without any build-up.

Believe it or not, this can come off as overly aggressive or self-absorbed. It sends a message that you’re more interested in talking about yourself than getting to know the other person.

We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and before you can even say a word, they’re already telling you their life story. It’s overwhelming and, frankly, a bit off-putting.

When you’re introducing yourself, try easing into it with a simple “Hello” or “Nice to meet you” before dropping your name into the conversation. You’d be surprised how much more receptive people can be with just a little bit of social grace.

2) How’s it going?

This one might sound like a friendly enough greeting on the surface, but let me tell you a little story.

I remember meeting a new colleague at work and my go-to phrase was “How’s it going?” It was an automatic, casual greeting that I’d used countless times before. But this time, the colleague looked taken aback and quickly mumbled a “Fine, thanks,” before hurrying away.

What I realized is that when you’re first meeting someone, “How’s it going?” can come off as too familiar or invasive. It’s like asking for an update on their life when you barely know them.

From then on, I switched my initial greeting to a simple “Nice to meet you,” or “Hello.” It’s less prying and gives the other person the chance to lead the conversation how they want to. Trust me, it makes a world of difference in those first few interactions.

3) What’s up?

You might think “What’s up?” is a cool and casual way to greet someone. It’s a phrase often used in movies and TV shows, giving it an air of pop culture credibility. However, it can actually be quite off-putting when used in the wrong context.

Greetings that are too casual may not be well-received in more formal situations or with people from different cultures. The study found that people prefer greetings that match the environment and relationship.

“What’s up?” can be seen as too casual or even disrespectful when meeting someone for the first time, especially in a professional setting. It’s better to stick to more traditional greetings like “Hello” or “Nice to meet you,” which are generally accepted across various contexts and cultures.

4) Long time no see

This phrase might seem harmless enough, especially when you’re genuinely excited to see someone you haven’t met in a while. But when used in a first meeting, it can be confusing and even off-putting.

By saying “Long time no see” to someone you’re meeting for the first time, you’re implying a previous encounter that didn’t actually happen. This can make the other person feel uneasy or confused, wondering if they’ve forgotten meeting you before.

It’s best to save this greeting for actual reunions and stick with a safer option like “Nice to meet you” or “Hello” when meeting someone new. Clear communication is key to starting off on the right foot.

5) How’s your day going?

We might think that asking “How’s your day going?” shows interest and empathy towards the other person. But when meeting someone for the first time, this question can feel too personal.

Not everyone is comfortable sharing details about their day with a stranger. It can put the other person in an awkward position, especially if they’re having a bad day and don’t want to share it.

Instead, try a more neutral greeting like “Nice to meet you” or simply “Hello”. These greetings are more likely to start the conversation on a positive note without making the other person feel uncomfortable.

6) Hey, you!

“Hey, you!” might sound friendly and informal, but it can often leave a sour first impression. It’s impersonal and can come across as dismissive, as if you can’t be bothered to remember the person’s name.

People generally like hearing their own name. It makes them feel seen and acknowledged. Dale Carnegie, the author of “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” said that a person’s name is the sweetest sound to them in any language.

When you first meet someone, make an effort to remember and use their name. Not only will it make them feel valued, but it also shows respect and attentiveness on your part. A simple “Hello, [Name]” can go a long way in building a positive connection.

7) What do you do?

Early on in my career, I used to think that asking “What do you do?” was a great ice-breaker when meeting someone new. It was my way of showing interest and trying to find common ground.

But over time, I realized that this question can feel intrusive and transactional. It implies that a person’s worth is tied to their job, which can be off-putting, especially if they’re going through a tough time professionally or if they don’t define themselves by their work.

Instead, I’ve found it’s often better to start with more neutral topics or open-ended questions that allow the other person to steer the conversation where they feel comfortable. This can help create a more relaxed and genuine connection right from the start.

8) You look familiar

While it might seem like saying “You look familiar” could be a good conversation starter, it can often have the opposite effect. Rather than feeling flattered, the other person might feel put on the spot, trying to recall where they might have met you before.

In reality, this phrase can create an unnecessary distraction at the start of a conversation. The other person could end up more focused on remembering where they might know you from, instead of engaging with what you’re saying.

It’s better to keep your greeting simple and direct. A friendly “Hello” or “Nice to meet you” should do the trick. Save the detective work for another time.

9) How are you?

While “How are you?” is one of the most common greetings around the world, it can sometimes turn people off when used in the wrong context.

This question can feel too personal when you’re just getting to know someone. It assumes a level of intimacy that might not be there yet. Plus, not everyone feels comfortable discussing their emotional state with someone they’ve just met.

Ttry using a simple greeting like “Hello” or “Nice to meet you”. These phrases are polite, welcoming, and don’t force the other person to share more than they’re comfortable with.

10) What’s good?

This phrase might sound hip and friendly, but it can actually be quite confusing for some people. The phrase “What’s good?” is slang and can be misinterpreted or simply not understood by everyone.

Language and cultural differences can create barriers in communication, and using slang when first meeting someone can heighten these barriers. It’s crucial to use clear, simple language that can be easily understood by everyone.

A safer bet would be using a universally understood greeting like “Hello” or “Nice to meet you”. This ensures that you’re starting off on the right foot, no matter who you’re meeting.

Final thoughts: It’s all about respect

At the heart of all interaction and communication is a fundamental principle – respect. The words we choose to use, especially during our first encounter with someone, can convey our regard for the other person and their individuality.

The philosopher Immanuel Kant once said, “Humanity itself is a dignity.” By choosing our greetings wisely, we are acknowledging this dignity. We are setting the stage for a relationship based on mutual respect and understanding.

What might seem like simple pleasantries can indeed set the tone for our interactions. So next time you find yourself about to say “What’s up?” or “How’s your day going?” to someone you’ve just met, pause and reflect. Is this the most respectful and considerate way to greet this person?

In the end, it’s not just about avoiding phrases that turn people off. It’s about consciously choosing language that makes people feel seen, heard, and valued. That in itself can be a powerful tool for building strong, meaningful connections.