I’ll be honest: first impressions used to intimidate me.
Whether I was stepping into a meeting with a potential client, being introduced to someone at a networking event, or even joining a video call with new colleagues, I’d always stress about how I was coming across.
Over time, though, I realized there are simple, powerful ways to stand out in those first crucial moments. Ready to make a truly memorable first impression?
Let’s dive into seven little-known psychological tricks that can make that happen.
1. Focus on genuine curiosity
Have you ever noticed how quickly we can spot a phony? Whenever someone is feigning interest—nodding along mechanically, eyes glazed over—you can sense it immediately.
Genuine curiosity, on the other hand, is like a magnet; people can’t help but gravitate toward someone who truly wants to know about them.
As Dale Carnegie, the famed author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, once said, “You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
That quote is gold when it comes to first impressions. When you lead with genuine curiosity—asking open-ended questions, listening intently, and following up on what the other person says—your authenticity shines.
In practical terms, you might ditch the superficial “Where do you work?” script and instead ask something that invites a deeper response, like, “What’s been exciting you lately?” or “What new projects are you most pumped about?”
That shift in language can quickly steer the conversation into interesting territory, and you’ll stand out from the hordes of people who just go through small-talk motions.
2. Leverage subtle mirroring
I first stumbled upon the concept of mirroring during a trip abroad. I was chatting with a local entrepreneur, and without realizing it, I caught myself mimicking her posture—leaning forward, resting my elbows on the table when she did, smiling when she smiled. Oddly enough, that conversation flowed like we’d been friends for years.
Psychologists call this “the chameleon effect,” and it’s been backed by research showing that when we subtly mirror someone’s body language, we build rapport faster.
It’s a deep, human instinct: we tend to like people who feel familiar, and seeing someone echo our movements or gestures subconsciously tells our brain, “Hey, we’re on the same wavelength.”
The key word here, though, is subtle. If someone catches you trying to mirror them move-for-move, you’ll come off as a try-hard or downright creepy.
Instead, try a gentle reflection of their posture—if they’re relaxed and leaning back, do the same. If they speak calmly, lower your voice slightly to match their tone. Small, natural gestures are enough to spark that feeling of connectedness.
3. Use names with respect
“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language,” Dale Carnegie wrote. It’s so simple but so true!
I used to be terrible at remembering names. I’d introduce myself to a roomful of people and then realize, five seconds later, I couldn’t recall half of them.
So I started using a simple strategy: the moment I catch someone’s name, I repeat it back immediately—“Great to meet you, Sarah!”—and I aim to use it a couple of times throughout our exchange, especially toward the end of the conversation. This repetition cements the name in my memory and signals to that person that I value them enough to keep track of who they are.
There’s also a subtle psychological payoff here: hearing our own name triggers a positive emotional response. It’s like a gentle pat on the back for our sense of identity.
Just make sure not to overdo it. If you’re peppering every sentence with the person’s name, it shifts from flattering to bizarre. A few well-placed mentions work wonders.
4. Show you’re fully present
Have you ever talked to someone who checks their phone every two minutes, glances around the room, or keeps fiddling with something on the table? It’s distracting and makes you feel unimportant, right?
I’ve mentioned this before but it’s worth repeating: presence is one of the biggest gifts you can give another human being.
When you’re meeting someone for the first time, silence your phone and keep it out of sight. Maintain comfortable eye contact, but don’t stare them down like you’re trying to hypnotize them. Lean in slightly to convey interest. Nod, smile, and respond to what they say in a thoughtful way. All of these signals show that you’re genuinely there, in that moment, with them—and that’s rare enough nowadays to really stand out.
5. Offer a sincere compliment (but keep it unique)
Compliments are tricky territory. On the one hand, they can break the ice and set a positive tone for the interaction. On the other, a generic compliment—“Nice shoes!”—can feel manufactured or shallow.
The psychological trick here is to notice something truly specific about the person and compliment that instead.
Years ago, I was at a business summit where I met a consultant who was wearing a really eye-catching lapel pin. Instead of a generic comment, I said, “I love that pin. Did it come from a meaningful place?” She lit up and told me a story about how it was her grandfather’s. We bonded instantly. One compliment created a genuine conversation piece and made her feel truly seen.
Trust me, if you’re going for a compliment, make it count. It’s not about flattery; it’s about showing you actually notice them as a person.
6. Read the room’s energy and match it (then lead it)
When you walk into a room full of strangers, you can often sense the vibe—maybe it’s energetic and buzzing, or maybe everyone seems stiff and formal.
If you want to make a positive first impression, start by matching the room’s energy so you don’t come off as jarringly out of place. Then, once you’re in the flow, gradually introduce the energy you’d like to see.
For instance, if the setting is subdued—imagine a quiet networking event at a local co-working space—don’t charge in like a stand-up comedian working the crowd. Instead, ease in with a calmer demeanor, then see if you can gently elevate the mood by telling a light anecdote or asking engaging questions.
On the flip side, if you’re at a big industry conference with laughter and chatter everywhere, stepping in too timidly might make you fade into the background. Meet the lively energy first, then guide the conversation toward something more meaningful.
It’s a technique rooted in emotional intelligence: you sense others’ feelings, reflect them initially so they feel understood, and then lead the atmosphere to a more engaging place. Skilled negotiators and sales pros use this all the time, but it’s equally effective when you’re just trying to leave a great first impression on someone new.
7. Take the conversation beyond small talk
Closing that gap between strangers often hinges on the depth of the conversation. Sure, small talk can break the ice, but if you stay in that shallow end too long, you’ll blend in with everyone else they’ve chatted with that day.
If you sense the other person is open to it, shift gears into something more thought-provoking.
Ask them about a passion project, a challenge they’re facing at work, or even a personal goal they’re excited about. This nudge toward a more meaningful exchange can really set you apart. People rarely forget the person who made them feel comfortable enough to open up—especially in a short first encounter.
Wrapping things up
These seven psychological tricks might seem straightforward, but they carry a surprising amount of punch.
I’ve found that you don’t have to be the most charismatic person in the room to stand out; you just have to be genuinely curious, present, and conscious of those subtle signals that make people feel respected and valued.
And let’s be real—first impressions don’t just happen at formal gatherings or big conferences. They happen in everyday encounters: your next Zoom call, the new colleague joining your team, or the potential client who pops by your office unexpectedly.
Each interaction is an opportunity to make a small but memorable mark.
Until next time.
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