Some people just don’t realize how they come across.
They say things that make them sound entitled, selfish, or downright rude—without even meaning to.
But here’s the thing: the way we communicate affects everything, from our relationships to our success in business.
The words we choose can either build trust or push people away.
Selfish people, though? They have a habit of using certain phrases that make it clear they’re only thinking about themselves.
And once you start noticing these phrases, you’ll hear them everywhere.
Let’s take a look at eight of the most common ones—so you can spot them in others (and make sure you’re not accidentally using them yourself):
1) “I deserve it!”
Entitlement at its finest.
People who say this often believe they’re owed something—whether it’s a promotion, special treatment, or rewards—without necessarily putting in the effort to earn it.
They assume that just because they want something, they should have it.
Here’s the reality: Success, respect, and opportunities aren’t handed out just because someone thinks they deserve them.
They’re earned through hard work, patience, and collaboration.
When someone constantly says, “I deserve it,” they’re not just making themselves look entitled—they’re also pushing people away.
No one enjoys working with someone who feels the world owes them everything on a silver platter.
2) “That’s not my problem.”
I’ll never forget the time I worked on a group project with someone who lived by this phrase.
We were on a tight deadline, and one of our teammates ran into an issue that could have easily derailed the entire project.
When we asked for help, this one guy just shrugged and said, “That’s not my problem.”
Technically, he wasn’t wrong—it wasn’t his direct responsibility.
In a team setting (whether in business or life), refusing to help when you clearly could is a glaring sign of selfishness.
People who say this phrase don’t realize how bad it makes them look.
It tells others, “I only care about myself,” and that’s not the kind of attitude that builds strong relationships or lasting success.
3) “I don’t have time for this!”
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, yet some people act like their time is more valuable than everyone else’s.
The truth is: Studies show that people who feel powerful are more likely to overestimate how busy they are.
In other words, the more entitled someone feels, the more they convince themselves that their time is too precious for “small” things—like listening to others, helping out, or showing basic patience.
Of course, no one has unlimited time, but there’s a big difference between setting boundaries and dismissing others as if they’re not worth a few moments of attention.
When someone constantly says, “I don’t have time for this,” what they’re really saying is, “I don’t think you’re important enough.”
4) “I’m just being honest…”
Honesty is great—when it’s used with the right intentions.
Some people use “I’m just being honest” as an excuse to be rude, blunt, or even cruel.
The reality is, honesty without empathy isn’t honesty—it’s just entitlement disguised as a virtue.
People who constantly say this phrase often believe their opinions are more important than other people’s feelings.
They see no issue with tearing someone down, as long as they can justify it as “telling the truth.”
But true honesty isn’t about being harsh just because you can.
It’s about communicating in a way that’s helpful, constructive, and considerate of others.
5) “I shouldn’t have to ask.”
I’ve heard this phrase more times than I can count, and every time, it comes from someone who expects others to read their mind.
The idea behind it is simple: “If you really cared, you’d just know what I need.”
But here’s the problem—no one is a mind reader.
Whether it’s in business, friendships, or relationships, clear communication is key.
Expecting people to anticipate your needs without ever voicing them isn’t just unrealistic—it’s selfish.
I used to think the same way until I realized how unfair it was.
If I needed help, support, or recognition, it was up to me to speak up.
Expecting others to magically understand what I wanted only led to resentment and frustration—for both sides.
6) “I did all of this for you!”
At first, this might sound thoughtful—like someone is going out of their way to help.
Yet, more often than not, this phrase doesn’t come from a place of generosity and comes with strings attached.
People who say this usually aren’t doing something purely out of kindness.
They expect something in return—whether it’s praise, gratitude, or a favor down the line.
And when they don’t get it? They make sure you know how much they did for you, turning their “kindness” into a guilt trip.
True generosity doesn’t need to be announced or used as leverage.
If someone constantly reminds you of everything they’ve done for you, chances are, they weren’t being selfless in the first place.
7) “That’s not fair!”
Life isn’t always fair—we all know that.
When someone constantly complains about fairness, what they usually mean is, “I didn’t get what I wanted.”
Of course, unfair situations exist.
However, selfish people use this phrase not to call out real injustice, but to justify their own frustration when things don’t go their way.
They believe they deserve a better outcome, regardless of effort, circumstances, or the bigger picture.
Instead of adapting, improving, or accepting reality, they dwell on how life has supposedly wronged them.
And, in the process, they overlook the fact that fairness isn’t about always getting what you want—it’s about understanding that no one is entitled to special treatment.
8) “I don’t owe anyone anything.”
Technically, that’s true—no one is forced to help others, show gratitude, or be considerate.
But people who live by this phrase fail to see the bigger picture.
Relationships, whether personal or professional, are built on mutual respect and cooperation.
Acting like you don’t owe anyone anything might make you feel independent, but in reality, it pushes people away—no one succeeds alone.
The most successful and well-liked people understand that life isn’t just about taking—it’s about contributing, supporting, and recognizing the value of others.
Those who refuse to see that often find themselves isolated, wondering why no one is willing to help them when they need it most.
Why the way we speak matters
The words we use shape the way people see us—and the way we see ourselves.
Selfishness isn’t always loud or obvious.
Sometimes, it hides in the small things we say without even thinking; but, over time, those words create patterns, and those patterns shape how we interact with the world.
Psychologists have found that entitlement is linked to lower life satisfaction, increased stress, and strained relationships.
People who constantly feel like they deserve more—or that they don’t owe anyone anything—often end up feeling more frustrated and disconnected than they realize.
The good news? The way we speak is something we can control.
A little more awareness, a little more empathy, and a little less entitlement can go a long way toward building stronger connections and a better life!
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