7 types of friends who will drag you down in life, according to psychology

We all know that the people we surround ourselves with have a huge impact on our success, mindset, and overall happiness.

But not every friend is a good influence; some will lift you up, challenge you—and push you to be better—while others will quietly (or not so quietly) hold you back.

The tricky part? The friends who drag you down don’t always do it on purpose.

Some are negative without realizing it, some drain your energy, and others keep you stuck in old habits that no longer serve you.

Psychology tells us that certain types of friendships can be more harmful than helpful.

If you want to grow—whether in business or in life—you need to recognize these patterns before they take a toll on your motivation and mental clarity.

Here are seven types of friends who can subtly (or not so subtly) drag you down—and why it might be time to set some boundaries:

1) The friend who constantly complains

We all have bad days, and sometimes, venting to a friend can be a healthy way to process frustration.

However, some people don’t just vent—they complain constantly.

These friends always have something negative to say; their job is terrible, their relationships are a mess, and nothing ever seems to go their way.

While you might start out feeling sympathetic, over time, their negativity can drain your energy and shift your mindset in the wrong direction.

If someone in your life is always complaining but never taking action to improve their situation, it might be time to set some boundaries. Your focus should be on solutions, not endless cycles of problems.

2) The friend who never supports you

A few years ago, I had a friend who I thought would always have my back.

Every time I shared a new goal or idea—whether it was a business venture or just a personal challenge—they would brush it off, change the subject, or worse, make me feel like I was being unrealistic.

At first, I didn’t think much of it—I mean, not everyone has to be interested in my goals, right?

But over time, I realized that their lack of encouragement was affecting my confidence.

Instead of feeling motivated, I started second-guessing myself.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”

The best friends push you to grow, adapt, and chase your ambitions—not discourage you from even trying.

Real friends don’t have to agree with everything you do, but they should at least want to see you succeed.

3) The friend who only shows up when they need something

We’ve all had that one friend: The one who disappears for months—until they need a favor.

Suddenly, they’re texting, acting like nothing’s changed, and you already know what’s coming next: “Can you help me out with something?”

At first, you tell yourself they’re just busy.

Life gets hectic, right? But over time, it becomes obvious.

They aren’t really here for you, they’re here for what you can do for them—and honestly? It hurts.

Sometimes growth means letting go of people who only take and never give back.

Always keep this in mind: Friendship should be a two-way street.

4) The friend who always competes with you

A little friendly competition can be healthy, but there’s a big difference between a friend who pushes you to be better and one who secretly wants to outshine you at every turn.

I once had a friend who turned everything into a competition—work, fitness, even relationships.

If I achieved something, they had to one-up me; if I was struggling, they somehow had it worse.

Instead of celebrating each other’s wins, it felt like we were constantly keeping score.

Psychologist Alfred Adler, known for his work on individual psychology, said, “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”

In other words, we’re all human, and comparison is natural—but when competition becomes the foundation of a friendship, it stops being a friendship at all.

A real friend doesn’t see your success as their loss.

If someone in your life treats everything like a contest, ask yourself: Are they actually supporting you, or are they just trying to stay ahead?

5) The friend who agrees with everything you say

You’d think having a friend who always agrees with you would be a good thing.

No arguments, no disagreements—just constant validation.

But in reality, that kind of friendship can quietly hold you back.

I once had a friend who never challenged me.

No matter what decision I made—good or bad—they nodded along, telling me I was right.

For a while, it felt nice, but then I realized something: I wasn’t growing, and I wasn’t being pushed to see things differently or consider new perspectives—I was just stuck in my own bubble.

If no one ever challenges you, how do you develop that intelligence?

How do you learn to see beyond your own blind spots?

A true friend isn’t afraid to call you out when you’re wrong or push you to think bigger.

6) The friend who thrives on drama

Some people just love chaos!

If there’s gossip, they’re in the middle of it; if there’s conflict, they somehow make it worse.

At first, it might seem entertaining—like having a front-row seat to a reality show.

But over time, their constant drama starts creeping into your life.

You find yourself stressed over problems that aren’t even yours, drained from conversations that go nowhere, and caught in conflicts you never asked to be part of.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

If you feel exhausted after spending time with someone, ask yourself why: Are they bringing value to your life, or just nonstop chaos?

Real friendships bring peace, not constant tension.

7) The friend who doesn’t respect your boundaries

I used to have a friend who just didn’t get boundaries.

If I was busy, they’d still insist on making plans; if I needed space, they’d guilt-trip me for not being available.

And if I ever said no? They’d push until I gave in.

At first, I told myself they just cared a lot but, over time, I realized that real friends respect your time, energy, and limits—they don’t constantly test them.

If someone in your life refuses to respect your boundaries, it’s not a sign of deep friendship—it’s a sign of control.

Remember: A healthy friendship allows space for both people to grow, recharge, and say no without fear of backlash.

If someone makes you feel guilty for protecting your own well-being, it might be time to rethink the relationship.

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Picture of Emily Rhodes

Emily Rhodes

Emily Rhodes is a writer and researcher exploring how mindset, behavior, and technology influence entrepreneurship. She enjoys breaking down complex psychological concepts into practical advice that entrepreneurs can actually use. Her work focuses on helping business owners think more clearly, adapt to challenges, and build resilience in an ever-changing world. When she’s not writing, she’s reading about behavioral economics, enjoying Texas barbecue, or taking long walks in nature.

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