10 subtle habits that make a person difficult to be around, according to psychology

Ever wonder why some people just rub you the wrong way? It’s often not about major personality clashes, but subtle habits that can make a person tricky to be around.

Psychology has a lot to say about this. It’s not always the big, glaring issues that make us want to avoid someone, but the small, almost unnoticed behaviors that can be surprisingly off-putting.

In this article, I’ll break down 10 of these subtle habits. Understanding them not only helps you navigate your social circles more effectively but also offers insights into how you might be inadvertently pushing people away.

It’s about fostering better connections – a vital aspect in every entrepreneur’s journey. So let’s dive in.

1) Chronic negativity

We’ve all had that one colleague or acquaintance who seems to exist in a perpetual state of gloom, casting a pall over every interaction.

Psychologists refer to this as chronic negativity. It’s a habit that not only affects the individual’s outlook on life but also impacts those around them.

The renowned psychologist Martin Seligman once said, “Pessimism is escapable. Pessimists can learn to be optimists.” However, when someone is constantly negative, it can be draining for those in their vicinity, often making them difficult to be around.

This habit affects more than just social interactions. For entrepreneurs, it can create a toxic work environment, hindering progress and innovation. Identifying and addressing chronic negativity is key to creating a positive and productive atmosphere.

Remember, it’s okay to empathize with someone’s struggles but being continually exposed to negativity can affect your own mindset and productivity. So be aware, and take the necessary steps to mitigate its impact.

2) Constantly interrupting

I recall a time when I was in a meeting with a business partner who had a habit of interrupting. He would cut me off mid-sentence repeatedly, making it almost impossible for me to get my point across. This habit made him challenging to communicate with and honestly, tough to be around.

When someone constantly interrupts, it not only disrupts the flow of conversation but also signals a lack of respect for the other person’s thoughts and ideas.

Interrupting isn’t just about rudeness. It’s about a lack of active listening which is an essential skill in any social interaction, including business. For entrepreneurs, actively listening to your team members, clients, or partners can lead to better understanding and collaboration.

So next time you’re in a conversation, catch yourself before interrupting. Allow the other person to finish their thought. It can make all the difference in how you’re perceived and how effectively you communicate.

3) Lack of empathy

Let’s get real here. We’ve all encountered someone who seems to lack basic empathy. They disregard or dismiss our feelings, leaving us feeling unheard and undervalued. For me, it’s a friend who often downplays my struggles, making me feel like my emotions are invalid.

Lack of empathy isn’t just unpleasant in personal relationships; it also leads to significant problems in professional settings.

Empathy is the bedrock of healthy communication and collaboration. When this is missing, it can make a person difficult to interact with and can even affect morale and productivity.

Whether it’s in our personal lives or at work, striving to be more empathetic can make us easier to be around and more effective in our interactions.

4) Being overly critical

We all know someone who can’t resist pointing out mistakes or shortcomings, often in a harsh or unconstructive way. I had a boss once who had a knack for focusing solely on what went wrong, completely overlooking what was done right.

Too much criticism can make a person difficult to be around and can also stifle creativity and motivation. Constructive feedback is essential for growth and improvement. But being overly critical without offering positive reinforcement can create a negative environment.

As entrepreneurs, it’s important to strike a balance between providing constructive criticism and fostering a supportive atmosphere that encourages growth and innovation.

5) Always seeking attention

Ironically, it’s often the people who crave attention the most that can be the most draining to be around. I once worked with a team member who was always the loudest in the room, constantly seeking validation and drawing attention to herself.

Carl Jung, the renowned psychologist, once stated, “People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul.” Sometimes, constant attention-seeking behavior is a cover for deeper insecurities or issues.

While it’s natural to want recognition for our achievements, constantly seeking attention can make interactions exhausting and one-sided. In business, it’s essential to foster an environment where everyone feels seen and heard, not just those who shout the loudest.

So next time you find yourself tempted to dominate the conversation, pause. Consider if your need for attention is overshadowing your ability to genuinely connect with others. After all, the true connection often comes from listening, not just speaking.

6) Inability to apologize

We’ve all come across individuals who find it hard to say “I’m sorry,” even when they’re clearly in the wrong.

This inability to admit mistakes and apologize can be challenging to deal with and can strain relationships. An apology is an essential tool for mending mistakes and maintaining healthy relationships.

In business, admitting when you’re wrong shows integrity and openness to learning. A leader who can’t apologize creates an environment where accountability is one-sided, which can lead to resentment and frustration.

Remember, admitting your mistakes and apologizing when necessary is a sign of strength, not weakness. It makes you more approachable and easier to work with.

7) Dishonesty

Dishonesty, even in small doses, can be a deal-breaker. I remember how shocked I was when I discovered a colleague had lied about completing a project. That single act of dishonesty changed the way I viewed our working relationship.

Albert Bandura, a prominent psychologist, stated,

“Moral agency is manifested in both the power to refrain from behaving inhumanely and in the proactive power to behave humanely.

Moral agency is embedded in a broader socio-cognitive self-theory encompassing self-organizing, proactive, self-reflective and self-regulatory mechanisms rooted in personal standards linked to self-sanctions.”

In simpler terms, honesty is a crucial part of our moral framework.

Honesty isn’t just about telling the truth; it’s about being authentic and transparent in our interactions. As entrepreneurs, fostering an environment of honesty and trust is fundamental to team cohesion and productivity.

So strive for honesty – it fosters trust, strengthens relationships, and ultimately makes you someone people want to be around.

8) Lack of personal boundaries

Let’s be real.

We’ve all felt uncomfortable around someone who doesn’t respect personal boundaries. I recall feeling smothered by a friend who would constantly invade my personal space and time, without considering if it was appropriate or convenient for me. Respecting personal boundaries is crucial to healthy relationships and interactions.

Overstepping personal boundaries can make people feel uncomfortable and disrespected. As entrepreneurs, it’s important to respect the boundaries of our team members, clients, and partners – it creates a more comfortable and respectful environment.

Respecting boundaries isn’t just about physical space; it’s also about recognizing emotional, time, and digital boundaries. Understanding this can make interactions more pleasant and fruitful.

9) Over-promising and under-delivering

It might seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the people who promise the most can be the most difficult to be around. I’ve had experiences with individuals who would make grand promises but rarely deliver, leading to disappointment and trust issues.

Trust is built on consistency and reliability, and over-promising and under-delivering can quickly erode it. In business, it’s better to under-promise and over-deliver than the other way around. It’s important to be realistic about what we can deliver to maintain trust and credibility.

So keep your commitments in check. Delivering on your promises not only builds trust but also makes you someone people can depend on.

10) Taking things personally

It’s tough to be around someone who takes everything personally. I remember feeling on eggshells around a friend who would interpret any constructive feedback as a personal attack.

Psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Taking things personally often stems from insecurity and a lack of self-acceptance.

In business, it’s crucial to separate personal feelings from professional feedback. It allows for growth and improvement. But if someone consistently takes things personally, it can make open and honest communication difficult.

Remember, not everything is about you. Developing the ability to take feedback and criticism constructively can make you more resilient and easier to work with.