Deception is a cunning adversary, often wrapped in seemingly harmless words.
Master manipulators know this all too well.
They subtly weave their agendas into everyday conversations, undermining your confidence while maintaining a facade of innocence.
At face value, these phrases can seem benign—even supportive—but when employed strategically by skilled manipulators, they slowly chip away at your self-esteem, leaving you vulnerable to further manipulation.
Understanding this is crucial, especially for entrepreneurs who can encounter manipulators in various forms—be it a business partner, client, or competitor.
Recognizing the signs equips you to better navigate these interactions, preserving your confidence and ensuring your business thrives:
1) “You’re too sensitive.”
In the expansive world of entrepreneurship, resilience is a valued trait.
Yet, manipulators often exploit this by using phrases that question your emotional stability.
The classic phrase, “You’re too sensitive,” is a perfect example.
On the surface, it may seem like an innocent observation or even advice to toughen up in the face of adversity.
However, when used repeatedly and inappropriately, it begins to undermine your confidence.
Manipulators use this phrase to invalidate your feelings and reactions.
It’s a subtle way of asserting dominance by making you question your own emotional responses.
By making you feel like you’re overreacting or too emotional, they can deflect blame and avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
Everyone has the right to their feelings and reactions—don’t let anyone use this phrase to make you doubt your emotional intelligence or resilience.
2) “I was just joking!”
This phrase allows them to hide behind humour while delivering hurtful or undermining comments.
If you confront them about the comment, they quickly dismiss your concerns as you ‘not being able to take a joke’.
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Over time, this can cause you to question your own judgment and make you more susceptible to their manipulation.
This happened to me once during a business negotiation: A potential partner repeatedly made snide remarks about my approach, and when I expressed my discomfort, he dismissed it by saying he was “just joking”.
It made me question whether I was being overly sensitive or if he was indeed crossing a line.
The late Maya Angelou had a powerful quote that applies perfectly here: “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
3) “It’s for your own good.”
A phrase that manipulators often employ is “It’s for your own good”.
This is a tactic used to justify their actions, making you believe that they are acting in your best interest, even when they aren’t.
They use this phrase to take control and make decisions on your behalf, undermining your ability to make choices for yourself.
It’s a subtle form of dominance that can erode your self-confidence over time.
I’ve seen this pattern in some business relationships, where one party makes decisions for the other under the guise of it being ‘for their own good’.
To counteract this manipulation tactic, it’s important to reassert your agency and make clear that you are capable of deciding what’s best for you.
My video on personal freedom hacks provides some useful strategies to help regain control over your life and decisions:

4) “You just don’t get it…”
Saying this phrase can be particularly destructive as it undermines one’s intelligence and understanding.
A manipulator uses this phrase to assert their perspective as the ‘correct’ one, dismissing your viewpoint and causing you to second-guess your own understanding.
In a world that often values power and dominance, it’s important to remember that no one has the right to belittle your understanding or experiences.
We all have unique perspectives and insights that are valid and valuable.
As I’ve often said, every challenge is an opportunity for growth and learning.
Even if you don’t understand something immediately, use that as a stepping stone to expand your knowledge and perspective.
Remember what Carl Sagan once said: “One of the greatest gifts adults can give—to their offspring and to their society—is to read to children.”
5) “You always…” or “You never…”
Absolutist phrases like “You always…” or “You never…” are classic tools in a manipulator’s kit.
These statements are usually an exaggeration and serve to amplify your perceived flaws or mistakes.
By using these phrases, manipulators can make you feel consistently inadequate or at fault, undermining your confidence over time.
‘They create a narrative where you’re always in the wrong, which can be incredibly damaging to your self-esteem.
This tactic is commonly used in situations where the manipulator doesn’t want to take responsibility for their actions or wants to shift the blame onto you.
Remember, nobody is perfect—we all have our strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures.
It’s important to acknowledge this and not let absolutist statements define your self-worth.
In line with this, I’ve created a video that discusses the illusion of happiness and why chasing it can make us miserable.
Instead of pursuing perfection or constant joy, we should embrace life’s challenges and complexities.
This perspective can lead to a more authentic and satisfying journey through life:

6) “But you said…”
Uttering this phrase might seem harmless at first glance—after all, holding people accountable for their words is fundamental to any relationship or interaction—however, manipulators often use this phrase to trap you in past statements and deny your capacity to evolve or change your mind.
In their hands, “But you said…” becomes a tool to invalidate your present feelings or perspectives based on past expressions.
It’s a way to undermine your confidence in your own growth and evolution.
We all have the right to change our minds as we gather new experiences and insights.
Our thoughts and beliefs are not set in stone but are fluid and subject to change.
This is a key aspect of personal growth and self-awareness, something I deeply believe in and promote.
7) “I know you better than you know yourself!”
The final phrase manipulators often use is “I know you better than you know yourself.”
This statement is not only invasive but also incredibly dismissive of your self-awareness and personal understanding.
Manipulators use this phrase to gain control, asserting that they have a better understanding of your thoughts, feelings, and motivations than you do.
This tactic can cause you to question your own self-perception and undermine your confidence in your ability to make decisions for yourself.
However, remember that no one knows you better than you know yourself.
You are the expert on your own experiences, feelings, and desires.
Trust in your self-knowledge and don’t let anyone else define who you are.
The power of self-awareness
Understanding manipulation tactics and the subtle ways they can undermine your confidence is a crucial aspect of self-awareness.
These phrases, seemingly harmless on the surface, can slowly erode your self-esteem and autonomy if left unchecked.
Recognizing them for what they are is the first step towards reclaiming your power and confidence.
Whether it’s in a personal relationship or a business setting, it’s important to remember that you have agency over your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
No one has the right to manipulate you or make you feel inferior.
As you navigate through life’s complexities, remember that every challenge offers an opportunity for growth.
Embrace these moments of self-discovery and let them shape you into a stronger, more resilient individual.
Remember Eleanor Roosevelt’s words: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Stand firm in your resolve to protect your mental and emotional well-being, and never let manipulative phrases shake your confidence or dictate your identity.
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