There’s an unsettling reality that crept up on me—I wasn’t as good a person as I thought, and it made itself known in the way I talked to my kids.
It wasn’t a comfortable realization.
The moment of truth dawned when I caught a glimpse of my reflection, not in a mirror, but in the innocent eyes of my children.
And let me tell you, the image was far from perfect.
Being a parent and an entrepreneur is a balancing act.
Sometimes, in the hustle of running a business, we forget the impact our words can have on our little ones.
I’m learning to do better, to be better—so, here’s my journey toward changing the way I communicate with my children. I
t’s not just about being a better parent but about being a better person:
1) Awareness is the first step
The journey to self-improvement often starts with a moment of realization.
For me, it was seeing the disappointment in my kids’ eyes.
As an entrepreneur, I’m accustomed to making difficult decisions and having tough conversations.
However, I realized I was carrying this harshness into my conversations with my children—the first step was recognizing this.
As business owners, we’re no strangers to feedback and constructive criticism—it’s how we grow and adapt—but it was time to turn this lens onto myself.
Our children learn from us, not just in our actions, but in our words too.
Realizing that I was setting the wrong example made me reevaluate my approach.
Being aware of your shortcomings is the starting point for positive change.
2) My personal wake-up call
I’ll never forget the day my daughter mirrored my behavior.
She was playing with her toys and a little dispute arose between her and her younger brother.
Instead of resolving it peacefully, she started using the same harsh tone I used during our work-related discussions at home.
It was like looking into a mirror, and what I saw was not pleasant; it was a wake-up call, a striking realization that my words were shaping their behavior.
This served as a reminder that kids absorb everything around them, especially the way we speak and react.
It’s essential to model the type of communication we want them to emulate.
3) The power of positive language
Positive language has a profound impact on children.
Research has demonstrated that using positive communication can significantly improve a child’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.
In contrast, negative language can lead to increased aggression and lower self-esteem in kids.
This was a hard pill to swallow, knowing that my words could have such a far-reaching impact on their lives.
It’s not just about avoiding negative words, it’s about encouraging and supporting them in a way that builds their confidence and self-worth—using words that foster resilience and instill a positive self-image.
This research served as a crucial guide in my journey, steering my efforts towards creating a more positive communication environment at home.
4) Practicing patience
Mastering the art of patience was my next step.
As an entrepreneur, time is a precious commodity, and I often found myself rushing through conversations with my kids.
However, I realized that this was not about time management, but about giving them the attention and respect they deserved.
It’s about understanding that their concerns, no matter how trivial they may seem to us as adults, are significant to them.
Practicing patience means listening to their stories, answering their questions and being present in the moment—setting aside our adult worries and giving them our undivided attention.
In doing so, we not only communicate respect towards them, but we also teach them the importance of patience and active listening.
5) Apologizing doesn’t show weakness
One day, after a particularly stressful business meeting, I snapped at my son over a small issue.
The look in his eyes made me realize the weight of my words; I had hurt his feelings, and it was my responsibility to mend them.
I sat him down, looked him in the eye, and sincerely apologized for my harsh words.
As adults, we sometimes forget that saying sorry is not a sign of weakness but a demonstration of strength and maturity—needless to say, it was a humbling experience for me.
This moment taught me the importance of apologizing when I’m wrong.
It showed me that acknowledging our mistakes is a necessary part of growth—both as a person and as a parent.
Any parent should consider this as a vital lesson to impart to their children that it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as we learn from them and make amends.
6) Making communication a two-way street
Improving communication isn’t just about changing the way I talk, but also about encouraging my kids to express themselves freely.
Fostering an environment where they feel safe to share their feelings and thoughts was a significant part of my journey.
It’s about asking open-ended questions that invite them to speak, listening to their responses, and validating their feelings.
This encourages them to engage more in conversations and teaches them the importance of expressing themselves.
By doing this, not only was I teaching them a valuable skill, but I was also learning more about their world from their perspective.
7) The change starts with us
At the end of the day, the most crucial aspect of this journey is understanding that the change starts with us.
Our actions and words set the tone for our children’s behavior and mindset.
To raise respectful and kind individuals, we need to model these qualities ourselves.
It’s not just about telling them what to do but showing them through our actions.
This realization has been a guiding principle in my journey towards better communication with my kids.
Each day is a new opportunity to demonstrate the values I want them to learn and embody—respect, kindness, patience, and understanding.
Final thoughts: It’s an ongoing journey
Understanding the impact of our words and actions on our children is a profound realization.
It’s akin to unveiling a mirror that reflects not only our strengths, but also our weaknesses.
What’s key is not simply the realization, but the commitment to change.
Changing the way we talk to our kids isn’t a one-time task; it’s an ongoing journey of self-improvement and understanding.
It’s about acknowledging that we are their first role models, their first teachers.
Our words shape their world, mould their self-esteem, and influence their behavior.
As we navigate the winding road of parenthood while balancing our entrepreneurial pursuits, let’s remember to approach each conversation with kindness, patience, and respect.
Let’s strive to not just tell them how to be better, but show them through our actions.
It’s a humbling reminder that our actions speak louder than words and that the best way to teach good behavior is to practice it ourselves.
After all, as James Baldwin said, “Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”
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