As parents, we don’t always hear “thank you” as often as we’d like—especially from our adult children. But just because they don’t say it outright doesn’t mean they don’t appreciate us.
Gratitude doesn’t always come in words. Sometimes, it shows up in small actions, subtle behaviors, or the way they choose to stay connected.
The truth is, the little things matter. And when you start noticing them, you’ll realize just how much your kids value you—even if they don’t always put it into words.
Here are seven small but meaningful signs that your adult children truly appreciate you as a parent.
1) They reach out—even if it’s just for small things
You might not get long, heartfelt messages about how much they appreciate you. But if your adult children call or text you—even for small things like asking for a recipe, sharing a funny meme, or updating you on their day—it’s a sign they value your presence in their lives.
Staying connected isn’t always about big gestures. Sometimes, it’s just about knowing you’re someone they can turn to, no matter how small the reason. If they didn’t appreciate you, they wouldn’t bother reaching out at all.
2) They remember the little things that matter to you
I’ll never forget the time my daughter showed up at my house with my favorite coffee—completely unprompted. It wasn’t a holiday, it wasn’t my birthday, and I hadn’t mentioned wanting one. She just knew what I liked and thought of me when she saw it.
That’s when it hit me: appreciation doesn’t always come in words. Sometimes, it’s in the small ways they show they’ve been paying attention.
Whether it’s remembering your favorite restaurant, asking about a hobby you love, or bringing up an old inside joke, these little moments show they care—even if they don’t come right out and say it.
3) They ask for your advice
When kids are young, they ask a million questions. But as they get older, they start figuring things out on their own. That’s why it means something when an adult child comes to you for advice—it shows they respect your opinion and trust your judgment.
Research has found that people are more likely to seek advice from those they see as competent and caring. If your child turns to you when they’re facing a tough decision—whether it’s about their career, relationships, or even just how to fix something around the house—it’s a strong sign that they value your wisdom and experience.
4) They make time for you
Life gets busy. Between work, relationships, and responsibilities, it’s easy for people to lose touch—even with family. That’s why it’s meaningful when your adult children carve out time to see you, call you, or even just send a quick message.
They don’t have to do it. They have plenty of other things competing for their attention. But when they choose to spend time with you, it’s a clear sign that you matter to them—whether they say it outright or not.
5) They show up when you need them
There was a time when I hated asking for help. I didn’t want to burden anyone, especially my kids, who already had so much going on in their own lives.
But then, one day, I had no choice—I needed help moving some heavy furniture. I hesitated before calling my son, but the moment I asked, he didn’t even think twice. He just said, “I’ll be there.”
That’s when I realized something: appreciation isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it looks like showing up—no questions asked. When your adult children step in to help, whether it’s with something big or small, it’s their way of saying, “I see you. I care about you.”
6) They share their achievements with you
When something good happens in their life—whether it’s a job promotion, a new relationship, or even just a small personal win—who do they tell?
If your adult children make a point to share their successes with you, it means they value your pride and support. They don’t just want you to know—they want you to be part of their happiness.
It’s a sign that, no matter how independent they become, your opinion still matters to them.
7) They express themselves the way you taught them to
Not everyone shows appreciation the same way. Some people say “I love you” often, while others express it through actions—helping out, staying in touch, or remembering the little things that matter.
If you look closely, you’ll notice that your adult children likely show love in the way they were raised to. If you always emphasized kindness, they may show their appreciation through small thoughtful gestures. If open communication was encouraged, they may have no problem saying how much they care.
The way they express gratitude is often a reflection of what they learned from you. And that, in itself, is proof of how much they appreciate you.
Bottom line: Love isn’t always loud
Appreciation doesn’t always come in the form of grand gestures or spoken words. More often, it’s found in the quiet moments—the check-in texts, the small favors, the way they remember what matters to you.
Psychologists have long recognized that people express love in different ways. Gary Chapman’s concept of the “Five Love Languages” suggests that while some people verbalize their feelings, others show them through acts of service, quality time, or thoughtful gestures.
If your adult children don’t always say “thank you” or “I appreciate you,” that doesn’t mean they don’t feel it. Look for the subtle signs. Pay attention to how they stay connected, how they show up, and how they weave you into their lives.
Love isn’t always loud—but it’s always there if you know where to look.
Feeling stuck in self-doubt?
Stop trying to fix yourself and start embracing who you are. Join the free 7-day self-discovery challenge and learn how to transform negative emotions into personal growth.
