8 signs you’re handling career and motherhood better than you think, according to psychology

One morning, I caught myself juggling a work call while attempting to pack lunches, respond to a text from my kid’s teacher, and wrangle the family dog back inside—all before 9 a.m.

Later that day, I saw a thread on Instagram where several busy moms vented about feeling overwhelmed and guilty. It got me thinking about how often we doubt ourselves when we’re actually doing far better than we give ourselves credit for.

I’ve found that modern motherhood, layered with professional ambitions, can feel like a constant balancing act.

But once in a while, I notice small markers in my own life—and in the lives of clients and friends—that signal we’re more successful at handling everything than we might assume.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re on the right track, here are eight signs that might reassure you.

1. You notice a sense of satisfaction in your day-to-day

It might seem obvious, but one hallmark that you’re doing well is recognizing those moments when you genuinely feel content—even if they’re brief.

You might laugh with a coworker during a Zoom call or smile as your child shows you a new drawing. Savoring these small joys can be an understated but powerful indicator.

From a psychological standpoint, even fleeting instances of positive emotion can boost resilience. If you see yourself pausing to acknowledge these little pockets of happiness, then you’re likely handling things better than you think.

I’ve noticed that, whenever I can appreciate the fun in my schedule—a midday brainstorming session that unexpectedly goes well or a calm hour with my kids after dinner—it’s a sign I’m blending my roles in a way that’s personally fulfilling.

2. You adapt your schedule without feeling perpetual guilt

We all know the standard nine-to-five doesn’t work for every working parent, so there’s a lot of improvisation that has to happen.

If you find that you can swap meetings, shift tasks, or occasionally delegate responsibilities without collapsing under the weight of “I should be able to do everything myself,” you’re likely more in control than you realize.

It took me some trial and error to figure out how to adapt. At first, I felt terrible whenever I left a meeting early to pick up a sick child from school. But with time, I started to notice that being flexible didn’t mean I was neglecting my professional responsibilities. Quite the opposite—learning to pivot helped me become more efficient.

According to Psychology Today, cognitive flexibility is linked to better problem-solving skills and reduced stress. So if you’re routinely shifting your schedule with minimal hand-wringing, you’re demonstrating a key psychological strength.

3. Your kids show signs of confidence and independence

Nothing reassures a parent more than seeing their children thrive on their own.

Maybe your child confidently explores a new hobby without you hovering, or they tackle a school project with determination. These moments of independence can be subtle confirmations that you’re providing a supportive environment, despite the busy demands of a career.

Sometimes, I’ll observe my daughter quietly running through her homework checklist or my son getting creative with a coding project. Instead of being a sign that I’m “not around enough,” it often indicates they’re comfortable figuring things out on their own.

It’s a classic example of what developmental psychologists refer to as autonomy support, where children are encouraged to explore and problem-solve. If your kids are stepping out on their own in these ways, it might be a reflection of a balanced home life that fosters independence.

4. You feel purposeful about where your career is heading

Even if you’re not at your dream job just yet, a sense of direction about your professional life is a strong indicator that you’re managing your roles well.

Maybe you’re learning new skills or you’ve set your sights on a new position. Perhaps you’re collaborating on a side project that excites you. In any case, it’s that feeling of forward momentum that can often get lost in the daily grind.

I remember reading an article on Farnam Street about how purpose keeps us grounded amidst chaos.

If you’re able to articulate personal and professional goals—like exploring a particular career path or scaling a side hustle—and you’re making steady progress, it’s a sign you’ve built space in your life for growth.

Even small steps, like taking an online course in the evenings or reaching out to a mentor, mean you’re effectively juggling your responsibilities and still moving ahead.

5. You prioritize self-care, even if it’s imperfect

I’ll be the first to admit that my “me time” often looks like twenty minutes of reading on the sofa before bed or a quick walk during my lunch break.

But if you’re still carving out moments to recharge, you’re doing far better than you might think. The reality is that self-care doesn’t have to be an elaborate spa day; it’s about recognizing that you, too, need nurturing.

According to research in Harvard Business Review, regular intervals of rest or recreation—no matter how short—can significantly improve mental clarity, productivity, and emotional health.

So maybe you don’t stick to a strict daily regimen of yoga, but if you manage to do a few relaxing stretches or enjoy a hot cup of coffee in silence, you’re taking crucial steps to maintain balance. Small rituals go a long way toward sustaining your energy for both work and family.

6. You have people in your corner

One subtle, yet powerful, sign that you’re on the right path is the presence of supportive relationships.

This can be the coworker who respects your non-negotiable family time, the friend who checks in to see how you’re holding up, or the family member who offers a helping hand without judgment.

If you find you can lean on others and also provide support in return, it’s often evidence that you’re keeping things together more smoothly than you might assume.

I’ve learned that strong social connections reduce feelings of isolation and stress, especially for working moms. Adam Grant once wrote about “relationship generosity,” suggesting that when people help each other in workplaces or at home, everyone becomes more resilient.

If you’re fostering this kind of environment—where you can give and receive assistance—you’re successfully integrating your roles and building a healthy network of support.

7. You bounce back from setbacks

In my early years of running a digital consulting agency, I used to panic whenever a client project went sideways at the same time one of my children got sick. I’d feel like everything was a crisis.

Over time, though, I noticed that I was rebounding faster from these challenges. Maybe I’d craft a backup plan or reach out to a teammate for help, all while rearranging childcare.

This ability to recover quickly is often called resilience, and it’s a strong psychological indicator of good coping skills. Whenever you face a tough day and still manage to come out the other side with a sense of perspective, it suggests you’re effectively balancing your career obligations and your parental duties.

Even if it doesn’t feel like a smooth process, the fact that you can recalibrate and keep going means you’re doing something right.

8. You reflect on your experiences and adjust as needed

One final sign that you’re handling more than you realize: you engage in self-reflection. Perhaps you journal about your day or talk through what worked and what didn’t with a trusted friend.

This type of introspection means you’re not just rolling with the punches; you’re learning from them.

I like to take a few minutes on Sunday evenings to think about the highs and lows of the previous week—both in my professional life and in my family life. Doing this helps me see patterns that need shifting, like if I’ve been scheduling too many late-night calls that interfere with bedtime routines. It’s a chance to celebrate what went right and refine what went wrong.

Cal Newport often emphasizes that thoughtful analysis of one’s schedule leads to steady improvement in both work and personal domains. If you’re doing this in your own way, it shows a drive to evolve, which bodes well for career and parenting success alike.

Moving forward

When you’re in the thick of it, it’s easy to fixate on the occasional meltdown or missed deadline and feel like you’re failing.

But as these signs show, there are many ways to recognize that you’re actually holding it together better than you might think. If you notice moments of joy, purposeful action, and a willingness to adapt, it’s a reflection of psychological strength.

I truly believe that part of the journey is giving ourselves grace for the days that don’t go as planned. Every small win—like blocking an hour for self-care or encouraging your child’s independence—shows progress.

Over time, these little indicators build up into a bigger picture: you’re striving, you’re learning, and you’re doing a whole lot right. Keep going. You’ve got this.