I’ve always believed that honesty is the glue holding our personal and professional relationships together. During my years running a startup—where every team member’s integrity made or broke a deal—I learned how to spot people who bent the truth a little too often.
Nowadays, as a writer delving into business psychology, I’ve found that research backs up a lot of what I observed firsthand.
Here are nine signs someone isn’t a very honest person, all supported by psychological insights (and a bit of my own experience).
1. Their Stories Consistently Don’t Add Up
When you hear different versions of the same story, it’s a red flag. Psychologist Paul Ekman, who pioneered research on lying, found that inconsistent details are common among people who regularly stretch the truth. If someone’s story changes every time they tell it, you might want to double-check the facts.
As Mark Twain once said, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” A constantly morphing tale is a sign the narrator might be manufacturing details.
2. They Avoid Eye Contact—or Overdo It
Contrary to popular belief, liars don’t always avoid eye contact. Some will stare intently, trying to prove they have “nothing to hide.”
Honest people tend to maintain natural eye contact patterns, while dishonest folks either stare too little or too much.
If you’ve ever sat across from a person in a negotiation who held eye contact unnaturally long, you know how unsettling it feels.
3. They Seem Uncomfortable When Asked for Specifics
Back in my startup days, I once caught a potential partner off guard by asking for precise financial figures. Suddenly, he became jittery and vague.
Liars often struggle with specifics because they worry the finer details will trip them up.
If someone gets flustered, fidgety, or changes the topic when you press for more information, it could be a sign they’re not entirely truthful.
4. They’re Defensive Instead of Explanatory
There’s a difference between confidently clarifying a point and lashing out defensively. If every question is met with anger or hostility, it might indicate someone is hiding something.
Sigmund Freud famously said, “No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips; betrayal oozes out of him at every pore.”
Aggression can be a defense mechanism when the truth feels vulnerable.
5. They Overuse Qualifiers and Filler Words
Dishonest people often rely on phrases like “Honestly,” “Believe me,” or “Trust me,” hoping the repetition will inspire confidence.
They might also pepper their speech with filler words such as “uh,” “um,” and “like,” while they mentally scramble to piece together a false narrative.
Watch for this pattern the next time someone insists on their honesty a bit too frequently.
6. They Flip the Script Too Often
Another tactic I noticed in business was when someone quickly shifts focus onto you or another person. This is a distraction method known as “deflection.”
Instead of answering a direct question, they might say, “Why would you even ask me that?” or “What about the time you…?”
Psychology experts note that skilled liars use deflection to confuse the conversation and avoid scrutiny.
7. They Have a Pattern of Broken Promises
Everyone has slip-ups, but if someone regularly fails to follow through—and doesn’t seem too concerned about it—there’s likely dishonesty at play.
It might be small at first, like failing to show up for a planned meeting, but repeated breaches of trust add up.
This was a hard lesson I learned when I trusted the wrong person to deliver on a vital project. Over time, broken promises often reveal deeper character issues.
8. Their Body Language Often Contradicts Their Words
Sometimes, our bodies show our true feelings before our mouths do. According to Ekman, microexpressions—fleeting facial expressions—can leak the truth.
An enthusiastic “yes” followed by a rapid frown or a tense jaw might signal reluctance. If you spot a mismatch between what they say (“I’m excited to collaborate!”) and how they look (nervous or grim), pay attention.
9. They Seem to Enjoy Telling “Little White Lies”
Not all dishonesty is big and dramatic. Some people casually drop small lies into everyday conversation—exaggerating past achievements, fibbing about weekend plans—just to seem more interesting or cover up trivial matters.
Over time, those “little white lies” can snowball, reflecting a general comfort with dishonesty.
When someone frequently glosses over the truth, it might mean they’re not as trustworthy as they appear.
Final Thoughts
It’s not about becoming paranoid or accusing everyone of lying—good relationships (both personal and professional) thrive on trust, not suspicion. Still, being aware of these signs can save you from sticky situations. From my entrepreneurial days to my writing career, I’ve learned that honesty keeps everyone on solid ground.
In the words of the legendary Carl Rogers, “What is most personal is most universal.” We’ve all felt that sting of discovering someone lied to us.
Recognizing these signs can help us navigate relationships, build better teams, and ultimately surround ourselves with people we can trust.
And when in doubt, it never hurts to look for consistency—because genuine honesty tends to shine through, one detail at a time.
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