I never knew how to express love when my kids were younger. Here’s how I’m making up for lost time

When you’re a young, ambitious entrepreneur, your business can feel like your firstborn. You pour endless hours into it, watching it grow and evolve with a sense of pride.

But, in my case, my actual firstborn came along not too long after I’d launched my first start-up. And then came my second child. Suddenly, I found myself juggling the demands of fatherhood alongside the pressures of running a business.

Back then, I saw love as something that was expressed through providing – working hard to ensure that my children had everything they needed. It was about putting food on the table, keeping a roof over our heads, and carving out a successful business that they would one day inherit.

But as anyone who’s been in this position knows, the demands of entrepreneurship can be all-consuming. Meetings with investors, late-night brainstorming sessions, weekends spent troubleshooting tech issues – they all took time away from being present with my kids.

Looking back now, I realize that while I was able to express love through provision, I struggled to show it in other ways.

The softer side of parenting – the hugs and bedtime stories, the heart-to-heart talks, and being there for soccer games or ballet recitals – often got drowned out by my work commitments.

Fast forward to today, with my kids now teenagers and my business stable and thriving. I’ve reached a point where I can take a step back from the day-to-day operations and reassess my priorities.

And in doing so, I’ve recognized the areas where I fell short as a parent when they were younger.

Now, I’m on a mission to make up for lost time.

To learn how to communicate love in ways that go beyond providing materially for them. And in this journey of personal growth and discovery, I’ve found that there are many parallels between nurturing a business and nurturing a family.

In this article, let’s explore my journey of learning to express love differently and how it’s transforming not only my relationship with my kids but also my approach to leading my business.

Actively seeking connection

When I first embarked on this journey, I had to face the reality that I didn’t know how to connect with my kids on a deeper level. So, where did I start? I took a step back and started observing.

I watched them interact with their friends, listened to the music they loved, and paid attention to what they were passionate about.

And then, I decided to step into their world. If they were into video games, I’d sit down and play with them. If they were talking about a new band, I’d ask them to introduce me to their music. This was my way of showing interest in their lives.

But it wasn’t just about being present physically. It was about being emotionally available as well. So, instead of giving generic responses when they shared their day with me, I started asking more questions. I made an effort to dig deeper into their experiences and feelings.

And here’s the thing – teenagers are smart.

They can tell when you’re genuinely interested versus when you’re just going through the motions. So, this wasn’t something that happened overnight. It took time for them to see that my interest was genuine and that I was making a concerted effort.

The result? I’ve seen our relationship transform in beautiful ways. We’re communicating more openly, and there’s a newfound depth to our connection that I hadn’t felt before.

Reimagining love beyond provision

As an entrepreneur, I’ve always equated love with provision. After all, in business, providing for your team, your customers, and your stakeholders is a sign of success. It seemed only natural to carry this mindset into my parenting.

But as I began to actively seek connection with my children, I realized how narrow my previous understanding of love had been. Yes, providing for their material needs was important, but it wasn’t the whole picture.

Love is also about being there—physically and emotionally—for the people we care about.

There’s a prevailing belief that the more successful you are in your career, the more love you can provide for your family. That’s the myth we’re fed, particularly in the business world. However, my journey has led me to challenge this notion.

I’ve learned that while success can certainly help provide a good life for your family, it doesn’t automatically equate to expressing love in the ways that truly matter. Love goes beyond just material provision—it encompasses time, attention, and emotional connection.

Putting connection at the forefront

Once I recognized the need for a deeper connection with my children, I had to figure out how to put it into action. Here’s what worked for me, and it might work for you too.

Firstly, I made a commitment to be more present. This meant consciously setting aside time each day, free from work-related distractions, to spend with my kids. Whether it was sharing a meal, watching a movie, or simply talking about their day—it was about quality time.

Secondly, I learned to listen more and talk less. As entrepreneurs, we’re used to leading conversations and making decisions. But with my kids, I found that they opened up more when I simply listened without trying to ‘solve’ their problems.

Lastly, it was important for me to show vulnerability. I started sharing more about my day, my struggles and successes at work. I wanted them to see that even as a parent and an entrepreneur, I am human and I don’t have all the answers.

Through these steps, I’ve been able to foster a deeper connection with my kids—a connection that goes beyond just providing for their needs. And it’s this connection that’s helping me make up for lost time.

Embracing a broader perspective

As I’ve journeyed through this process of redefining love and connection, I’ve come to realize a few essential truths that have not only helped me become a better parent but also a more self-aware individual.

Firstly, it’s crucial to take responsibility for our own actions and situations—even when they’re not directly our fault. I had to accept that my initial approach to parenthood, while well-intentioned, wasn’t giving my kids what they truly needed.

Acknowledging this didn’t mean blaming myself; it was about empowering myself to make changes.

Secondly, we need to recognize the influence of societal expectations and conditioning. For years, I believed that being a good parent meant being a good provider.

But that’s not the whole truth. We have to question these societal narratives and find our own understanding of what love and parenting mean to us.

Lastly, this journey has taught me the importance of aligning my life with my true nature. In business, we often talk about authenticity and staying true to your brand’s core values.

The same principle applies in our personal lives. We need to stay true to who we are and express love in ways that align with our authentic selves.

To summarize, here are the key takeaways:

  • Take responsibility for your situation and empower yourself to make changes.
  • Question societal expectations and redefine them based on your personal values.
  • Align your life with your true nature and express love authentically.

This journey has been an eye-opener for me, and it’s far from over. I’m still learning every day how to be a better parent and a better person.

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Emily Rhodes

Emily Rhodes is a writer and researcher exploring how mindset, behavior, and technology influence entrepreneurship. She enjoys breaking down complex psychological concepts into practical advice that entrepreneurs can actually use. Her work focuses on helping business owners think more clearly, adapt to challenges, and build resilience in an ever-changing world. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about behavioral economics, enjoying Texas barbecue, or taking long walks in nature.

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