Dealing with a narcissistic coworker can be exhausting. They twist conversations, take credit for your work, and always seem to come out on top—no matter the situation.
But you don’t have to play by their rules. With the right words, you can shift the power dynamic and stop them from running the show.
The key is staying calm, standing firm, and using language that subtly redirects their behavior. These clever phrases will help you turn the tables—without stooping to their level.
1) “I’ll need that in writing”
Narcissistic coworkers love to twist the truth. They make promises they never intend to keep, shift blame when things go wrong, and rewrite history to suit their narrative.
One of the best ways to stop this behavior is by insisting on written communication. When they make a claim or commitment, simply say, “I’ll need that in writing.” This forces them to think twice before making false promises and gives you a record of what was actually said.
If they resist, stay firm. You can frame it as a standard workflow practice: “Just so we’re on the same page, can you send that over in an email?” This keeps things professional while making it harder for them to manipulate the situation later.
2) “Let’s loop in…”
Narcissists thrive in one-on-one conversations where they can control the narrative. They bend the truth, distort details, and make you second-guess yourself. That’s why one of the best ways to shut them down is by bringing in a third party.
I once had a coworker who constantly blamed me for missed deadlines—even when the delays were completely out of my control. Every time I tried to explain, they’d twist my words and make it seem like I was the problem.
So I started saying, “Let’s loop in so we’re all aligned.” Suddenly, their tone would change. They’d backtrack, soften their accusations, or even drop the issue altogether.
Narcissists hate accountability. When you involve others, you take away their ability to manipulate the situation—and that alone can make them think twice before trying to throw you under the bus.
3) “That won’t work for me”
Narcissists push boundaries. They expect you to accommodate their needs while disregarding yours, using guilt, pressure, or even charm to get their way.
But here’s the thing—people who set clear boundaries are seen as more confident and respected by their peers. And one of the simplest ways to establish a boundary is by saying, “That won’t work for me.”
It’s direct, firm, and doesn’t invite debate. You’re not explaining yourself or justifying your decision—you’re simply stating a fact. If they push back, repeat yourself calmly or offer an alternative: “That won’t work for me, but here’s what I can do.”
Narcissists don’t like hearing “no,” but when you stand your ground without over-explaining, you take away their power to manipulate the situation in their favor.
4) “I’m not comfortable with that”
Narcissistic coworkers often test the waters to see how much they can get away with. They might pressure you into doing their work, take credit for your ideas, or push ethical boundaries—all while making it seem like no big deal.
Instead of arguing or justifying why something is wrong, a simple “I’m not comfortable with that” shuts it down immediately. It signals that a line has been crossed without inviting debate.
This phrase works because it focuses on your personal feelings rather than accusing them of bad behavior. Narcissists hate looking like the bad guy, so instead of pushing harder, they’ll often back off to protect their image.
5) “I’ll have to get back to you on that”
Narcissists love to put people on the spot. They’ll demand quick decisions, pressure you into commitments, or catch you off guard in meetings—counting on the fact that you won’t have time to think things through.
In the past, I used to feel obligated to give an immediate answer, even when I wasn’t sure. I’d say yes to extra work, agree to things that didn’t feel right, and later regret it. But once I started using “I’ll have to get back to you on that,” everything changed.
This phrase buys you time. It stops them from boxing you into a decision before you’ve had a chance to weigh your options. And most importantly, it puts you back in control—because a well-thought-out response is always stronger than a pressured reaction.
6) “Let’s focus on the facts”
Narcissists are masters of distraction. When confronted, they’ll deflect, exaggerate, or twist the story to make themselves look better—and you look worse.
That’s why it’s important to steer the conversation back to reality. A simple “Let’s focus on the facts” cuts through the noise and forces them to deal with what actually happened, not their version of events.
If they try to derail the discussion with emotions or blame, stay calm and repeat: “I just want to stick to the facts.” It’s hard for them to argue when you’re not engaging in their game—and without drama to feed off of, they often lose their momentum.
7) “I’m not going to discuss this further”
Narcissists thrive on conflict. If they can keep you engaged—arguing, defending yourself, or proving your point—they’ve already won.
The most powerful thing you can do is refuse to play along. Saying “I’m not going to discuss this further” shuts down the conversation entirely. No justifications, no explanations, no room for manipulation.
They may try to bait you into continuing, but stick to your words and walk away if needed. When they realize they can’t control the conversation, they lose their power over you.
Bottom line: Control the conversation, control the outcome
Narcissists rely on confusion, pressure, and emotional manipulation to get their way. But the moment you take control of the conversation, you take control of the outcome.
Research has shown that people who communicate assertively—clearly stating their needs and boundaries without aggression—are more respected in workplace dynamics. By using the right phrases, you shift the power balance without escalating conflict.
You don’t have to outmaneuver or outplay a narcissist. You just have to refuse to engage on their terms. And sometimes, the strongest move you can make is simply walking away.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
