7 little-known body language cues that signal someone is secretly judging you, according to psychology

There was a time when I felt like everyone was constantly evaluating me, and it was overwhelmingly uncomfortable.

I was the woman at networking events who’d leave early, convinced that every crossed arm or sideways glance was a silent critique.

It was exhausting, living in constant fear of judgement. And more often than not, I felt like I was failing to meet these perceived standards.

But then I stumbled upon something fascinating in my exploration of psychology: 7 little-known body language cues that signal someone is secretly judging you. Understanding these cues turned my experiences on their head.

In this article, I’m going to share these insights with you. My hope is they’ll help you navigate your interactions with a bit more confidence and a lot less unnecessary self-doubt.

Let’s dive in.

1) The sideways glance

This was the first body language cue that really opened my eyes. You see, people tend to glance sideways when they’re making a judgement. It’s a subtle cue, but once you know to look for it, you’ll see it everywhere.

The sideways glance isn’t always negative – sometimes it’s just a sign of curiosity. But when it’s accompanied by a certain tightness around the eyes or mouth, it can indicate judgment or disapproval.

I remember being at a networking event and noticing someone doing exactly this while I was talking. It was unsettling, but knowing what it meant gave me an unexpected advantage.

Rather than retreating into my shell, I asked them directly about their thoughts on what I was saying. Their surprise was palpable, and we ended up having a productive conversation that might not have happened otherwise.

Next time you notice someone giving you a sideways glance, don’t panic. Instead, use it as an opportunity to engage them in conversation. You might be surprised at the result.

2) The crossed arms

Crossed arms can be a sign of discomfort or disagreement, and it’s a universal signal that someone is putting a barrier between themselves and others.

I remember being at a business meeting, presenting an idea I was passionate about. As I glanced around the room, I noticed one of the investors had crossed his arms. Immediately, I felt a pang of unease.

That’s when I remembered a quote by famous psychologist Amy Cuddy: “Our bodies change our minds, and our minds can change our behavior, and our behavior can change our outcomes.”

Recognizing his body language, I took a moment to adjust my approach. Instead of plowing ahead, I paused and asked for his thoughts. It broke the tension, opened up a dialogue, and ultimately led to a more constructive discussion.

Crossed arms may not always mean judgement, but they often indicate resistance. Keep an eye out for this cue – it might just be the sign you need to shift your approach or open up the conversation.

3) The furrowed brow

This is a universal sign of concern or disagreement, and it’s often accompanied by a slight frown.

I remember vividly a time when I was sharing my business plans with a close friend. As I enthusiastically laid out my ideas, I noticed his brow furrowing. I felt my heart sink – was he judging my plans?

But instead of letting this derail me, I decided to address it directly. “You look concerned,” I said, “What are your thoughts?”

His response surprised me. He wasn’t judging me negatively; he was worried about the risks I was taking. His furrowed brow wasn’t a sign of disapproval, but of concern for my wellbeing.

Remember, a furrowed brow isn’t always negative judgment. It could be a sign of worry or concern too. Don’t jump to conclusions – instead, use it as an opportunity to invite open dialogue and deepen your understanding of the other person’s perspective.

4) The quick glance away

When someone is judging you, they may quickly look away when your eyes meet. This act is often subconscious and can indicate discomfort or disapproval.

A few years back, I was pitching a new business idea to a potential client. As I explained the benefits and potential growth, I noticed he would quickly glance away each time our eyes met. It was almost as though he was avoiding direct eye contact.

This reminded me of a study conducted at Kyoto University in Japan that showed how maintaining eye contact can be intense and cause discomfort, especially when there’s a disagreement or judgement involved.

Taking this into account, I decided to shift my approach. Instead of trying to maintain constant eye contact, I allowed more natural breaks in our gaze, making the conversation less intense.

This minor adjustment seemed to put him at ease and our conversation flowed more smoothly after that.

5) The fake smile

We’ve all seen it – that tight-lipped, insincere grin that doesn’t quite reach the eyes. It’s often a sign that someone is not genuinely pleased or in agreement with what’s being said.

I recall presenting at a conference once. I was proud of the presentation I’d put together and as I looked out to the audience, I saw a sea of smiles. However, one stood out to me – it was a tight-lipped, forced smile from a fellow speaker.

I was initially taken aback, but I realized this was just another body language cue. Instead of getting flustered, I finished my presentation and later approached him to ask for his feedback.

As it turned out, he had some concerns about one of the points I had made in my presentation. His fake smile was a mask for his reservations.

Remember – not all smiles are genuine. If you notice a smile that doesn’t quite reach someone’s eyes, it could be a sign they’re secretly judging you or disagreeing with what you’re saying.

Don’t let it dishearten you. Instead, use it as an opportunity to engage and seek feedback.

6) The constant interruption

Now, this one isn’t visually perceptible like the others, but it’s a powerful indicator of judgment all the same – the constant interruption.

This happened to me during a dinner party with some old colleagues. I was sharing my latest project when I noticed one of them continually interrupting me. Every time I began to explain something, she’d jump in with her own opinion or change the subject entirely.

That’s when I recalled a quote from renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers: “When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good.”

Her constant interruption was her way of passing judgment on my project – she wasn’t really listening. So, I decided to address it directly and politely asked for a few more minutes to finish sharing.

If someone is not allowing you the space to express your thoughts fully, they may be mentally critiquing what you’re saying. But don’t let it discourage you. Stand your ground and ask for the space you need to communicate effectively.

7) The excessive agreement

Surprisingly, the last cue isn’t a sign of disagreement, but rather excessive agreement. It might seem counterintuitive, but when someone agrees with everything you say without offering any input of their own, they might be judging you.

I once had a business partner who would always nod and agree with every idea I presented. At first, I thought it was great to have such an agreeable partner.

But over time, I realized that his constant agreement wasn’t because my ideas were always stellar, but rather, he was silently judging them and not voicing his concerns.

It’s a tricky situation to navigate, but it’s important to ensure open and honest communication in any relationship. So, I started asking for his thoughts explicitly and encouraged him to share any reservations he might have.

Here’s a practical takeaway: If you notice someone agreeing with everything you say without contributing their own thoughts or ideas, ask them directly for their input.

Encourage them to share their opinions. Their feedback might give you a new perspective and foster more honest communication.

Conclusion

Understanding body language cues is like learning a new language – it can open up a whole new world of communication.

But remember, these cues are just indicators, not definitive proof of judgment. The key is to use them as tools to foster open dialogue and better understand others’ perspectives.

Here’s my final piece of advice: Don’t let the fear of judgment hold you back. Use these cues not as a reason to retreat, but as an opportunity to engage, communicate, and connect more effectively.

And most importantly, always approach your interactions with empathy and understanding. You never know what someone else might be going through.

In the end, it’s not about avoiding judgement but about fostering genuine connections built on understanding and respect. After all, that’s what effective communication is truly all about.