If there’s one thing I’ve learned from my years navigating the often chaotic world of entrepreneurship, it’s that our inner lives—our thoughts, emotions, and intentions—deserve deliberate care and attention.
In my early days running a startup, I often found myself oversharing, seeking validation from colleagues, mentors, and even strangers on social media.
Over time, I realized that not everything is meant for public consumption. The ancient Stoics understood this well, and their wisdom offers us timeless insights into what we ought to keep private.
By guarding certain areas of our lives, we can preserve our mental clarity, protect our personal relationships, and maintain our sense of inner peace.
In this article, I’ll share seven specific things you should keep under wraps, backed by the lessons of Stoic philosophy. I’ll also sprinkle in a bit of my personal journey—one that taught me the delicate balance between openness and discretion.
1. Your Deepest Insecurities
We live in an age where vulnerability is often encouraged and can foster genuine connections. However, there’s a difference between healthy openness and displaying your deepest fears for all to see. The Stoics believed that our sense of self should not be dictated by external validation. If we broadcast every anxiety or negative self-perception, we risk allowing public opinion to shape how we see ourselves.
Marcus Aurelius once wrote, “You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
These words serve as a reminder that our private struggles are ours to work through first, lest they spiral out of control in the public eye.
I once made the mistake of venting about a major product failure on social media, expecting solace. Instead, the avalanche of opinions and criticisms only worsened my self-doubt.
It was a valuable lesson in containing and managing my insecurities internally before I chose to share them (if at all).
Tip: Share your deepest insecurities only with those you trust implicitly—mentors, close friends, or a therapist—while you work to resolve them from within.
2. Your Financial Details
Money is a touchy subject, and for good reason—it directly relates to how we provide for ourselves and our loved ones. The Stoics recognized that wealth, while a resource to be managed responsibly, doesn’t define our moral character. In fact, they often cautioned against letting it control our actions.
Seneca said, “Wealth is the slave of a wise man. The master of a fool.” By making your income, net worth, or exact financial details public, you invite unwanted scrutiny or envy.
There was a point when my startup received a substantial investment, and I couldn’t help but boast about it. Unexpectedly, I found that people’s attitudes toward me changed—some became resentful, others tried to take advantage. It created needless tension in my personal and professional life.
Tip: Keep details like your salary, net worth, or big wins private unless you have a strategic reason to share them (for instance, while negotiating a business deal).
3. Your Most Precious Goals
Setting ambitious goals is crucial for progress, but broadcasting every lofty target or milestone to the world can dilute its potency. There’s something about quietly hustling toward an ambition that keeps you grounded. The Stoics emphasized focusing on actions rather than boasting of intent.
Epictetus taught, “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.”
In other words, keep the emphasis on your actions rather than self-promotion. Early in my entrepreneurial career, I found myself sharing every new idea with a wide circle of acquaintances. Eventually, I realized I was draining my motivation by talking too much about what I “would” do rather than actually doing it.
Tip: Nurture your goals in private, or with a trusted advisor or friend, until you’re ready to unveil the results.
4. Your Intimate Family Matters
Family issues can be deeply personal—ranging from health challenges to private disagreements. Publicizing such matters can strain relationships further and invite judgment or unwelcome advice. Stoics like Marcus Aurelius wrote extensively about our duties to those close to us, reminding us that harmony in our personal sphere is paramount to our overall tranquility.
Once, I posted a frustrated rant about a personal family dispute on my company blog (I cringe even thinking about it now). The result? Awkward follow-up questions from clients, peers, and even distant relatives who read the post. It not only prolonged the conflict but turned a private matter into a public spectacle.
Marcus Aurelius said, “If it is not right, do not do it, if it is not true, do not say it.” He might as well have added: “If it does not concern others, do not broadcast it.” Respect others’ privacy and protect your own peace of mind.
Tip: Handle family disputes and personal news privately, sharing only with those who have a direct stake or supportive role in the situation.
5. Your Private Acts of Kindness
Doing good for its own sake is a core tenet of Stoicism, but it should never be for show. Modern culture often glamorizes public acts of charity. While it’s admirable to inspire others, turning generosity into a publicity stunt can undermine its genuine impact.
Seneca wrote, “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” Notice he never said anything about tweeting or Instagramming those acts of kindness.
In my own life, I once funded a scholarship for a local nonprofit that had helped me back in my early days. Initially, I wanted to write a blog post about it—showing gratitude, or so I thought. But something told me to keep this private. Later, I found the recipients treasured the scholarship without the added pressure of public scrutiny.
Tip: Perform acts of kindness discreetly. Let the positive impact—and not your own self-promotion—take center stage.
6. Your Detailed Personal Boundaries
There’s nothing wrong with letting people know where you draw the line. However, broadcasting the specifics of those boundaries to every acquaintance or social media follower can backfire.
Stoic wisdom focuses on self-control and ensuring our actions align with our core principles. When we detail every boundary publicly, we give others a guide to test or exploit them.
A personal anecdote: I once shared on LinkedIn that I never answer work emails after 7 p.m. to maintain a work-life balance. What happened next was a barrage of late-night messages that people purposely sent “just to see if I really practiced what I preached.” It was a minor annoyance, but a lesson nonetheless—sometimes, it’s best to quietly uphold your principles.
Epictetus reminds us, “No man is free who is not master of himself.” Part of mastering yourself is maintaining healthy boundaries without necessarily announcing them to the world.
Tip: Clearly define personal boundaries, but don’t feel obligated to justify or broadcast them. Simply uphold them consistently.
7. Your Emotional Turmoil in the Heat of the Moment
We’re all susceptible to anger, frustration, or sorrow. The Stoics never claimed we shouldn’t feel these emotions; they urged us to respond to them thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. One of the biggest mistakes I see—one I’ve also been guilty of—is rushing to social media to vent.
Marcus Aurelius advised, “The best revenge is not to be like your enemy.” Although he specifically refers to revenge here, the broader principle is about rising above negative impulses.
The times I’ve reacted hastily—posting emotional tirades or sending angry emails—I only created more problems for myself. Calm reflection before sharing your emotional state will save you from regret later.
Tip: Give yourself a cooling-off period. Write down your thoughts in a journal (or your phone’s notes) instead of blasting them to the entire world. Revisit them after you’ve calmed down, and then decide whether it’s wise or necessary to share.
Embrace Stoic Discretion for a More Balanced Life
In a culture that often equates transparency with honesty and authenticity, it’s easy to forget that we have a right—maybe even a responsibility—to maintain some privacy. The Stoics teach us that true strength and wisdom involve recognizing what belongs to us (our thoughts, values, and decisions) and what doesn’t (external events and other people’s opinions).
Guarding certain details of our lives doesn’t make us deceptive or secretive; it makes us discerning. My own journey from entrepreneur to writer has shown me that sharing less can sometimes be the best way to cultivate genuine connections and a sense of inner peace.
Remember: You don’t owe the world unlimited access to your private self. By keeping these seven areas of your life discreet, you’ll stand on firmer ground, free from the storm of external judgment or exploitation. True Stoic wisdom lies in balancing openness with the humility to know when to stay silent and let your actions speak for themselves.
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