Ever met someone who just gets people? The kind of person who can strike up a conversation with anyone and instantly make them feel comfortable?
It’s not magic—it’s social intelligence.
Socially intelligent people have a way with words. They know exactly what to say to build trust, make connections, and leave a lasting impression.
And the best part? You don’t have to be born with this skill—you can learn it.
In fact, there are certain phrases that naturally create warmth and connection.
Use them the right way, and you’ll find it easier than ever to build strong relationships—whether in business or everyday life.
1) “I totally get how you feel.”
Nothing builds a connection faster than feeling understood.
When someone shares a frustration, a struggle, or even an exciting moment, socially intelligent people don’t just nod along—they make it clear that they get it.
By saying, “I totally get how you feel,” or a similar phrase like, “That makes so much sense,” you’re showing that you’re tuned in to their emotions.
You’re validating their experience, making them feel heard and valued.
And when people feel understood, they naturally open up more. That’s how real bonds are formed—one moment of shared understanding at a time.
2) “That reminds me of a time when…”
People connect through shared experiences.
I remember once meeting a fellow entrepreneur at a networking event.
He was talking about how overwhelming it felt to juggle everything—clients, marketing, operations, and still trying to have some kind of personal life.
Instead of just saying, “Yeah, that sounds tough,” I shared my own story about a time when I felt completely swamped running my first business.
The moment I did, his whole demeanor changed. He relaxed, laughed, and said, “Wow, you get it.” From that point on, the conversation flowed effortlessly.
When you relate to someone’s experience with your own, you’re showing them that they’re not alone.
Just be careful not to shift the focus entirely onto yourself—keep it brief and relevant, so it deepens the conversation instead of derailing it.
3) “What do you think?”
People love to feel like their opinions matter.
In fact, studies show that when someone asks for our input, our brain releases dopamine—the same chemical linked to pleasure and motivation.
It makes us feel valued, respected, and more engaged in the conversation.
Socially intelligent people know this, which is why they make a habit of asking, “What do you think?”
Whether it’s about a big decision, a casual topic, or even just where to grab lunch, this simple question makes the other person feel important.
And when people feel important, they naturally become more open and connected to you.
4) “That’s a great point.”
Everyone wants to feel smart and appreciated.
Socially intelligent people know that building a bond isn’t just about sharing their own thoughts—it’s about recognizing the value in what others say.
A simple phrase like, “That’s a great point,” or “I never thought of it that way,” instantly makes the other person feel heard and respected.
And here’s the thing: when people feel valued, they’re more likely to engage with you on a deeper level.
It creates a positive feedback loop—when you acknowledge their insights, they’ll be even more interested in what you have to say next.
5) “I really appreciate that.”
Gratitude is one of the easiest ways to strengthen a connection.
I make it a point to express appreciation whenever someone does something thoughtful—even if it’s small.
Whether it’s a colleague offering helpful advice or a friend just being there to listen, I don’t just say a quick “thanks” and move on. Instead, I say, “I really appreciate that.”
It makes a difference. People remember when their efforts are noticed, and they feel more connected to those who genuinely appreciate them.
And honestly, I’ve found that the more I express gratitude, the stronger my relationships become.
6) “I don’t know.”
Most people think they need to have all the answers to earn respect. But in reality, admitting when you don’t know something actually makes you more trustworthy.
Think about it—no one likes a know-it-all. When someone confidently says, “I don’t know, but I’d love to hear your thoughts,” it shows humility, openness, and a willingness to learn.
It also invites the other person to share their knowledge, which makes them feel valued.
Socially intelligent people understand that strong connections aren’t built on pretending to be the smartest person in the room. They’re built on honesty, curiosity, and mutual respect.
7) “That must have been really tough (or exciting) for you.”
People don’t just want to be heard—they want to feel understood.
When someone shares a personal experience, whether it’s a challenge they faced or an accomplishment they’re proud of, socially intelligent people go beyond surface-level responses.
Instead of just saying, “Wow” or “That’s cool,” they acknowledge the emotion behind the experience:
- “That must have been really tough for you.”
- “That must have been so exciting!”
This small shift makes a huge difference. It shows that you’re not just listening to their words—you’re paying attention to how they felt.
And when people feel understood on an emotional level, they naturally feel closer to you.
8) “Tell me more.”
The simplest way to build an instant bond? Show genuine interest.
People love talking about their thoughts, experiences, and passions—but most of the time, they don’t get the chance.
Socially intelligent people know this, so they give others the space to open up by saying, “Tell me more.”
It’s an invitation. It shows you’re not just waiting for your turn to speak—you actually care. And when people feel like you truly want to understand them, they’ll naturally feel closer to you.
Words shape relationships
The way we communicate has a profound impact on the connections we build.
A single phrase can make someone feel understood, valued, and genuinely heard—or it can make them feel dismissed and disconnected.
Socially intelligent people understand this. They don’t just talk at people; they engage with them. They use words to create trust, strengthen bonds, and invite deeper conversations.
And the best part? This isn’t some rare talent—it’s something anyone can practice. Because at the end of the day, the strongest relationships aren’t built on grand gestures or flawless social skills.
They’re built on simple, thoughtful moments of connection—one phrase at a time.
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