I’ve always been fascinated by the subtle ways people communicate beyond words.
Body language can make or break first impressions, define how others perceive us, and even influence our own confidence. Yet, most of us are unaware of the small gestures that might be sending the wrong message.
I learned this the hard way. Early in my career, I focused on what I said, not how I carried myself. But over time, I realized that certain unconscious movements were making me come across as insecure—even when I felt confident inside.
Here are seven little-known body language gestures that might be undermining you without you even realizing it.
1) Avoiding eye contact makes you seem untrustworthy
Eye contact is one of the most powerful ways we connect with others. It signals confidence, attentiveness, and trustworthiness. Yet, many people unknowingly avoid it, especially in high-pressure situations.
I used to think I was just being respectful by not staring too much. But in reality, constantly looking away made me seem nervous or even dishonest. People are wired to interpret eye contact as a sign of sincerity—avoiding it sends the opposite message.
If you struggle with this, start small. Make an effort to hold eye contact a little longer during conversations. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time, it will become natural.
Your eyes communicate more than your words ever can—don’t let a lack of eye contact undermine your presence.
2) Fidgeting signals nervous energy
Small, restless movements—tapping your fingers, bouncing your leg, or constantly adjusting your clothes—might seem harmless. But to others, they signal anxiety and a lack of confidence.
I used to fidget without even realizing it. During meetings or conversations, I’d play with my watch or tap my foot under the table. It wasn’t until someone pointed it out that I became aware of how distracting it was—and how it made me seem unsure of myself.
The key is awareness. Start noticing when you fidget and replace it with stillness. Ground yourself in the moment, take a deep breath, and let your presence speak louder than your nerves.
As Leonardo da Vinci once said, “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” The less unnecessary movement you make, the more composed and confident you appear.
3) Shrinking your posture diminishes your presence
The way you hold yourself speaks volumes before you even say a word. Slouching, crossing your arms tightly, or making yourself physically smaller signals insecurity—whether you mean to or not.
I used to catch myself hunching over in conversations, especially when I felt unsure. It wasn’t until I started paying attention to my body language that I realized how much it was affecting my confidence and how others perceived me.
Breaking out of this habit requires more than just straightening your back. It’s about shifting your mindset—releasing self-doubt and embracing the freedom to take up space.
A powerful way to do this is by challenging the mental conditioning that keeps you playing small. That’s exactly what the Free Your Mind masterclass with Rudá Iandê helps with—it guides you through breaking free from limiting beliefs and societal conditioning, so you can show up in life with true confidence.
Your posture isn’t just about body language; it’s a reflection of how you see yourself. If you’re ready to stand taller—literally and mentally—check out the masterclass here.
4) Weak handshakes make a forgettable impression
First impressions matter, and a weak handshake can instantly undermine yours. A limp grip signals hesitation, uncertainty, and a lack of confidence—whether you intend it or not.
Standing tall is one thing, but if your handshake feels uncertain, people will notice. It’s a small gesture, but it carries weight. A firm, intentional handshake communicates trust and self-assurance.
On the other hand, a weak one can make you seem disengaged or unsure of yourself.
This isn’t about exerting dominance—it’s about showing up fully in the moment. When you shake someone’s hand, do it with purpose. Make eye contact. Be present. These small actions create a lasting impression that lingers beyond the initial greeting.
Ask yourself: When you introduce yourself to someone new, are you projecting confidence—or hesitation?
5) Nodding too much undermines your authority
Nodding is a natural way to show you’re listening, but when done excessively, it can send the wrong message.
Instead of signaling engagement, over-nodding can make you seem overly eager to please—like you’re seeking approval rather than standing confidently in your own perspective.
Respect and cooperation are essential in any conversation, but that doesn’t mean you have to agree with everything.
Real confidence comes from being comfortable with your own thoughts and allowing space for differing opinions without feeling the need to constantly affirm others.
Next time you’re in a discussion, be intentional with your nods. Listen actively, but don’t feel obligated to overdo it. Let your presence speak for itself, rather than relying on gestures to gain validation.
When you trust your own voice, you don’t need to nod your way into acceptance—you command respect simply by being fully present.
6) Hesitating before you speak weakens your message
Pausing to gather your thoughts is normal. But when hesitation becomes a habit—starting sentences with “uh” or “um,” trailing off mid-thought, or constantly second-guessing your words—it makes you seem unsure of yourself.
People pick up on hesitation, and they often interpret it as a lack of confidence in what you’re saying. Even if you’re knowledgeable, frequent pauses and filler words can make others question your authority.
The key isn’t to rush or speak without thinking—it’s to trust yourself. Slow down, take a breath, and own what you’re about to say. Silence isn’t your enemy; it’s better than filling space with uncertainty.
When you speak with clarity and conviction, people listen. Your words carry weight only when you believe in them first.
7) Keeping your hands hidden makes you seem untrustworthy
Hiding your hands—whether by keeping them in your pockets, crossing your arms tightly, or tucking them under the table—can make people subconsciously wary of you.
Open hands signal honesty and openness, while concealed hands are often associated with discomfort or deception.
Studies show that we naturally trust those who use open gestures when they speak. When your hands are visible and expressive, people feel more at ease around you. On the other hand, keeping them hidden can create an invisible barrier between you and others.
If you catch yourself tucking your hands away in conversations, make an effort to keep them relaxed and open instead. Use them naturally to emphasize points rather than concealing them out of habit.
Your body language should reinforce your confidence—not create doubt where none exists.
Confidence starts from within
Body language is more than just a set of gestures—it’s a reflection of your inner state. When you carry yourself with confidence, others naturally respond to you with trust and respect.
But if your body language signals insecurity, even unintentionally, it can hold you back in ways you don’t even realize.
The key isn’t to fake confidence or force yourself into rigid postures. True presence comes from within, from breaking free of self-doubt and embracing who you are without apology.
When you release the limiting beliefs that keep you playing small, your body naturally aligns with a stronger, more grounded version of yourself.
That’s why I highly recommend the Free Your Mind masterclass with Rudá Iandê. This masterclass is designed to help you break free from societal conditioning and self-imposed limitations so you can step into life with real confidence and authenticity.
It’s not about quick fixes or surface-level tricks—it’s about transforming the way you see yourself at the core.
If you’re ready to stop second-guessing yourself and start showing up fully in every aspect of your life, check out the masterclass here.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
