I’ve been in plenty of negotiations that felt more like mind games than simple discussions.
No matter how prepared you are with stats and talking points, there’s something almost mystical about how body language can change the entire dynamic.
In fact, I’ve noticed that sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you present yourself physically that tips the scale in your favor.
Plenty of experts have chimed in on this. Dr. Albert Mehrabian famously suggested that a large portion of communication is nonverbal—though the exact percentage can be debated, it’s safe to say that how you use your body matters.
When I started my first business, I only focused on the spoken side of pitching and negotiating.
But after a few awkward boardroom meetings (where the vibe was definitely not on my side), I learned that sometimes your posture, gestures, and even your facial expressions can seal the deal more convincingly than a perfectly structured argument.
Below are seven strategies I’ve picked up along the way, each designed to help you project confidence, create rapport, and ultimately secure a better outcome in negotiations.
1. Maintain deliberate eye contact
Ever talk to someone who darts their eyes all over the place while speaking?
It can feel like they’re hiding something—or just not that interested.
That’s why eye contact is such a game-changer.
By looking directly at the other person (without staring them down like a hawk), you’re basically telling them, “I’m fully present here.” You show respect and also signal your willingness to engage.
But let’s be real: intense, nonstop staring can get creepy fast.
A good rule of thumb is to maintain strong contact when you’re speaking and briefly look away when they speak, letting them have the spotlight.
This natural rhythm keeps the conversation balanced and your counterpart at ease.
2. Mirror, but don’t mimic
If you’ve ever sat with someone you like, you may have noticed you naturally adopt a similar posture or movement.
It’s called mirroring, and it’s surprisingly powerful in building rapport.
Researchers found that when two people are genuinely connecting, there’s a sort of subconscious synchronization happening.
Leaning in at the same time, tilting heads at similar angles—it all creates a subtle sense of “We’re on the same page.”
However, there’s a difference between mirroring and flat-out mimicking.
You don’t want to become a copycat—twitching or nodding exactly when the other person does will just raise eyebrows.
Keep it light, keep it natural. If they lean in, you lean in a bit. If they speak calmly, mirror their relaxed pace.
It might sound minor, but it’s an effortless way to make the other person feel understood and more inclined to work with you.
3. Keep your posture open
Have you ever caught yourself crossing your arms during a serious discussion?
I know I have—and it wasn’t because I was upset or defensive, it was just a comfortable position.
But from the outside, it can look like you’re blocking someone out or disagreeing with what they’re saying.
To avoid coming across as closed-off or defensive, keep your posture more open.
That means shoulders back, arms relaxed at your sides or placed on the table, feet planted firmly (or crossed at the ankles if you’re seated).
Tiny shifts in posture can impact our own mental state, and by extension, the atmosphere of a meeting.
Standing or sitting up straight doesn’t just look more confident—it actually makes you feel more confident.
What’s more, an open posture invites collaboration. It signals, “I’m willing to listen and find common ground,” which goes a long way in ironing out tough negotiation points.
4. Use subtle nods (but don’t overdo it)
A small nod or two while the other person is talking can make them feel heard. It’s an acknowledgment that you’re following their train of thought and not just waiting to speak
But a constant bobblehead nod can do the opposite—it might seem insincere or overly eager to please.
I like to use a nod as a simple “Go on, I’m listening” prompt.
Not only does it encourage the other person to open up more, but it’s a gentle way to maintain a positive flow of conversation. It also shows that you’re engaged, which is key in any negotiation.
5. Watch your hands
If you’ve ever caught yourself fidgeting with a pen or tapping your fingers on the table, you might already know how distracting it can be.
In a negotiation, those jitters can come across as nervous energy or impatience.
I prefer to keep my hands either on my lap or lightly folded on the table. When I do gesture, I make sure it’s purposeful—like emphasizing a key point or drawing attention to a crucial figure on a spreadsheet.
Warren Buffett once said, “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it.” While that quote doesn’t specifically reference body language, the principle is the same.
You can lose your leverage in just a few minutes of awkward mannerisms. Steady, intentional hand gestures can help you come across as grounded and sure of yourself.
6. Lean in slightly—but respect personal space
Leaning in is a classic sign of engagement.
Whether you’re seated at a conference table or chatting in a coffee shop, that small shift forward says, “I’m really interested in what you’re saying.”
It can also make you seem more approachable and collaborative.
But there’s a sweet spot. Leaning too much could appear aggressive or invasive, especially if you’re literally in the other person’s face.
In negotiations, it’s crucial to read the room. Some cultures or individuals have bigger personal space bubbles than others.
From my experience, leaning in about an inch or two is enough to convey interest without crowding someone.
It shows you’re actively involved while still respecting their comfort zone.
7. Smile with authenticity
Here’s where a negotiation can turn from tense to surprisingly pleasant.
A genuine smile—one that reaches the eyes—can diffuse tension and create a more positive environment.
It doesn’t mean you’re giving in or letting your guard down; it just humanizes the interaction.
Author and speaker Bob Burg once said, “All things being equal, people will do business with — and refer business to — those people they know, like and trust.”
And let’s be real, it’s tough to appear likable if you’re stone-faced the entire time.
Of course, you don’t want to grin ear-to-ear while discussing price increases or contract details. But a respectful, calm smile at the appropriate times—like greeting them or agreeing on a key point—can make you seem more open to solutions.
It’s a simple tactic, yet it drastically shifts the mood in the room.
Wrapping up
We often focus so much on perfecting our pitch, memorizing stats, or revising offers that we forget the nonverbal cues that are happening the entire time. But these subtle signals can either reinforce your words or undermine them.
Whether you’re haggling for a better contract or trying to make a solid impression on a potential investor, how you carry yourself can influence the outcome in big ways. Think of these seven practices as mini power-ups in your negotiation toolkit.
So give these techniques a try next time you’re at the bargaining table. You might be surprised at how quickly they tip the scales in your favor.
Until next time, friends.
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