I sometimes find it fascinating how certain people can maneuver their way into having others pay for their meals, cover their expenses, or even do free work for them, all while they barely lift a finger to contribute.
It might start innocently enough—a friend forgets their wallet once, or they promise to pay you back next time and you don’t think twice about it.
But over time, there’s a pattern: they rarely, if ever, actually make good on their word.
And while generosity is a virtue, it can also become a trap if someone continually takes advantage of your goodwill.
From my experience, individuals who get away with this kind of behavior usually share some common traits—subtle patterns that reveal their unwillingness to pitch in like everyone else.
Knowing what to look for can be half the battle. So let’s talk about seven behaviors I’ve noticed—and yes, I’ve had a run-in or two with people who do exactly these things.
1. They conveniently ‘forget’ their wallet
This one is probably the most obvious. When you go out with someone for a meal or an outing, and they suddenly realize—often a little too late—that they left their wallet at home.
I had a former classmate who pulled this move multiple times. The first time it happened, I genuinely believed it. I mean, forgetting things happens to the best of us.
But by the third time, I started to suspect there was more to it.
In many cases, these folks will rely on your sympathy (or even mild embarrassment) to cover them. They might apologize profusely and promise to pay you back, but strangely enough, that payback never materializes.
It’s one thing to forget something once in a blue moon, but if it’s a repeated occurrence, that’s not forgetfulness—it’s a strategy.
2. They always have elaborate reasons for why they can’t chip in
Another pattern involves long, winding explanations about why they just can’t pay their fair share.
Maybe they’re between jobs, waiting for a refund, or saving for a “really important expense.”
There might be an endless list of compelling reasons—and they never seem to change, no matter how much time has passed.
From a psychological perspective, if someone truly values the relationship and wants to be responsible, they’ll find a way to pitch in, even if it’s just a little.
On the other hand, those who consistently dodge financial obligations tend to master the art of spinning a story.
One friend of mine used to say she was saving up for a big work trip. Each time the group decided to do a cost-splitting activity, she’d throw out that same excuse.
Interestingly enough, she never actually went on that elusive trip. If there’s always a new excuse in the pipeline, that’s a red flag.
3. They love freebies but never reciprocate
You might notice that some individuals always manage to show up at events or gatherings where things are free.
Whether it’s a catered networking event, a weekend barbecue at a friend’s house, or a get-together where someone else foots the bill, they’re more than willing to partake.
But when the tables turn, and it’s their chance to host or offer something in return, there’s nothing but radio silence.
Sometimes, they’ll pop up at your home unannounced around dinnertime, hoping you’ll invite them to stay and eat.
Or they’ll ask you to bring them along as a “plus one” to a function that you’ve been invited to—only to vanish when you mention splitting transportation costs.
According to Verywell Mind, reciprocation is a key part of healthy social dynamics. When that balance tips too far in one direction, you’re basically dealing with a relationship that’s all take and no give.
4. They guilt-trip you if you call them out
One of the trickiest behaviors to navigate is the guilt trip. The moment you try to set a boundary or ask for your share back, they’ll flip the conversation and act as if you’re being heartless, stingy, or unfair.
I remember telling a coworker, who had been “borrowing” money for lunches every day, that I needed him to settle up before continuing this arrangement.
He instantly looked hurt and said something like, “Wow, I thought you understood my struggles. I guess I was wrong.”
If you’re not prepared for it, that kind of emotional appeal can make you backtrack and think, “Am I being too harsh?”
But in reality, setting financial boundaries is essential. Guilt-tripping is a common manipulation tactic that extends beyond money matters.
Psych Central highlights that individuals with manipulative tendencies will steer the conversation to make themselves the victim.
Once you recognize the pattern, it becomes easier to stand your ground and politely, but firmly, hold them accountable.
5. They think someone else should foot the bill for their lifestyle
Some people feel entitled to a certain standard of living without putting in the effort to fund it themselves.
They might choose expensive restaurants, high-end shopping, or fancy outings, fully expecting the group—or a generous friend—to pay for it.
If you suggest something more affordable, they’ll say, “Don’t worry about it, you can cover me,” or “We’ll figure out the money part later.”
I once had a friend who insisted on going to premium movie theaters with plush seats and gourmet snacks. It was her idea each time, and she’d sweetly say, “You guys go ahead and book. I’ll just pay you back.”
Except she never did.
You can imagine how awkward it became to remind her, or how easy it was for her to slip out of the conversation at payment time.
People with an entitled mindset often underestimate or dismiss the hard work, time, and resources others pour into making money.
They might shrug it off as, “You earn more than I do,” or “This is no big deal for you, right?” Such assumptions can ruin the trust and comfort in any relationship.
6. They borrow money but take ages to repay—if they ever do
Moochers are often quick to ask for loans with promises of rapid repayment, then vanish into thin air when it’s time to settle up.
By the time you bring it up, they might claim they “forgot,” or they’ll hit you with another story about unexpected bills and financial emergencies.
While true emergencies happen to everyone, the repeated pattern of borrowed money never getting returned is a hallmark of a chronic moocher.
I’ve learned that lending money to friends or acquaintances requires a clear understanding of when and how they’ll pay you back.
If someone doesn’t respect that agreement, it’s often an indicator of deeper issues—like an inability to manage finances or a complete disregard for other people’s resources.
7. They undervalue your time, effort, or resources
One subtle but powerful sign of a moocher is how they treat not just your money, but your time and expertise.
Maybe they ask you for “just a little help” on a project that turns into hours of unpaid labor. Or they beg you to do things for them that they know how to do themselves—but they just don’t feel like it.
And if you say no, they act as if you’re overreacting. This is called “minimization”, and it’s definitely something you shouldn’t tolerate.
I’ve seen this happen with people requesting a “quick favor”—like editing a document or consulting on a business plan—yet they don’t acknowledge the value of that service.
In a professional setting, especially for small business owners who rely on client work, this can be a huge drain. If you don’t protect those resources, someone else will certainly use them up.
In a personal setting, the same dynamic can show up in more subtle ways.
Maybe a family member constantly expects you to drive them around—even though they have their own car—or they rely on your cooking skills whenever you gather for holidays without ever offering to host.
They might frame it as “Oh, you’re just so good at this,” which sounds like praise but is actually a clever way to get out of contributing.
I’ve noticed that when I keep saying “yes” to these requests, they start to feel entitled to my time or energy. And if I dare to set boundaries, they might call me “selfish” or imply I’m making a big deal out of nothing.
That’s exactly what minimization does: it downplays the effort you put in and makes you second-guess your own needs.
So, if someone in your personal circle is consistently undervaluing your time or resources, it might be time to have an honest conversation or rethink how often you say “yes.”
Wrapping up
Navigating relationships with individuals who consistently dodge financial responsibility can be both draining and frustrating.
I find it helps to clearly communicate your expectations, stand your ground about repayments or cost-splitting, and be prepared for a little pushback.
It might feel awkward at first, but it’s ultimately better for your peace of mind and your wallet.
At the end of the day, healthy relationships should feel like a mutual exchange, not a perpetual IOU.
If you’ve recognized any of these behaviors in your own circles, trust your gut and set some firm boundaries.
You’ll be safeguarding not just your finances, but your sense of self-respect and well-being as well.
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