7 body language signs that make a man look soft and lacking in self-confidence

Body language speaks louder than words.

The way you carry yourself can instantly signal confidence—or reveal insecurity.

People pick up on these signals, often without realizing it. Whether in business or personal life, appearing unsure of yourself can affect how others perceive and respond to you.

Fortunately, body language is something you can improve with awareness and small adjustments.

Here are seven body language signs that can make a man look soft and lacking in self-confidence—and what to do instead.

1) Avoiding eye contact

Eye contact is one of the most powerful forms of nonverbal communication.

When someone avoids eye contact, it can signal nervousness, submission, or a lack of confidence. People naturally trust those who can meet their gaze—especially in professional and social settings.

Think about a time when you spoke with someone who kept looking away or staring at the ground. It likely made them seem uncertain or disengaged. On the other hand, maintaining steady (but not overly intense) eye contact conveys self-assurance and presence.

This doesn’t mean you should stare people down. The key is balance—holding eye contact naturally during conversations while occasionally looking away to avoid making it uncomfortable.

If you tend to struggle with eye contact, practice by focusing on the area between a person’s eyes. Over time, this will help you feel more comfortable maintaining steady engagement without feeling pressured.

2) Slouching posture

Your posture says a lot about how you see yourself—and how others should see you.

When a man slouches, he physically takes up less space, signaling insecurity or a lack of self-belief. It’s a posture that suggests defeat before a word is even spoken.

I’ve noticed this in myself during times when I wasn’t feeling my best. The more I allowed my shoulders to cave in and my head to drop, the more I felt small—not just physically, but mentally as well.

On the other hand, standing tall with your shoulders back isn’t just about appearances. Research shows that adopting an open, upright posture can actually influence your mindset, making you feel more confident and assertive.

If you catch yourself slouching, make a conscious effort to straighten up. Not in a stiff or forced way, but in a way that feels natural and strong. You deserve to take up space.

3) Fidgeting too much

Restless hands, shifting feet, constant adjusting—these small movements can send a loud message: uncertainty.

When a man fidgets excessively, it signals nervousness and a lack of control. Whether it’s tapping fingers, playing with objects, or shifting weight from foot to foot, these behaviors make it seem like he’s uncomfortable in his own skin.

I’ve caught myself doing this in moments of self-doubt, and I know how easily it can undermine presence and authority.

The key isn’t to force yourself into unnatural stillness but to develop a sense of ease in your body. Ground yourself. Take slow breaths. Become aware of your movements so they align with confidence rather than anxiety.

A great way to build this awareness is through self-reflection and personal growth. If you’re looking to explore this further, my video on overcoming imposter syndrome might resonate with you.

It delves into why feeling like an imposter isn’t something to fight against, but rather a sign of deep self-awareness that can lead to authentic growth.

4) Weak handshake

A handshake is one of the simplest yet most revealing forms of body language.

A weak, limp handshake signals a lack of confidence and presence. It tells people—consciously or unconsciously—that you’re unsure of yourself, that you don’t fully own your place in the world. And whether it’s fair or not, people make snap judgments based on this moment of contact.

This isn’t about dominance. It’s not about crushing someone’s hand to prove strength. It’s about showing up with intention, meeting the other person with equal energy, and signaling that you respect both yourself and them.

In a world obsessed with hierarchy and power plays, I reject the idea that confidence means overpowering others. Real confidence comes from self-awareness and taking responsibility for how we present ourselves.

A firm, steady handshake isn’t about forcing importance—it’s about embodying it from within.

5) Hesitant or unsure movements

Confidence isn’t just about what you say—it’s about how you move.

When a man hesitates before taking action, whether it’s reaching for something, stepping into a room, or making a decision, it signals uncertainty.

Small, unsure movements—like retracting a hand mid-gesture or second-guessing a step—create an impression of self-doubt. And people pick up on this, often without realizing it.

Hesitation comes from fear—fear of making the wrong move, fear of judgment, fear of failure. But here’s the raw truth: no one is keeping score of your every step. The world doesn’t pause to analyze whether you moved with perfect certainty. What matters is that you own your actions.

This ties directly into the belief that empowerment comes from taking responsibility for ourselves. Instead of waiting for external validation or permission to act, step forward with intention.

Move with purpose, even if you’re unsure. Confidence isn’t about always knowing the right answer—it’s about trusting yourself enough to make a choice and stand by it.

6) Over-controlling your body language

Trying too hard to appear confident can have the opposite effect.

When a man stiffens his posture, forces a deep voice, or exaggerates his gestures to seem more dominant, it often comes across as unnatural—or even insecure. True confidence isn’t about performing confidence; it’s about being comfortable in your own skin.

People who trust themselves don’t need to micromanage every movement. They allow their body language to flow naturally because they aren’t fixated on how others perceive them. They’re present in the moment, engaged in real connection rather than obsessing over how they appear.

This connects to a deeper truth: personal freedom comes from authenticity. When you let go of the need to control every detail of how you’re perceived, you create space for genuine self-expression.

That’s when real confidence emerges—not from forcing an image, but from embodying who you truly are.

7) Speaking with a tense or restrained voice

Your voice is part of your body language. It carries emotion, energy, and conviction—or a lack of it.

When a man speaks with a tight, restrained voice, it signals hesitation and discomfort. A voice that’s too quiet, overly careful, or lacking variation in tone can make him seem unsure of himself. It’s not just about volume—it’s about speaking with ease and presence.

This often happens when people are too focused on saying the “right” thing rather than speaking from a place of authenticity. They filter their words excessively, afraid of how they’ll be received. But real confidence doesn’t come from perfect speech; it comes from trusting your own voice.

If this resonates, the key shift is to relax. Breathe deeply before speaking. Let your voice carry naturally without forcing it. Speak like someone who knows their words have value—not because they’re perfectly crafted, but because they come from an honest place.

This ties into a deeper belief: creativity and self-expression are fundamental to who we are. When you suppress your natural way of speaking out of fear or self-doubt, you’re cutting off an essential part of yourself.

Confidence isn’t about performing—it’s about allowing what’s inside you to come through without resistance.

The silent language of confidence

Body language is more than just movement—it reflects how we see ourselves and engage with the world.

Subtle cues, from eye contact to posture, can determine whether we appear self-assured or uncertain. But the real shift doesn’t come from simply “fixing” these external signs. It comes from cultivating a deeper sense of confidence within.

When you trust yourself, your body naturally follows. Your gestures become more deliberate, your presence more grounded, and your interactions more authentic. Confidence isn’t about pretending but aligning your inner state with your outward expression.

Every small adjustment in how you carry yourself is an opportunity to reinforce this alignment. And over time, these changes don’t just affect how others perceive you—they reshape how you perceive yourself.

As Friedrich Nietzsche once said: “We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once.” Confidence is much the same—it’s not something to be forced, but something to be embodied through movement, presence, and self-trust.