Arguments are a part of life.
Whether it’s with a business partner, a team member, or even a client, disagreements happen.
When emotions run high, things can spiral fast.
But emotionally intelligent people? They know how to navigate tense situations without making them worse.
Instead of reacting impulsively, they use specific phrases that help calm the conversation, defuse tension, and lead to a productive outcome.
The good news is, you don’t have to be born with this skill—you can learn it—and it starts with knowing the right words to say.
Here are eight key phrases that psychologists say can turn an argument into an opportunity for understanding:
1) “I see where you’re coming from.”
When an argument starts, most people just want to feel heard.
But in the heat of the moment, it’s easy to get defensive and focus only on proving your own point.
Emotionally intelligent people take a different approach. Instead of immediately pushing back, they acknowledge the other person’s perspective first.
Saying, “I see where you’re coming from,” doesn’t mean you have to agree—it simply shows that you’re listening and respecting their feelings.
This small shift can change everything.
It lowers defenses, creates space for real conversation, and makes the other person more likely to listen to you in return.
In any disagreement, that’s half the battle won.
2) “Let’s take a step back for a second.”
I used to think that powering through an argument was the best way to resolve it, but I learned the hard way that when emotions are running high, sometimes the best thing you can do is hit pause.
I remember a heated discussion with a business partner over a project deadline.
We were both frustrated, talking over each other, and getting nowhere.
Then I took a deep breath and said, “Let’s take a step back for a second.”
That one sentence changed everything.
It gave us both a moment to reset, cool down, and approach the conversation with a clearer mindset.
Instead of escalating, we were able to find a compromise that worked for both of us.
Sometimes, the fastest way to resolve an argument is to slow it down.
3) “What do you need right now?”
When people argue, it’s rarely just about the words being said.
More often than not, there’s an underlying frustration, stress, or unmet need fueling the tension.
Research shows that when people feel emotionally overwhelmed, their brains shift into a defensive state, making rational thinking much harder.
That’s why emotionally intelligent people don’t just focus on the argument itself—they go deeper.
Asking, “What do you need right now?” forces the other person to pause and reflect on what’s really bothering them.
Sometimes, it’s not even about you—it could be external stress, exhaustion, or something entirely unrelated.
Identifying that need can help shift the conversation from conflict to resolution much faster.
4) “I don’t want this to be an us vs. each other situation.”
Arguments often feel like a battle—two sides trying to “win.”
But the moment a conversation turns into a competition, both people lose.
Emotionally intelligent people know how to reframe the situation.
By saying, “I don’t want this to be an us vs. each other situation,” you remind the other person that you’re not enemies—you’re on the same team, trying to solve a problem together.
This simple phrase can instantly shift the tone of the conversation.
Instead of fighting against each other, you start working toward a solution side by side—that’s when real progress happens.
5) “I want to understand your perspective better.”
I’ve learned that most arguments aren’t really about proving who’s right—they’re about feeling heard.
When emotions are high, people often just want to know that their thoughts and feelings matter.
That’s why I make a point to say, “I want to understand your perspective better.”
It shows that I’m not just waiting for my turn to talk—I genuinely care about where the other person is coming from.
Every time I’ve used this phrase, I’ve noticed a shift.
The other person softens, they explain their side with less hostility, and suddenly, we’re having a real conversation instead of a fight.
Understanding doesn’t mean agreeing, but it does open the door to a resolution much faster.
6) “You might be right.”
It feels natural to defend yourself in an argument.
After all, if you believe you’re right, why would you admit otherwise?
But emotionally intelligent people know that saying, “You might be right,” doesn’t mean surrendering—it means keeping the conversation open.
It diffuses tension by showing that you’re not just digging in your heels.
Ironically, the moment you acknowledge the other person’s perspective, they often become more willing to hear yours.
People don’t expect to be met with openness in a disagreement.
That’s why this phrase is so powerful—it shifts the dynamic from conflict to collaboration in an instant.
7) “I appreciate you sharing that with me.”
Arguments can make people feel vulnerable.
Opening up about frustrations, disappointments, or unmet expectations isn’t always easy, and when someone does, they’re taking a risk.
That’s why emotionally intelligent people acknowledge that effort.
Saying the phrase, “I appreciate you sharing that with me,” reassures the other person that their feelings are valid and heard.
It also lowers defenses, making it easier to move forward without resentment.
People want to feel respected, even in disagreement.
A little appreciation can go a long way in keeping a conversation productive instead of destructive.
8) “Let’s find a solution that works for both of us.”
At the end of the day, arguments shouldn’t be about winning—they should be about resolving.
Emotionally intelligent people don’t focus on proving a point; they focus on finding common ground.
“Let’s find a solution that works for both of us,” shifts the conversation from blame to progress.
It signals that you’re not interested in fighting—you’re interested in fixing.
When both people feel like they’re working toward a shared goal, real solutions happen.
Why the right words matter
If you’ve read this far, you’ve probably realized that diffusing an argument isn’t about being the smartest person in the room—it’s about being the most intentional.
Because words have power.
The right phrase at the right moment can calm emotions, open minds, and turn a tense situation into a productive conversation.
Emotionally intelligent people understand that what you say is just as important as how you say it.
Conflict is inevitable but, if you know how to handle it, it doesn’t have to be destructive.
It can be an opportunity—to strengthen relationships, build trust, and create solutions that work for everyone.
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