If you can relate to these 7 experiences, you were raised by a genuinely good mother

I was lucky enough to grow up with a mom who made me feel safe, heard, and loved in ways I didn’t fully understand until I got older. 

Sure, she made mistakes like anyone else, but the core of her parenting was kindness and genuine support. 

Whenever I was feeling down or doubtful, she somehow knew what to say. Whenever I was riding high on a success, she was the first to celebrate—even if it was something as silly as acing a spelling test. 

Now, looking back, I realize just how big a deal these seemingly small gestures were in shaping my confidence and overall mindset.

If you notice any of the following seven experiences mirroring your own childhood, chances are you were also raised by a mother who was genuinely good at this whole “raising a human” thing. 

Let’s dive in.

1. She encouraged you to express yourself

I can’t tell you how many ridiculous projects I tried to take on as a kid. 

One week, I wanted to become a magician (I even attempted a levitation trick that almost broke a chair). 

The next, I was sure I’d become an astronaut and started reading about rocket science. 

Through all these phases, my mom never told me to “be realistic.” Instead, she let me explore my crazy ideas and ask questions—lots of them. 

By giving me that freedom, she taught me it’s okay to put yourself out there.

Psychologists often stress the importance of letting kids safely experiment with their interests. 

Dr. John Gottman, known for his work on emotional intelligence, has pointed out how crucial it is for parents to engage with a child’s curiosity rather than dismiss it. 

If your mom created a judgment-free zone for your thoughts, hobbies, and creative pursuits, you grew up with someone who truly valued your individuality. 

That’s a solid foundation for becoming a self-assured adult.

2. She listened (even when it was awkward)

When I was thirteen, I had my first major crush. One night, I decided to spill my guts about it to my mom, and it was super embarrassing, at least for me. 

But you know what? She actually sat there and listened—no sarcastic remarks, no lectures about “puppy love.” 

She just let me talk about my confusing feelings and even offered a bit of advice without trying to run my entire life. 

I remember feeling a weird sense of relief that I could open up without fear of being judged or ridiculed.

That kind of open communication is huge. According to child development experts, kids who feel heard at home are more likely to develop higher self-esteem and better coping mechanisms for stress. 

If you can recall moments when your mom lent a genuine ear—about silly teenage drama, fears, or even your triumphs—she was doing something right. She made communication natural instead of nerve-racking.

3. She called you out, but always had your back

A genuinely good mom doesn’t just shower you with praise; she also tells you when you’re off track. 

My mother had no problem telling me, “Hey, you’re being lazy, and this isn’t who you are. Step it up.” 

The difference was, after calling me out, she’d follow it with, “I believe you can do better.” She saw my potential even when I was too busy playing video games to notice it myself.

This approach—often referred to as an “authoritative parenting style” in psychological terms—strikes the balance between high warmth and structured discipline. 

You don’t grow into a grounded adult without some accountability along the way. 

If your mom was the type to both cheer you on and challenge you, that’s a hallmark of someone who loved you enough to want the best for you.

4. She showed empathy in real life

Growing up, I witnessed my mom handle situations that required real compassion. 

One time, she spent hours consoling our neighbor who’d just lost a loved one. She didn’t rush her, didn’t say “Things will be fine,” but actually listened and responded gently. 

Even as a kid, I picked up on the fact that empathy wasn’t just about feeling sorry for someone—it was about genuinely caring and giving them space to express themselves.

Seeing empathy modeled like that is powerful. If your mother consistently put herself in others’ shoes, she was handing you a lifelong lesson in emotional intelligence. 

This kind of example can stick with you for years, guiding how you treat people at work, in friendships, and in romantic relationships.

5. She taught you that failure wasn’t the end

I still remember how devastated I was when I didn’t make the basketball team in middle school. I’d practiced for weeks, only to come up short. 

My mom found me sulking in my room and said, “It sucks, doesn’t it? But this doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Let’s talk about what else you can do.” 

We ended up focusing on my love for art and technology instead, which eventually played a part in my career path later on.

People who see failures as stepping stones often have someone in their life who taught them it’s okay to fall flat sometimes. 

If your mom helped you see the bigger picture—maybe even turning failures into a reason to explore new paths—she was equipping you with resilience you can tap into for the rest of your life.

6. She believed in your abilities more than you did

One superpower that genuinely good moms have is that they absolutely believe in their child’s abilities. Even more so than their child does. 

For instance, there were plenty of times I doubted myself, especially during my teen years. Maybe it was a tough exam, or a club I wanted to join but was too shy to commit to. 

My mom would constantly remind me, “You’ve got this,” and for a while, I thought she was just being a typical parent. 

But I eventually realized she genuinely believed I could handle challenges way beyond my comfort zone. True enough, I would find out down the road that yes, I was capable of handling them. 

Psychologists refer to this as positive reinforcement, and it can make a massive difference. 

When a parent shows confidence in their kid’s abilities, the kid starts internalizing that belief. It’s like borrowing self-assurance until we build our own stockpile of it. 

If your mom cheered you on when you were at your most vulnerable—telling you that you were smarter, stronger, or more capable than you realized—she helped lay the groundwork for your own self-esteem.

7. She loved you no matter what

Unconditional love sounds like a cliché phrase, but it’s surprisingly rare when life gets complicated. 

My mother and I didn’t always see eye-to-eye (especially during those rebellious years), but she never withheld her love because of a bad grade, a stupid mistake, or even a series of them. 

She made it clear that while she might be upset by my actions, she never stopped caring about me as a person.

That distinction is crucial. Dr. Carl Rogers, a major figure in humanistic psychology, famously talked about how people flourish in environments that provide “unconditional positive regard.” 

It means you’re valued regardless of your flaws or achievements. 

If you felt that from your mom—like she always saw your worth beyond whatever you succeeded or failed at doing—then you had a mother who truly understood what it means to nurture a child’s sense of self.

Wrapping things up, but it’s still a big deal…

If these experiences resonate with you, you can bet your mother played a powerful role in who you are today. 

It’s easy to take these qualities for granted when you’re young, but the older I get, the more I appreciate how my mom’s behavior shaped me in ways I’m still discovering.

Of course, no one’s childhood is perfect. A “good mom” is still a human being with quirks, flaws, and limits. 

But if you saw these traits in action—consistent encouragement, unconditional love, genuine empathy—then you were given an incredible start in life.

It also sets a template for how you might want to show up in the lives of people you care about, whether that’s your future kids, your partner, or your friends.

Until next time, friends.