Ever feel like you’re constantly overthinking how you come across in public? You’re not alone. A lot of people struggle with self-consciousness, and often, they don’t even realize the little habits that give it away.
The problem is, that the more you focus on how others perceive you, the harder it becomes to just be yourself. And when that happens, certain behaviors start creeping in—subtle actions that can make social situations feel even more awkward.
The good news? Once you recognize these habits, you can start shifting your mindset and feeling more comfortable in your own skin.
Here are some common signs of self-consciousness that many people display without realizing it.
1) They avoid eye contact
One of the most common signs of self-consciousness is avoiding eye contact. It’s not always intentional, but when someone feels overly aware of themselves, they tend to look away more often—especially in conversations.
The problem is, avoiding eye contact can make interactions feel awkward or even distant. It can also give off the impression that someone is uninterested or lacking confidence, even if that’s not the case.
If you catch yourself doing this, try to be mindful of it. You don’t need to stare anyone down, but maintaining natural eye contact can help you feel more present and engaged in any situation.
2) They overthink what to say
I used to do this all the time. Whenever I was in a conversation—especially with people I didn’t know well—I would constantly second-guess myself.
I’d rehearse what I was about to say in my head, wondering if it sounded smart enough, funny enough, or just… normal. And by the time I finally decided to speak, the moment had usually passed.
The irony is, that overthinking made me seem more awkward, not less. Instead of just letting the conversation flow naturally, I would hesitate, pause too long, or sometimes not say anything at all.
If this sounds familiar, try shifting your focus away from yourself and onto the conversation itself. Instead of worrying about saying the “perfect” thing, just respond naturally in the moment. Most people aren’t analyzing your words as much as you think they are.
3) They fidget more than they realize
When someone feels self-conscious, that nervous energy has to go somewhere—and often, it shows up as fidgeting. Tapping fingers, adjusting clothing, playing with hair, or shifting weight from foot to foot are all common ways people subconsciously try to release tension in social situations.
Studies have shown that fidgeting is actually linked to the brain’s attempt to manage anxiety. When a person feels uncomfortable or uncertain, small repetitive movements can provide a temporary sense of relief. But while it might help internally, excessive fidgeting can also signal nervousness to others.
If you find yourself doing this, try grounding techniques like deep breathing or keeping your hands occupied with something subtle, like holding a pen or lightly clasping them together. The more aware you become of these habits, the easier it gets to control them.
4) They laugh even when nothing is funny
When people feel self-conscious, they often use laughter as a way to fill silence or ease tension—even when nothing particularly funny has happened. A slight chuckle after a basic statement, nervous giggles in serious moments, or laughing along with others just to blend in are all signs of underlying discomfort.
This happens because laughter is a social tool. It helps build connections and signal friendliness, but when it’s used out of nervousness rather than genuine amusement, it can come across as awkward or insincere.
If you notice yourself doing this, try pausing before reacting. Not every moment needs a laugh to feel comfortable. Sometimes, a simple nod or smile is all it takes to stay engaged in a conversation without overcompensating.
5) They rehearse their every move
Before walking into a room, they’ve already played out exactly how they’ll enter, where they’ll sit, and what they’ll do with their hands. Before speaking, they’ve carefully chosen the words in their head, adjusting them over and over to make sure they sound right.
Even something as simple as ordering at a café can feel like a performance—repeating the order silently beforehand just to avoid stumbling over the words.
The problem is, that life isn’t a script. Conversations don’t always go as planned, and trying to control every little detail only makes things more stressful.
People who aren’t caught up in self-consciousness don’t think this way—they just move through the world naturally, trusting themselves to handle situations as they come.
Letting go of this habit takes practice, but it starts with reminding yourself that mistakes, awkward moments, and unplanned pauses are all part of being human. The less you try to perfect every interaction, the more natural—and confident—you’ll feel.
6) They apologize too much
Self-conscious people often feel like they’re inconveniencing others, even when they’re not. As a result, they over-apologize—for speaking up, for asking a question, for simply existing in a shared space.
A quick “sorry” here and there might seem harmless, but when it becomes a habit, it can make a person seem less confident and even make their words feel less impactful.
Apologizing when it’s necessary is important, but saying “sorry” for things that don’t require an apology can unintentionally undermine self-assurance.
Instead of defaulting to an apology, try replacing it with a simple “excuse me” or “thank you.” For example, instead of saying “Sorry for taking up your time,” try “Thanks for your time.” Small shifts like this can help break the habit and build a stronger sense of confidence in everyday interactions.
7) They assume everyone is watching them
Self-conscious people often feel like they’re under a spotlight, where every move they make is being noticed and judged. In reality, most people are too focused on themselves to pay close attention to what anyone else is doing.
This is known as the spotlight effect—our tendency to believe that others are observing us much more than they actually are. That awkward pause you made in conversation? That small mistake in how you worded something? Chances are, no one even noticed, and if they did, they forgot about it almost instantly.
The truth is, people aren’t analyzing you nearly as much as you think. And once you realize that, it becomes a lot easier to just be yourself.
Bottom line: people think about you less than you think
The weight of self-consciousness often comes from the belief that every misstep, every awkward pause, and every small imperfection is being scrutinized by others. But psychology suggests otherwise.
In a well-known study on the ‘spotlight effect‘, researchers found that people consistently overestimate how much others notice their actions and appearance.
In reality, most people are too absorbed in their own thoughts to pay close attention to the small things we obsess over.
This means the things you replay in your head—the moments you think made you look foolish or out of place—were likely forgotten by everyone else within minutes. The pressure to be perfect is an illusion, and the freedom to be yourself is always there, waiting for you to embrace it.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
