Have you ever met someone who just seems… difficult?
Conversations with them feel more like a test than a chat. You find yourself walking on eggshells, carefully choosing your words to avoid setting them off.
The truth is, some people naturally have a more rigid, high-maintenance energy—and the way they speak often gives it away.
Certain phrases signal that someone isn’t exactly easygoing. They might be controlling, overly critical, or just unwilling to go with the flow. And if a woman frequently uses these phrases in conversation, chances are she’s not as laid-back as she might think.
Let’s take a look at the seven phrases that reveal when someone isn’t the most relaxed person to be around.
1) “I’m just being honest.”
We all appreciate honesty, but there’s a fine line between being truthful and using “honesty” as an excuse to be blunt or even rude.
When someone constantly says, “I’m just being honest,” it often means they’re delivering criticism without much thought for how it affects others.
Instead of offering constructive feedback, they might be using their words to tear people down—while expecting a free pass because they’re “just telling it like it is.”
A truly easygoing person knows that honesty doesn’t have to come at the expense of kindness. They find ways to be direct without making others feel small in the process.
2) “I would never do that.”
I once told a former coworker about a last-minute weekend trip I took on a whim. Her immediate response? “I would never do that.”
She didn’t ask how the trip went or seem interested in the experience at all. Instead, it felt like she was passing judgment—like my way of doing things was somehow wrong just because it wasn’t her way.
When someone frequently says, “I would never do that,” it often signals a rigid mindset. Rather than being open to different perspectives or lifestyles, they draw hard lines between what’s “acceptable” and what isn’t.
An easygoing person might still have personal preferences, but they don’t impose them on others. Instead of shutting things down, they stay curious and open to new ideas—even if they wouldn’t personally choose them.
3) “Well, actually…”
You know the type. The one who just has to correct you—even when it doesn’t really matter.
You mention that coffee is a lifesaver, and they jump in with, “Well, actually, caffeine can cause dehydration.”
You casually say it’ll take 20 minutes to get somewhere, and they chime in with, “Well, actually, it’s more like 18 if you take the back road.”
It’s exhausting.
No one likes feeling like they’re constantly being fact-checked in everyday conversation. Of course, there are times when accuracy matters—but easygoing people don’t nitpick over minor details just to prove a point.
They understand that not every discussion needs to turn into a debate.
4) “That’s just the way I am.”
We all have quirks, but when someone constantly says, “That’s just the way I am,” it’s usually not about harmless personality traits—it’s an excuse to avoid self-reflection.
Maybe she’s always late, overly critical, or quick to snap at people. Instead of acknowledging how her behavior affects others, she shrugs it off as if change isn’t an option.
The truth? It’s not that she can’t adjust—it’s that she won’t.
Easygoing people don’t cling to rigid explanations for their behavior. They’re open to feedback, willing to grow, and understand that being adaptable makes life (and relationships) a whole lot smoother.
5) “I hate drama.”
Ironically, the people who say this the most often seem to attract the most drama.
Studies have shown that those who claim to “hate drama” actually tend to be more involved in interpersonal conflicts. Why? Because they usually see themselves as the victim in every situation—never the common denominator.
Instead of letting things go, they rehash old arguments, complain about how others have wronged them, and somehow always seem to be in the middle of a new conflict.
Easygoing people don’t need to announce that they avoid drama—they simply don’t engage in it. They let small things slide, focus on solutions instead of problems, and don’t waste energy stirring the pot.
6) “I guess I just have higher standards than most people.”
Having standards is great. Expecting respect, honesty, and effort from others is completely reasonable. But when someone uses this phrase often, it’s rarely about genuine self-respect—it’s usually about looking down on others.
No one is perfect. People get busy, make mistakes, and sometimes fall short. That doesn’t mean they’re unworthy—it just means they’re human.
Easygoing people understand this. They don’t hold impossibly high expectations over others’ heads or act like they’re the only ones who “get it.” Instead, they give grace, assume good intentions, and appreciate the effort people do make.
7) “I don’t care.”
Except… she does. A lot.
People who say “I don’t care” all the time usually care more than they’re willing to admit. But instead of communicating openly, they shut down conversations, dismiss others’ opinions, and make it difficult to connect on a real level.
Easygoing people don’t play that game. If something matters to them, they say so. If it doesn’t, they’re still engaged enough to respect that it matters to someone else.
The bottom line
Words shape the way people experience us. The phrases we use—whether consciously or not—can make us seem approachable or difficult, open or rigid.
If you recognize some of these in your own conversations, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means there’s room to soften, to listen more, to let go of the need to control how things unfold.
Easygoing doesn’t mean passive. It doesn’t mean having no opinions or boundaries. It simply means creating space for flexibility, for understanding, for connection without resistance.
People gravitate toward those who make life feel lighter. And often, that starts with the words we choose.
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