9 social mistakes men with poor communication skills always make (without realizing it)

Ever notice how some conversations leave you feeling uplifted and energized, while others feel like you’re talking to a brick wall?

Communication is a two-way street, yet some men seem to unknowingly create roadblocks that stall genuine connection.

I’ve seen it happen countless times—both in my personal life and in business environments here at Small Biz Technology.

And the truth is, you can have all the knowledge or the best ideas in the world, but if you communicate poorly, it’s easy to be misunderstood or overlooked.

Below, I’ll break down nine key social mistakes that hold men back from effective communication. Let’s dive right in.

1. They don’t really listen

This might seem obvious, but true listening is a rare skill. I’m talking about the kind of listening where you’re not just waiting for your turn to talk; you’re genuinely absorbing what the other person is saying.

Unfortunately, men with poor communication skills often appear to be listening while their minds are racing to form a response.

They might nod or say “uh-huh” at all the right times, but the second the other person stops talking, they jump in with their own story or perspective.

What’s the fix?

Slow down, mentally note what the other person is saying, and respond to their points before tossing in your own. And if you’re not sure how to respond, try asking a follow-up question. It shows you actually care about what’s being said.

2. They dominate the conversation

If you’ve ever been stuck listening to someone monologue for ten minutes straight without so much as a pause, you know exactly how draining it is.

Yet some guys do this all the time: they hold center stage, cracking jokes, sharing stories, or offering unsolicited advice, without giving others the chance to chime in.

I get it: maybe you’re passionate about the topic at hand. Or maybe you want to make sure your point is heard.

But dominating the conversation can make the other person tune out—or worse, resent you for not reciprocating.

In one of my earlier posts (I’ve mentioned this before but it’s worth reiterating), I talked about how crucial it is to practice the art of conversation as a dialogue, not a monologue. When you give others space to talk, it signals respect and opens the door for genuine collaboration.

3. They’re oblivious to nonverbal cues

Communication doesn’t begin and end with words.

In fact, research from body language experts like Dr. Albert Mehrabian suggests that a big chunk of how we interpret communication comes from nonverbal signals: posture, gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact.

Men who struggle socially often overlook these cues.

They might not notice that the person they’re talking to is inching away, avoiding eye contact, or looking impatient. As a result, they plow forward with the conversation when, really, they should pivot or even wrap things up.

One trick I’ve found handy is to briefly scan the other person’s posture and facial expressions every so often.

If you notice them leaning in and making eye contact, keep going. If you see crossed arms, furrowed brows, or forced smiles, consider shifting gears or asking, “What do you think?” It’s a simple way to re-engage and show you’re paying attention.

4. They never ask questions

“How’s your day going?” “What do you think about that?” “Have you experienced something similar?”

These questions might seem small, but they’re the lifeblood of a balanced conversation.

Yet a lot of men with shaky communication skills skip the questions altogether.

They talk, share, vent, and rant, but never pause to inquire about the other person’s perspective. You see how that could get old fast, right?

Simon Sinek once said, “Listening is not understanding the words of the question asked, it’s understanding why the question was asked in the first place.”

If you want to foster genuine connection, show curiosity about the other person’s thoughts and experiences. It’s amazing how quickly people open up when they feel heard and valued.

5. They use “one-upmanship” as a default response

Picture this: you share a story about your recent hiking trip, and instead of responding with interest, the other guy jumps in and says, “Oh that’s nothing. I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro last year!” Then they launch into their heroic tale.

“One-upping” might seem harmless—maybe it’s just friendly competition.

But when it happens all the time, it comes across as dismissive and self-centered. It’s as though the guy is constantly saying, “Whatever you did, I did something better.”

Winston Churchill once quipped, “Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Part of that courage involves resisting the urge to overshadow someone’s story with your own. Instead, show appreciation or empathy for what they just shared.

You’ll be amazed at how the conversation deepens when you make the other person feel like the main character in that moment.

6. They shy away from any conflict or tough conversation

Confrontation can be uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s necessary.

Men who lack strong communication often avoid difficult discussions entirely, hoping the problem will vanish on its own. Spoiler alert: it usually doesn’t.

By dodging tough talks—whether it’s giving feedback at work, addressing issues in a relationship, or discussing finances—you miss the chance to resolve underlying tension. The result is often resentment and confusion on both sides.

I learned this the hard way back in my corporate days.

I once let a team member consistently underperform because I was too uneasy to initiate a difficult conversation.

The issue only grew larger, and the eventual discussion was ten times more tense than it needed to be. If you’re feeling discomfort about something, address it in a calm, respectful manner sooner rather than later. It’s like ripping off a Band-Aid.

7. They rely too heavily on filler words and vague language

Let’s be honest: we all toss in an “um” or “like” now and then. But there’s a difference between an occasional filler and a constant avalanche of them.

The more cluttered your speech, the harder it is for people to follow your point.

Men who haven’t honed their communication skills often pepper every sentence with “uh,” “y’know,” or “kind of.”

By the end of the conversation, the main message feels diluted. It can come off as uncertain or unprepared—two impressions you usually want to avoid.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” The same goes for the words you choose. Make it a habit to speak concisely and clearly. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about being mindful of how your words land.

8. They offer solutions instead of empathy

We’ve all been there: you’re sharing a personal struggle, and the other person jumps straight into “fix-it” mode.

Sure, practical solutions have their place, but often, what people want first is empathy, not a quick fix.

Men who struggle socially may miss cues that the other person just wants to vent or seek emotional support.

Instead, they’ll say, “Here’s what you need to do…” without acknowledging what the person feels.

Before you know it, the conversation turns frustrating because the person sharing feels ignored or invalidated.

One approach is simple: after you hear about someone’s issue, pause, and ask them if they want advice or just a listening ear. This small moment of clarity can work wonders in building trust and connection.

9. They forget basic courtesy

It may sound trivial, but courtesy and politeness are cornerstones of effective communication.

Unfortunately, some men overlook small gestures like saying “please,” “thank you,” or “sorry” at the right moments. They might also show up late without acknowledging it, talk over people, or scroll through their phone mid-conversation.

This isn’t about being overly formal—it’s about respect.

As Stephen Covey famously noted in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”

A large part of understanding is showing that you value the other person’s time and presence. That means turning off notifications, making eye contact, and using polite, respectful language.

Over the years, I’ve managed teams in different countries and seen how these small gestures can make a huge difference. A simple “Thank you for your time” or “I appreciate your patience” can help build rapport instantly—especially in a business setting.

Final words

That’s it for this one, folks. I hope you found some value here.

Effective communication isn’t something we’re magically born with; it takes self-awareness, practice, and a willingness to adapt.

If any of these mistakes hit close to home, don’t panic.

We’ve all been there. The point is to recognize the patterns that might be limiting genuine connection.

Whether it’s becoming a more active listener, working on your nonverbal cues, or simply asking more questions, each small shift can have a big impact on your personal and professional relationships.

Improving the way we communicate is a game-changer—not just in social settings but also in career growth and entrepreneurship. After all, the world can’t know how brilliant your ideas are if you’re not articulating them well.

Until next time, here’s to bridging communication gaps and building stronger, more meaningful connections.