Everyone loves to toss around the phrase “Fake it till you make it.” It’s meant to boost your confidence, but there’s a subtle flaw in that advice.
When you pretend to be someone you’re not, you risk setting yourself up for a harsh reality check.
You might score a few quick wins, but the cracks eventually show if you haven’t built a genuine foundation.
I’ve seen people try to bluff their way into opportunities. It might work momentarily, but once real challenges pop up, the lack of actual skill can lead to disaster.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t push your comfort zone. Confidence is critical for moving forward, but it’s often earned rather than manufactured out of thin air.
There’s a real difference between pumping yourself up and blatantly acting like you have expertise when you don’t.
One is healthy self-encouragement — the other can be a delusion.
Let’s dig into why “fake it till you make it” doesn’t always hold up in real life, and how you can replace that mindset with something more sustainable.
Where “fake it” falls short
The idea behind “fake it till you make it” is that outward confidence will eventually become internal confidence. That might seem logical, but true confidence typically grows from repeated competence, not from acting like an expert.
Faking it can breed impostor syndrome.
You’re trying to show the world you’re on top of everything, but deep down you might feel like a fraud.
Even if people believe your act, you’re left with the weight of constantly pretending. That pressure builds over time and can lead to mental or emotional burnout.
Also, if your bluff gets called out, trust evaporates quickly. Relationships hinge on honesty, and professional reputations rely on credibility.
Authenticity has value.
When people see you’re genuine — even if you’re still learning — they’re often more willing to trust and support you.
Why genuine confidence wins
True confidence is like a sturdy house built on a solid foundation.
You know what you’re capable of, and you also know where you’re still growing. That combination of ability and humility makes you relatable.
Clients, teammates, and even bosses can sense that you’re real, and they often respond positively.
When I first ventured into entrepreneurship, I realized that my early efforts to appear “all-knowing” backfired.
People saw through it, and it was embarrassing.
On the flip side, once I owned up to being a work-in-progress, I felt relief.
The stress of trying to look perfect melted away, and ironically, more doors opened because people wanted to help me refine my skills.
Genuine confidence also lets you celebrate your wins without guilt, because you’ve truly earned them. There’s a big difference between feeling proud of your progress versus just relieved you haven’t been caught faking.
The power of competence
I’ve mentioned this before but it’s worth reiterating: competence is the backbone of long-term success. When you invest in learning a skill deeply, your sense of self-assurance grows naturally.
Think about situations where you feel completely at ease—maybe it’s coding, playing an instrument, or presenting on a topic you know inside and out.
That calm self-belief comes from repeated practice.
In contrast, when you bluff, you’re on shaky ground. Any unexpected question can throw you off because you haven’t done the legwork.
Competence doesn’t mean perfection. It means you’ve dedicated enough time and effort to understand the core mechanics of what you’re doing.
When you focus on competence, you’re building the kind of confidence that lasts. No need to fake it, because you actually know your stuff.
Psychological studies on authenticity
Research published in the journal “Personality and Individual Differences” suggests people are more drawn to those who demonstrate genuine warmth and sincerity.
Confidence can be magnetic, but it’s strongest when rooted in reality.
There was another study that indicated how authenticity can increase perceived trustworthiness.
Colleagues or clients are more likely to take your advice or invest in your ideas if they sense you’re being real.
“Fake it till you make it” can sometimes create a gap between your external persona and internal state. Psychologists note that when there’s a mismatch, stress and anxiety levels rise because you’re constantly trying to bridge that gap.
On the flip side, when your actions align with your actual abilities and honest intentions, you reduce that internal tension.
You’re not forced to remember the “act,” so you can focus on genuinely improving.
Why mentorship and feedback matter
Part of real growth involves seeking guidance from people who’ve already walked the path. A good mentor can help you identify your weak spots without making you feel incompetent.
I remember reaching out to someone who was way ahead of me in business. Admitting that I wasn’t “the next big thing” but actually needed help was scary at first, but it turned into a goldmine of advice.
Faking expertise would have robbed me of that opportunity. My mentor wouldn’t have offered detailed insights if I’d acted like I already had it all figured out.
Feedback is another catalyst.
Criticism might sting, but constructive feedback can guide you to level up faster than any amount of faking.
The more you invite feedback—especially from those you respect—the more you refine your craft. That cycle of testing, getting feedback, and improving is how true confidence forms.
The difference between posturing and stepping up
Some people hear the advice “Fake it till you make it” and interpret it as “Act bigger than you are.”
That can come across as arrogance or boastfulness.
But there’s a healthier way to “step up” that doesn’t involve deceit. It’s about giving yourself permission to try something challenging and acknowledging that growth happens through action.
One example:
If you’re unsure about your public speaking ability, you can still volunteer for small speaking opportunities. You’re not faking that you’re an expert speaker. You’re just taking a bold step to improve.
This approach lets you earn your strides one event at a time.
You’ll still feel nerves, but you won’t be lying to yourself or others.
Real stepping up means stretching your current capacity, not claiming you’re beyond it. Over time, those small steps add up, and you’ll actually become the person you’re aspiring to be.
Overcoming impostor syndrome the right way
We often associate “Fake it till you make it” with battling impostor syndrome. Sure, it can give you a short-term boost, but impostor syndrome usually requires deeper work.
The real path forward involves recognizing that growth is continuous.
Believe it or not, almost everyone feels like an impostor at some point, especially when leveling up.
By acknowledging that you’re a learner in new situations, you neutralize some of that fear.
You’re giving yourself permission to be in progress instead of pretending you’re a finished product.
Talking to mentors or peers who’ve faced similar doubts can also be reassuring. They’ll often share stories about feeling out of place at first, reminding you this is normal.
As your competence grows, those impostor feelings typically subside, replaced by measured confidence in your actual abilities.
Authentic presence in networking
Networking events can be a breeding ground for inauthentic posturing. Everyone wants to seem successful and put-together.
But the most memorable connections I’ve made were when I dropped the act.
Honesty about what I was doing and where I was struggling led to deeper conversations and real opportunities.
“Faking it” at a networking event might land you a few superficial chats. Being genuine can lead to partnerships, friendships, and mentorships that last.
People appreciate sincerity, especially in environments where everyone seems to be pitching or showing off.
Stand out by keeping it real.
You’ll also find that others open up to you more because they sense you’re not just chasing validation or trying to sell them on a persona.
Closing it out, but not to be overlooked…
“Fake it till you make it” might give a temporary boost, yet it often undermines genuine development. Pretending you’re already there can block you from building the real foundation that success demands.
Owning where you’re at, seeking mentors, and staying open to feedback has a better payoff. It creates authentic confidence and helps you grow in ways you’ll be proud of later.
Choose competence over pretense.
Stretch beyond your comfort zone, but keep it honest.
That’s how you build the kind of reputation and inner belief that lasts.
Until next time, friends.
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